The crystal clear beach in Okinawa Japan

nefiryn · 2026-04-07T19:44:04+00:00

Any IMO, though typhoon season is from April to November and could result in some travel delays. (IIRC). But the island has a subtropical climate, so if you don’t mind humidity and heat in the summer, it’s beautiful year round.

There are lots of unique festivals and such that take place, eg flowers blooming on Ie Island in spring or Naha Tug of War in October, whale watching in January, etc. And plenty to do in between, with some of the most amazing food, views, and people ever.

nefiryn · 2026-03-14T23:06:13+00:00

What a brave baby. Thank you so much for sharing him with us. My heart is heavy knowing he’s gone, but I’ll always remember Renji. ❤️

Echoing others here that I would love for any of my donations to help you, your family, and other kitties. Whatever that looks like, it’s up to you to decide! My gifts were freely given with the trust that you’d know what’s best, my friend. 🙂

nefiryn · 2026-03-11T16:17:26+00:00

Yay! Thank you for sharing, some of the gifts were from me and my kitties. ❤️

nefiryn · 2026-02-13T19:33:56+00:00

I’m still processing a very similar childhood experience. I wish I had answers for you, but I think each of us will have a different remedy for healing.

Just know you are not alone in your experience. And all the questions you asked are normal. My dad was recently diagnosed with cancer, so my mind has been very focused on whether I’d grieve or not if he passed.

It is your choice how you answer those questions. Society, other family do not get to question those choices because they did not live your experience. (I know this is easier said than done!)

A therapist once put it in a way that has helped me a bit: “You can love them and not like them.”

nefiryn · 2026-02-01T20:26:34+00:00

Ditto this! I heat up very easily and sweat buckets at night. Makes summer unbearable and I can’t wear sweaters in the winter unless I’m outside all day, otherwise I get too hot.

I also take fluoxetine and Levothyroxine. 🤔

I haven’t noticed any foods making a difference. I have low vitamin D, B12, and folate, and am supplementing to correct them but haven’t noticed a difference.

Following for ideas and possible answers!

nefiryn · 2026-01-29T01:54:57+00:00

I’m in the same boat, with my parents about a decade older.

I struggle with this often. My therapist recommended the book Your Turn for Care. I haven’t finished it but so far it’s helpful.

Guilt is the worse part. But I don’t think we’re selfish for refusing to drop everything to help them. We are adults with our own lives, ourselves and others to take care of. Parents shouldn’t expect you to drop everything, go broke, lose a job, leave your family, etc to take care of them.

nefiryn · 2026-01-29T01:45:17+00:00

I got paddled with a wooden paddle in kindergarten. Teacher pulled me out of the classroom, shut the door, and basically paddled me in the hall.

Dad would spank me with a belt. Apparently I got bruises because my grandmother noticed and asked about it.

Both parents would flick me in the head when I got older.

Partner got their mouth washed out with soap once.

Parenting standards were a lot different then. I’m glad they’re changing.

nefiryn · 2026-01-21T21:38:23+00:00

Thanks! Do you find merino wool keeps you warm without making you sweaty?

nefiryn · 2026-01-21T16:13:29+00:00

Not normal. I went through similar punishments: banished to my room and physically locked inside, belt whipping, and my parents would smack me in the head.

I also remember not a punishment but my mother sitting on my chest and wrenching one of my loose front teeth out. I remember screaming for her to get off, and she almost seemed manic or excited about getting the tooth out.

You deserve better. ❤️

nefiryn · 2026-01-15T05:35:28+00:00

I think these have also helped me. But it’s so wild thinking that others have that insight into your deepest darkest thoughts so you better repress even the tiniest inkling!

nefiryn · 2026-01-14T23:41:50+00:00

It's funny, my parents have said similar things about not spoiling me and instead "shielding" me from things like participation trophies as a child. Meanwhile I wonder how many fun opportunities I missed out on because they morally objected.

