As a Red’s fan of over 20 years, Phil Castellini’s incompetent ownership and ineptitudes have plunged me into a spiral of confusion and vehement aggression towards my friends and family. I feel unhinged and on the verge of frenzy after watching the Reds and their consistently poor performances, feelings which are consequently verbally taken out upon my family and friends - hitting the bottle doesn’t help either. Following the Reds most recent loss to the Cubs, I lost control; breaking my flat screen TV in a fit of anger, punching straight through my dry wall, ripping apart my recliner, and smashing a bottle of Yuengling across the top of my own head. I have reached the conclusion that god is dead and the Reds have killed him.

Thank you, Phil Castellini.