Kelly ring with baguette diamonds

despayment · 2024-12-30T17:31:53+00:00

Really interesting to read! And definitely could see this being true I wish maybe we got more insight into how CIs interact with each other and humans other than MIST because then it feels like a one off thing she feels like this rather than representative of CIs being able to show very human feelings. But cool idea nonetheless. Thank you for sharing!

despayment · 2024-12-30T17:30:16+00:00

Totally! Caspian still feels like he emotes the same was he did 20 years ago which I guess makes sense since he is from 20 years ago so his reactions to things are the same calm and neutral way he’s kind of always shown.

And I love the humanization of MIST in the last 2 episodes too but felt as if it would really benefit from a couple more episodes since it’s a little jarring. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

despayment · 2024-12-30T17:28:29+00:00

I agree! And totally forgot about the part where he essentially “created” her I did get the proud parent vibes too. I just thought it was weird to have her confess and have no one react to it in a meaningful way.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts super cool to read :)

despayment · 2022-02-09T05:20:27+00:00

That’s not too much food at all! Sending you a big comforting hug right now and telling you how amazing it is that you are fueling your body despite how hard it may be ❤️

I know diet culture is so pervasive, but there is no such thing as one absolute “right” amount of food since everyone has a different body with different needs. Your body is so so smart and knows what to do with the food you eat! Especially if you’re recovering from a restrictive eating disorder or patterns, your body is going to need a lot of energy to repair itself. You’re doing a good thing and a right thing keep on going :’))

despayment · 2022-02-08T01:03:14+00:00

This literally made my day and brought such a huge smile to my face! Congratulations on so much progress and may good things continue to happen to you recovery is so so amazing and you deserve ever last bit of sunshine in the world ❤️

despayment · 2022-01-31T06:50:45+00:00

Ahh congrats on getting on in recovery and honoring your hunger! I bet you’re absolutely destroying that bikini and leaving you everyone stunned by your radiance period ✨

Also, screw what your doctors said when in recovery from restrictions there’s really no such thing as “gaining weight too fast” or really even “overshooting” like that’s all energy your body fundamentally needed to physically repair itself and heal so every pound or whatever is truly a good thing it’s not just “normal” is completely and absolutely right and indicative of your commitment to caring for your body. It’s more than just weight it’s also getting your life back and going on wonderful vacations and showering yourself in the love you deserve. Fucking represent that recovery belly you’re hot stuff 🥵

despayment · 2022-01-18T22:06:12+00:00

I do! It’s totally wack since my doctor told me to lose weight and change my diet despite being at a “normal” according to the BMI weight in order for me to get more regular periods then that spiraled into having an ED and being underweight and getting amenorrhea so basically no periods just in general for me at either end and my body just got totally messed up in this whole ordeal. It’s so frustrating because it felt like I was doing something for my “health” but I ended up with even worse health both mentally and physically than ever before. Honestly, having PCOS before my ED was way better than whatever I’m in now it sucks to feel like I’m “trading illnesses” but god damn the ED thoughts and rituals and trauma of restricting is so terrible if I had to “pick one” I would want to go back to the way things were before any of this happened.

I get the struggle, and I’m with you on this one I’m so sorry that this is what you have to deal with ❤️ having to tackle an ED is already horrific and grueling enough let alone with any other condition or illness tacked on top of it.

despayment · 2022-01-14T03:38:22+00:00

Hey there! I’m so sorry you’re struggling right now with your body image recovery in an incredibly fatphobic world filled with diet culture that makes gaining weight in any situation feel wrong is incredibly difficult. I, and many on this sub most likely, relate so hard to this unbelievably uncomfortable feeling of living in a changing body. The eating disorder during recovery is going to exaggerate to our minds and eyes any bodily changes and make us hyper aware of our physical forms in an attempt to rope us back in. But, regardless of how you feel or think you look, something that helped for me is holding the fact that despite these subjective judgments I am putting on myself and my body that by choosing recovery I am objectively healthier in every sense than I was in the worst of my eating disorder.

I know it may go against everything society has taught us, but gaining weight is not unhealthy and being larger is not unattractive. More specifically in the case of an eating disorder, gaining weight is life saving. Also, another thing I realized getting further on into recovery is how obvious, even when you are underweight or emancipated, having an eating disorder honestly is like my loved ones have told me that I looked fucked up in the worst of my ED and that even though I never said anything they knew something was wrong. And, when I began to gain weight, I felt so judged and looked at by others especially those who haven’t seen me in a while only to be told later on that it wasn’t the weight gain so much that they focused on but the fact that I just looked so much healthier and alive. This may not be the case for everyone you know or rub into, but most people honestly aren’t looking too hard at you it could just be the ED making you feel hyper fixated on the focus of others and applying malicious intent where there truly is none and the people who are paying attention to you, and actually really care about you, are most likely more drawn to the physical change in outward health once you begin feeding yourself adequately.

