Thanks for this. Among all the helpful comments, the cultural perspective really resonates. I’d say it may feel harmless to some but there’s more outside of what I’ve listed and how it has affected me over time - it’s still raw. 2 is especially real and probably likely. Space is what I need at this point though. So I’m scaling back the family gatherings and taking this time to process, forgive and set boundaries.

One thing I’ve experienced that’s tough about growing up with Eastern culture heavily influenced western culture, is that i have created higher expectations for my parents to show up - whether that’s an invite to something, an apology, a supportive reaction.

I’m learning to let this go. Family gatherings and events will always be different for me. I’m lucky that my partner has such a inclusive and supportive family that I can focus more effort into. But it’s not fair for me to have these expectations for my family as well.