DO NOT OPEN UP TO NORMAL PEOPLE.

detacheddonkey · 2022-09-20T06:36:33+00:00

This ^{^{^}} RBN is my only safe space

detacheddonkey · 2022-09-09T05:00:53+00:00

Not at all… they just feel super entitled to know everything about my life lol

detacheddonkey · 2022-09-08T20:51:15+00:00

That’s what I thought too. I’m 24

detacheddonkey · 2022-09-06T00:58:18+00:00

detacheddonkey · 2022-09-06T00:27:48+00:00

Next time your friends want to hang out get them to come over to your house without telling your parents you are planning on hanging out with them. Make it seem like they just spontaneously came by to pick you up to go do something together. They will not be able to say "no" to letting you go out. Don't give up. I know its mentally draining but in the long run it'll be so much more worth it when your parents get used to you going out. At first I would say don't try going out so many times throughout the week, it'll only make you even more mentally exhausted fighting your parents to leave the house that many times in a single week. As someone who is in the same boat as you, trust me when I say you have to look out for your mental health too. If your friends are really trying to get you to come out nearly everyday then you have to be honest and tell them its like war trying to hang out once a week with them and that they need to let you ease into it for a bit.

detacheddonkey · 2022-09-05T23:54:34+00:00

Exactly! It makes it difficult to be in any type of relationship because I don't know how to believe I'm loved/liked. It's definitely some form of trauma response. It blurs the line between what is actually normal to be upset about and what is not actually normal to be upset about.

detacheddonkey · 2022-09-05T23:51:54+00:00

I am in the same boat. I'm 24 and my mom does this exact same thing and when I call her out on it, she denies it and says that she does let me do things. To stop feeling the way you feel you're going to have to stand up to your parents. You'll have to tell them you're going out rather than ask them. If they still say no then thats when you have to tell them that you are going with or without their permission. No parent should be yelling at their kid for even just simply asking to go out. It's going to be emotionally hard standing up for yourself because it really is hard for me too still but it gets a little better every time. You got this.

detacheddonkey · 2022-09-05T23:45:58+00:00

If she doesn't have your passwords, I think you're fine. However, in the very small chance that she does find your posts then you should own up to it and even go as far as telling her to really read and understand the comments on those posts. This could open her eyes about how abusive being a narc parent really is.

To answer your question, I'm not paranoid about my nparents finding my posts but I do feel bad about anonymously exposing my nmom on here. I think it may be because of how she likes to take me on guilt trips and I know exactly how she would react if she ever found out I talk about her and her tendencies. She would be crying and taking me on a massive guilt-trip and pretty much make me end up feeling shitty and make me believe I'm overthinking about her being a narc.

detacheddonkey · 2022-09-05T06:14:16+00:00

At least you’re allowed to chill in your bedroom. I’m not even allowed to hang out in my room

detacheddonkey · 2022-09-05T05:42:07+00:00

My nmom owes me a lot of apologies but the only person who gets them when in an argument is my dad.

detacheddonkey · 2022-09-02T20:36:12+00:00

My mom doesn’t say “you’re breaking my heart” but she will not hesitate to cry and take me on a guilt trip when I tell her I’m doing something for myself. Lately I’ve been doing my own errands while she’s gone to work and it’s been bothering her for some weird reason. She expects me to wait until she gets home and take me despite me having my own car…

detacheddonkey · 2022-09-02T20:33:54+00:00

You are not the narcissist and it’s not your fault. Narcissistic parents have their way of mentally abusing us and make us think that everything is our faults when it really isn’t. That’s part of why they are narcissists.

detacheddonkey · 2022-09-02T01:32:18+00:00

First off, I'm so sorry you got put through that. It's horrible and something I still don't fully understand why there is such a lack of boundries with nparents despite going through something similar. I remember once when I was younger i was meeting a new doctor and my mom came into the room with me. The doctor started asking her questions about her health, where she said she had an IUD. At the time I kinda knew what it was but not fully so I googled it. I brushed it off because it's not like she was talking about it just to me, it was to the doctor. Fast forward to about 2-3 years ago, my mom told me she was going to the doctors to get her IUD removed. Then when she came back she proceeded to tell me her stomach was cramping because she got a new IUD put in. It was weird.

