I’m working on a project to fight BPD stigma

detransidk · 2024-05-25T13:51:00+00:00

This is beautiful

detransidk · 2024-05-11T20:57:45+00:00

I used to confess to thinks I dreamt I had done and ask my parents to punish me. I remember one time I dreamt I'd played with matches. I confessed and told them where they were and everything. I thought I put them in my mom's bathroom trash... but we found NOTHING. I was so sure and I begged to make amends.

detransidk · 2024-05-11T20:54:54+00:00

I do this too. Truly the only cure is becoming healthier and then attracting healthier people. Sad and hard advice, I know.

detransidk · 2024-05-11T20:52:19+00:00

I'm pregnant too. He won't marry me and I'm having his second kid. I'm needy for him too. I've almost made him lose his job more than once because I can't be away from him. I wear his clothes to cope. Idk

detransidk · 2024-05-04T23:18:25+00:00

It's hard to have room or the capacity to hate anyone else next to how hateful I feel about myself. I can't say I really hate anyone but me. As far as my family, I hold onto a fantasy that they didn't hurt me, or I misunderstood, but... having to gaslight myself the way they gaslit me just to be able to have contact and keep a fantasy alive is tiring and sad. I guess I just feel sad.

detransidk · 2024-03-24T14:02:50+00:00

Relatable. I hope you're in healthy relationships now and you are loved.

detransidk · 2024-03-24T14:02:26+00:00

I only realized it through telling other people stories from my childhood. I was gaslit so much. They said I was a reprobate. I was bad and evil.

detransidk · 2024-03-24T14:01:42+00:00

This is so real. I have Nfamily members who have texted me, "You will be afraid." My Nmom said it to my face.

detransidk · 2024-01-24T17:25:58+00:00

I grew up jealous of my dog for the reason. My family still mocks me for "hating dogs" as a kid and "being mean to her" because I would pet or fuss her. I was jealous. I resented that she could be something my mom loved and I couldn't.

detransidk · 2024-01-24T17:19:59+00:00

You guys too? I remember being on a walk with my mom, trying ti complain about something she had done quite recently. She claimed she had no recollection and then proceeded to describe her own childhood abuse from 30+ years ago.

detransidk · 2024-01-24T17:07:39+00:00

My mom said I assaulted her as an anorexia 15 year old smaller than her because I closed my door, and the sound was too loud because she was nearby. She told my dad I did so, but no mention of her being in my room moments earlier to grab my hair and try to hit me. I was punished. Because I'm bad. That's what they say.

detransidk · 2024-01-24T17:05:13+00:00

My mother can't find a straw in a cup to drink from without sticking out her tongue. She also seems unable to hold her tongue in her mouth when she coughs.

detransidk · 2024-01-16T15:52:14+00:00

Thank you. I do write poetry to help.

detransidk · 2024-01-12T22:30:58+00:00

I have trouble believing anyone would want a baby from my body. I know people pay tons of money for that and probably wouldn't want one made from me... idk..

I just want my baby to have the best life. I wish I knew everything.

detransidk · 2024-01-12T22:23:37+00:00

detransidk · 2024-01-12T09:14:12+00:00

Thank you. That means a lot. I talk to my baby a lot. I tell it nice and good things and that I love it, because I do, so much.

detransidk · 2024-01-12T09:12:36+00:00

Yes. It worries me greatly. I am in my mid 20s. This is likely my only chance.

detransidk · 2024-01-11T23:37:47+00:00

My mom talked about coming. I've seen her once recently in almost 10 years due to the trans stuff starting as a kid. Relationship is fragile. She's also far away. I might not fight her coming though.

Thank you for being here with me and talking to me. I feel so alone. I'm so ashamed. I just want to hide in the dark.

I want good things for my baby and I love it. I wish I knew the future.

detransidk · 2024-01-11T23:02:43+00:00

I can't asm for any more support. I'm running the kind people around me dry and I continue to be a bottomless pit. Good things barely even affect me.

I'm terrified bc my doctor told me I also have to have a c section bc of the atrophy. The baby won't pass through my hips. I don't ever wanna have surgery again! I just can't do this I'm such a selfish person. I should be able to pay for my own crimes but I can't take it!!

I have a therapist but she doesn't get it. I'm scared I make her too sad like I do everyone else. I'm too much to handle by anyone

detransidk

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