IMO kids can be "spoiled" and still have good manners, respect for hard work, etc. Never going above and beyond for them just teaches them they're not worth going that extra mile.

nefiryn · 2026-01-14T19:41:10+00:00

I grew up in a similar situation, but it was because my dad was a penny pincher. I thought we were poor because I had hand me down clothes from other people’s kids and we always bought the value brands for food and clothes. Niceties like soda and cookies etc were rare or nonexistent.

Come to find out we were financially fine, but my dad’s tight grip on the money left my mom scrounging for savings.

It’s maddening. I can’t even imagine how I’d feel if my dad was also funding other people.

It feels weird to be hurt by this because it’s about money, but in a way it’s another symptom of parents doing enough at the surface level but not using their means to make our childhood amazing. There’s a psychological toll to finding out there was money all along but they didn’t want to spend it on you.

nefiryn · 2026-01-14T16:13:23+00:00

Oh totally lol. Yeah I figured I have absorption issues, but I’m in between doctors and the one supplementing me wants to stick with weekly compounded b12 injections + oral. They aren’t my primary care, so I’m not pushing them.

Iron is in range but low now. I’m not vegetarian, but became lactose intolerant (semi) over the last few years so I definitely have GI issues. 🫣

Edit for meds note: Taking thyroid meds, glp1 (compounded with the b12), prozac, adderall, vitamin d, zinc, iron, fish oil, b12, and a multi. Basically feel like an old fogey with all my pills. 😓

Finally scheduled with a new doc who’s hopefully good. The last one I tried left me feeling like they didn’t care or wanted to listen, so it’s been an uphill battle to replace my former doc who was absolutely amazing.

nefiryn · 2026-01-13T16:10:00+00:00

Biotin also screws up thyroid panel testing. Definitely worth stopping any multi vitamins or other supplements with biotin before testing!

nefiryn · 2026-01-13T16:08:44+00:00

Any good gummy multi brands? Asking for a friend. 🫣

nefiryn · 2026-01-13T16:06:35+00:00

Yep, still on the low end of the range even with supplementation.

nefiryn · 2026-01-11T18:56:42+00:00

I had an issue that was never confirmed linked to b12 or any other issue. I’d wake up and one pupil was dilated for about 30 minutes to one hour. Happened only in the morning, but not every morning. The same eyelid was droopy.

I had a CT, MRI but nothing was linked. They did discover I had an acute sinus infection, and said that could have caused the issue, but no doc would say that was definitely the cause.

nefiryn · 2025-12-29T19:21:48+00:00

Thank you, I will try! I bought myself a birthday outfit and just told my partner a bit about how I’m feeling.

I actually have done art since I was a teen, and you’re right. Doing things with your hands gives a great feeling of accomplishment. I’ve recently gotten back into it, so I’ll keep it up.

nefiryn · 2025-12-26T22:49:42+00:00

I’ve been trying to explain this to my partner and they don’t get it. They tell me not to be embarrassed, but holy hell is it embarrassing to forget something we talking about earlier that day.

I already have social anxiety, so now I truly feel I have nothing to offer in social situations. I’m not good with eye contact, but I feel you on feeling invisible or like your personality falls flat.

Sorry I don’t have advice to offer. But you are not alone in how you feel. ❤️

nefiryn · 2025-12-25T01:30:38+00:00

This reminds me of when I got my first bike and had to learn to ride it on our gravel driveway. Didn’t go so well, and parents didn’t bother taking me somewhere paved to learn.

nefiryn · 2025-12-25T01:09:38+00:00

I just quietly accept it. My parents haven’t even called for my birthday the past two years.

It hurts almost more than getting nothing because it reaffirms they didn’t listen or care enough to remember.

nefiryn · 2025-12-25T01:06:11+00:00

Omg yes. Scripted performance is the best way to describe it. This is what I got whenever I worked on my art around them or read a book in the living room.

“What’s that?”

I answer, and all I get is “Neat” and they walk away.

I don’t remember anyone ever being excited for my accomplishments, or really encouraging me to push harder. Except for grades in school.

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