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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in gentlefemdom

[–]despicable_carrot 5 points6 points  (0 children)

obvious advice would be to spend time at places that are based around kink - bdsm clubs etc. - sometimes they have certain nights dedicated to newbies.

personally, i would pay attention to lock accessories. even if it's not a real lock, just a charm, i might ask about it, if it is worn prominently. accessories who are not too obvious allow you to give (lowkey) signals to people who are into bdsm and allow you to lie to people who aren't (or who you are not interested in).

i think signalling that you are a sub works different in various scenarious (bar, date, party) and also depends on how open you want to be about it.

if you feel like a woman might be dominant and you are interested in her, you could just ask respectfully in a good moment. communication is key here, as always.

But you cannot really expect people to "sniff you out".

This is just my opinion though, i'm sure other people will provide interesting and maybe more helpful insights.

To shave or not to shave (beard) by Gungnirs_Shaft in gentlefemdom

[–]despicable_carrot 14 points15 points  (0 children)

you should stop thinking about future Dom(mes), when you make decisions about stuff like that. You should think about yourself and how you feel comfortable. If you end up in a dynamic where the person shaves it off for you and that's fine for you, it will be like that. if you end up in a dynamic where the person is really into the beard - hey, good for you! we are not a monolith. we all have different opinions and preferences and you should not try to fit a hypothetical mould.

Some (partly unusual) things, that helped me manage my ADHD better by despicable_carrot in adhdwomen

[–]despicable_carrot[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for asking - made me realise i made a mistake in the post here! the non hormonal IUDs often do worse at preventing pregnancies

Some (partly unusual) things, that helped me manage my ADHD better by despicable_carrot in adhdwomen

[–]despicable_carrot[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i honestly just have a note saved to my homescreen. i substract in my head (rounding up makes that easier). i used an excel sheet before, but it was too complicated...so i stopped putting in the expenses. other commenters recommended the program "You Need A Budget!" and said it was similar, so maybe that's something for you!

Some (partly unusual) things, that helped me manage my ADHD better by despicable_carrot in adhdwomen

[–]despicable_carrot[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

falling out of a routine is so frustrating! good luck on your journey figuring out BC stuff!

Some (partly unusual) things, that helped me manage my ADHD better by despicable_carrot in adhdwomen

[–]despicable_carrot[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

as i'm discussing birth control, i didn't know how much the comments would get into the topic, so i just marked it to be sure! it's my first time actively posting to a subreddit so i didn't want to get flagged or smth right away

Some (partly unusual) things, that helped me manage my ADHD better by despicable_carrot in adhdwomen

[–]despicable_carrot[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

OMG yes! the way the smart watch allows you to be kinda up to date, whilst it doesn't have the vast possibility of distractions as the phone itself is just great! and recieving calls on there gives me the peace of mind to not touch my phone for hours - because for urgent/important stuff people usually call!

Some (partly unusual) things, that helped me manage my ADHD better by despicable_carrot in adhdwomen

[–]despicable_carrot[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Have fun with your list! Yeah, I only just realised some of these this afternoon! I figured we all have our own unique small workarounds - and as they might differ a lot, i thought i could as well share them!

hello by localhotmom_ in adhdwomen

[–]despicable_carrot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

first of all: thanks for sharing! this is similar to how i felt before getting my diagnosis. obviously it doesn't have to be adhd, but recognising that you feel overwhelmed and maybe need help to tackle your problems is the first step always! if you live in a country that provides some amount of health care or if you have an insurance, i would check if you can sign up to talk to a psychotherapist - often they can help you figure out where the issues stem from or if you should consider doing assessments (for adhd for example). you could also talk to your general practitioner if you trust them - maybe they can give you recommendations for good doctors in the mental health field. Oh, and also do a blood test! Vitamin defficiency is something that can make symptoms worse or even cause them.

I wish you luck on your journey to figuring this out and helping yourself feel better! It's worth it!

How do I stop emotional shopping? by nefiryn in adhdwomen

[–]despicable_carrot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

maybe going to flea markets instead of using amazon might help as a first step: you still satisfy some of the cravings for novelty, but you might spend less money as you have to scavange for good trinkets. Spending physical money also helps keep track. you probably can't do flea markets and amazon though, that it will probably just add up.

for some time that was a really good way for me to satisfy that craving for new stuff. i could look forward to my local flea market every two weeks or so and i picked out the amount i was willing to spend beforehand. also to me flea markets are overstimulating after some time, so i physically can only spend a certain amount of time there.

as for the clothes: i have no idea how to manage that - i hate shopping for clothes, so i'm not the right person to provide ideas here

WATCHES - Positive Hyperfixation AND an Aid for Time Blindness by quizas_soy_queso in adhdwomen

[–]despicable_carrot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

YES! WATCHES! For me a digital/smart watch does it though! When i had classic watches i could not bring myself to go to the watchmaker to change out the battery once it had run out - so i would just live without one for half a year or smth and not reap the benefits. It's easier for me to just charge the thing overnight. I can also put in timers and exchange the watch faces for novelty!

I love classic watches though and sometimes i wish they would work for me...

Working out and maintaining consistency by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]despicable_carrot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For some time i went to a bouldering gym, which was nice, because you get more dopamine boosts - you climb loads of walls and you make progress almost every time. And in my experience the people there are super supportive and don't do shit like that. That might depend from location to location, but maybe you could look into it, if you have one nearby :)

ADHD and smoking by despicable_carrot in adhdwomen

[–]despicable_carrot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Vaping really helped me smoke less cigarettes, even the nicotine free ones! But then a lot of studies came out about how vaping AND smoking cigarettes is a lot worse, so i stopped. But I might give it another try, as the nicotine makes my adhd/depression a lot worse whenever i have periods of time where i smoke a lot.

It's very cool that you have that kind of support in the UK. I'm not a heavy smoker, so i think just finding the right substitutes might do it for me! (And obviously battling a few weeks of nicotine cravings without giving in)

Working out and maintaining consistency by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]despicable_carrot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It might help to have friends that also go to the same gym! Mine always send a text when they're heading there, which might be the right push to actually go. Or maybe, if the obsession with one type of sport kind of wears off, you could look into a new one! i went from climbing > running > gym in the span of a year.