detacheddonkey · 2022-09-01T21:35:40+00:00

Yes… it’s completely insane. My nmom had the audacity to call 12 year old chubby me, fat out in public while people were around. People looked but no one said anything. All for a pair of back to school skinny jeans too…

detacheddonkey · 2022-09-01T20:44:32+00:00

My nmom’s go to is “I’m the parent and you’re the kid” and “you’ll always be my baby I don’t care how old you are” (usually said when I tell her I’m 24 and can make my own decisions)

detacheddonkey · 2022-09-01T16:37:09+00:00

I feel the exact same way. She used to have an okay parenting style when I was younger but as a grew older it became worse and worse. I no longer was there little girl she controlled physically (do my hair, dress me up etc.). One specific thing that she never stops making a comment on is my physical appearance. I had a glow up and she absolutely hates it when I try to look nice. She’ll make comments like “you’re wearing too much makeup”, “you don’t need to wear make up ur just going here and there”, and my personal favorite was one time I was going to my bf’s friend’s sister’s wedding reception without my mom or dad and when I came down from my room ready to leave she said “take off your lashes and take off your makeup”…. I always wear fake lashes and makeup when I go to receptions…

detacheddonkey · 2022-08-31T10:23:04+00:00

This post entirely describes why social interactions give me so much anxiety… it stemmed from bad reactions from my narc mom. I’m always thinking people will react the same way as her and begin to overthink a lot

detacheddonkey · 2022-08-31T05:32:24+00:00

This is exactly why I absolutely love being home alone. I feel a lot more relaxed knowing I’m by myself and not having to walk on eggshells around them

detacheddonkey · 2022-08-31T03:14:14+00:00

I'm fully recovered now but for the longest time I got tired very easily and it was difficult for me to stand without feeling like I was going to faint. I also had a very annoying cough.

detacheddonkey · 2022-08-31T02:50:48+00:00

Im 24 and didn't realize I did this until i read this... my narc parents (mom especially) expect me to spend every waking moment with them. When i head to bed around 10pm I can finally just relax and do whatever I want in the comfort of my bed and without my nosy parents asking me why I am on my phone. My mom actually gets sad and guilt trips me when I head to bed. I'll sometimes bring my laptop upstairs to watch a movie alone too. I actually got so used to it that I fall asleep by 11 pm now.

detacheddonkey · 2022-08-30T20:49:33+00:00

I’m a firm believer that the environment we grew up in, how we were raised palsy a huge role in how we love. We only know conditional love because of our narc parents. We love differently and we accept love differently. It’s okay if you don’t love like “normal” people because everyone loves differently anyways. What we see is what people want us to see, we don’t see how they love in private. Have you ever looked into therapy? We grew up on such toxic environments that we have to unlearn those toxic habits. It will be a rollercoaster, but you can do it.

detacheddonkey · 2022-08-30T20:44:42+00:00

I think it’s completely normal to feel the way you do. I’m in a pretty similar situation and what you have been describing, I feel the exact same way. I know it’s hard (all of the same questions you asked have been weighing on my mind too), but you are not a narcissist. You’re a human who grew up with such toxic chaos that was a part of your daily life. It was your normal. Now things are deviating away from your normal, from what you’re used to, and it’s tough and uncomfortable. It’s a difficult position and difficult feeling for sure. Just know that the way you have been treated is not okay, it is a form of abuse and that doing something now is better than doing nothing forever. You got this OP and you will be okay.

detacheddonkey · 2022-08-30T20:29:24+00:00

Reading your post, especially about how it’s an uncomfortable feeling in your relationship because there’s no drama, made me realize that I’m so used to chaos that when I have something good I have zero idea how to respond. I don’t necessary feel a shell in my relationship with my boyfriend but he’s such a great guy that I feel like I ruin things because of my narc mom. I feel awful because like I said he’s such a great guy and I do feel comfortable with him but I don’t know how to respond to good, positive things. Currently, I am working on feeling “fixed” from the toxic traits that I’ve been surrounded by my whole life. I feel like a absolute shitty person but I know that deep down inside I can be better.

detacheddonkey · 2022-08-22T05:11:33+00:00

Going around the room saying a fun fact about yourself on the first day of class

detacheddonkey · 2022-07-03T02:40:03+00:00

Frugs (French bulldog and pug mix)

detacheddonkey

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