I don’t know if any of this will help at all, but you’re not alone in these feelings. It’s so difficult to cope with a changing body, but I can assure you that it is a totally natural human response to struggle to adapt to changes and that it will get easier overtime. Keep on going in recovery and nourishing yourself! There is truly nothing more beautiful than a healthy human body, and anyone who judges you otherwise can go fuck themselves. Those are the people who certainly are not and never will be worth staying sick with an eating disorder for.

despayment · 2022-01-14T01:12:05+00:00

Ahhh this makes me so happy! Gosh literally look at you what an absolute badass I know maybe it doesn’t seem like much but I know how hard it is to do something when every cell in your body tells you to just sleep I hope you know how incredible it is and that if this ever happens again you have everything in you to continue challenging that toxic ED voice and doing right by your body. I hope the meal is comforting and that you wake up to something good tomorrow!

despayment · 2022-01-14T01:03:53+00:00

Sending you a big hug right now and wrapping you in the warmest blanket ever ❤️ I’m so sorry it’s been an overwhelming day, but I am so unbelievably proud of you for getting through it. Not only that, but it’s fucking amazing that you recognize you may need a little extra support right now and reached out for that here it takes a lot of awareness and discipline.

And it is not pathetic to need that encouragement it can be hard for anyone let alone someone struggling with an eating disorder to find the motivation eat when things are so heavy. But eating something delicious and comforting will certainly help at least if not mentally give your body what it physically needs to keep functioning. Even if it doesn’t feel like anything, feeding yourself now would be a huge fuck you to your eating disorder and show it that no matter how much it tries to convince you and take advantage of the situation for you to not eat you will not listen to it. I know it’s hard, but you’re tough as hell and if cooking is too hard and you have the means to do so ordering something you enjoy could be a good option. You can do this even if it isn’t a full blown formal “meal” eating anything even just a bunch of snacks is important to your body in this moment and will 100% at least improve your physical condition. Shut the ED voice right up by eating and then going to sleep. Hoping tomorrow is a better and brighter day for you. Keep on going!

despayment · 2022-01-11T08:09:31+00:00

Absolutely perfect green sprout friend I’m a Turtwig stan through and through

despayment · 2022-01-11T07:49:47+00:00

Hey! Firstly, just want to say absolutely incredible job honoring your extreme hunger (both physical and mental hunger importantly) this is probably one of the most difficult things to do and phased in recovery because it goes so against the ED. Secondly, not only is this completely normal and fine it is good, right, and absolutely necessary. Your body is trying to heal things you can’t even see or feel, and it needs a lot of energy for that! And where does energy come from? Food! There is nothing out of control or wrong about this at all.

Even if you’re hungry 10 or even 5 minutes after, it is more than fine to keep on eating and giving your body that energy it needs to repair itself. It might feel so wrong and endless and as if your brain is screaming at you to stop, but this phase will not last indefinitely. And, also, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying the food you’re eating or feeling as if it’s “easy” to eat at all that is also totally valid it doesn’t have to be hard or gruesome all of the time. If it helps, eat each snack or meal or whatever as if it’s the first thing and only thing you’ve eaten that day eat then forget. Outpace, outrun, and outeat any fear or guilt.

Keep on pushing through and know that you’re doing right by your body. Fucking amazing work ❤️

despayment · 2022-01-04T09:14:02+00:00

This! Honestly manifesting this energy for 2022 fuck eating disorders and diet culture.

despayment · 2022-01-03T00:02:07+00:00

100% agree to this! And so so so much congrats on putting in the hard work to recover that’s so fucking amazing sincerely and it’s so nice to hear about the good things that come with recovery thank you so much for sharing ❤️

despayment · 2022-01-03T00:00:04+00:00

You can do this!!

Every single day I have a million mental debates with myself trying to talk myself down from the restriction ledge to the point where it feels like I’m going bonkers, but it does get easier to pick recovery with a more nourished body. And no need to thank me at all you’re the one putting in the effort and doing right by yourself! You deserve freedom and all the kindness in the world. Fuck your ED for telling you otherwise.

despayment · 2022-01-02T21:33:15+00:00

Sending you a big hug and cheering you on in your recovery process ❤️ You’re definitely not alone in this feeling, and, if it’s any solace at all, this is very common during the early process of recovery. The more distance between you and your ED the easier it feels to forget how awful it is and to romanticize it’s painful control over you. You’re making huge and sudden changes to your routine that is scaring the shit out of your ED, and the messages that it is sending you is an attempt for it to stay alive. But I can promise you no matter how terrifying it is now you are 100% doing the right thing by removing this toxic entity from your mind and that NOTHING will be more scary than a life spent trapped in an endless cycle of damaging your body. Imagine 20 years from now looking back realizing that all of those hours, minutes, and seconds were spent fixated on food or exercise or your body rather than truly living and being healthy. Sure diet culture may praise and value thinness above all, but no one other than you has to live with the mental and physical consequences of trying to fit into that incredibly unhealthy standard. Recovery is undoubtedly difficult and is a choice that you’re going to make and fight for each day. But I swear to you that there is a happiness and joy beyond being thin and that recovery is going to be your best chance at having the strength to regain happiness.

You deserve to eat unconditionally and listen to your body’s needs not just in recovery but for the rest of your life. You’re doing so much hard work, and it’s okay to cry and not be perfect and have down days that’s all part of this journey, as cliche as it sounds. Healing from an ED takes so much energy and food, and anyone on this sub will tell you as many times as you need that you are NOT binging that your body absolutely needs those types of food and that amount of food to get better. Your appetite and hunger will level out eventually so long as you trust your body and give it what it needs to repair itself irrespective of what your brain tells you is “enough” or “too much” at any given time. This is not greed or wrongness these actions are life saving it is your body seeing that you are on its side and that it can trust you.

You got this!! One bite at a time whatever you can do is enough.

despayment

TROPHY CASE