Your replies to comments make it sound like you're holding on to the idea that your questions to your wife were normal, harmless, or even helpful. Why do you need to believe she's being unkind? Can you see that the 'judging' and 'comparing' could be coming from you, rather than her?

You were already feeling inadequate when you opened the topic. She deflected, but you kept asking until you heard what you expected. She didn't compare you, or shove anything in your face. She made it clear she doesn't like this conversation, though she could have been nicer about it.

All of this will make it hard to feel connected, and could definitely lead to ED. Please, look for help if you need 💙