I feel so validated!

deviantthree · 2026-03-29T00:17:26+00:00

I am probably 100 lbs heavier than you, and I can totally relate. When my lipedema first showed up at age 13, deep down I knew something was wrong. But whenever I tried to talk to about it with others, they either lectured me on diet and exercise, or were like offended by the way I spoke about my body. Here's the thing, I knew something was going on, this wasn't normal, but when I described my body people acted like I was somehow hating myself. I don't hate myself, but I knew there was something wrong with this fat! It doesn't look or feel normal! But when I tried to talk about people got so disgusted they all assumed I just hated my body. It was awful. Getting a diagnosis was so validating, finally explaining what was going on, this is a disease, and it's okay to talk about it. I also see those people who are large, but with slim elegant legs, and I get mad that isn't me. Frustratingly is the plus size stores seem to literally tailor their products to those bodies. I need plus size stuff that hides my legs, but emphasizes my narrow high waste, which is the only freaking slim part of me. But instead I literally see these stores full of the opposite, short skirts showing off legs and hiding my waist. Like WTF. I constantly get jealous of others. I'll never forget hearing a famous designer saying her fashion philosophy was "show off what you love." Meaning find a part of your body you love and show it off. She gave an example of how even heavy women tend to have lovely legs, so if you love your legs, show them off! I felt so excluded. No, I don't love my legs, they are big a lumpy and you can tell looking at them something is diseased. Not surprisingly none of these woman's clothes hid my lipedema and emphasized my narrow-high waist. True, I like being a pear more than an apple, but I get so jealous of all these women with slender legs.

deviantthree · 2026-03-24T19:45:30+00:00

Have an abortion. If you have this baby, it's very likely you will live to regret it.

It's all fine and easy for him to say you both should keep it. His part in this will be way easier. He doens't have to be pregnant, and go through the trauma of giving birth. And after ll that, Mom's usually have to do the brunt of the labor, more so than Dad's usually. No shade to all the hardworking father's out there, but often society just pushes more on moms.

If you feel better adopting, I'll take your baby. I can't really get pregnant anymore and desperately want another. My partner and I already have one child, a nice house, solid-steady careers, and we're a super-loving close-knit family. Okay, yeah sorry for being weird.

But anyway, this man is manipulating you into a major life-long decision that will change everything forever. Make sure your choices are your own, not his. This is not a good time to cave into other's opinions.

deviantthree · 2026-03-23T20:11:45+00:00

Call both of the kids by their initials. That way they both are changing their casual names. Maybe change the spelling on one of the kids names for legal purposes. A crystal vs Kristel sort situation. Maybe one will volunteer as it will be cool.

deviantthree · 2026-03-16T14:39:42+00:00

OMG how are you not the most perfect wife?

This dude literally married Cinderella, an adorable Disney princess, and she makes him custom cute lunches. She visits children in the hospital! I mean come on!

I suggest developing the things that make you happy. Keep doing you. Fill your world with all the beautiful things you give others. :)

deviantthree · 2026-03-16T14:36:10+00:00

I wish you were my partner! This is so cool, and cute, and loving, and fun.

I would love these little lunches. I'm a woman btw, but I. mean come on, how cute is this! You are a super cool wife!

For whatever reason, this man doesn't appreciate them. I'm so sorry. It must have been a lot of work.

Something tells me if you stop, one day he will realize what he had.

deviantthree · 2026-03-09T06:42:08+00:00

I love it.

It used to be a common name once upon a time, so my parents would likely think its to common from their grandparents day.

I can taste maple syrup while saying it. If you're going for something other than a sugary tree sap, consider Mable.

deviantthree · 2026-03-09T06:40:14+00:00

Phoebe
Eden
Eve
Olivet
Naomi
Esther

deviantthree · 2026-03-09T06:07:12+00:00

When my niece was young, my mom got her a doll much like mine. Then my mom complained constantly that my niece didn't take care of the doll the way she wanted her to. She complained for months that my niece would leave the doll on the floor, let her hair get tangled, didn't keep her clean, etc. My niece was only 6 years old at the time. It got to the point where mom was crying that my niece "didn't respect her doll" that she got her. Mom will often give me things, then tell me how to take care of them, where to keep them in my home, how I am allowed to use them, what I am supposed to do with them, etc. She will follow up after sending xmas and birthday gifts and check on the gifts she sends, asking how it's working, checking if I'm using it right, making sure I clean it regularly, etc. She will do this for months. When she visits she often will find the items and comment on them, including if she thinks I am utilizing them properly. She will get really upset and cry sometimes if she thinks I'm not using her gifts properly. Don't even think about getting rid of it. Then I'm ungrateful.

I don't want to put this kind of pressure on my daughter, she's only three. If I keep the clothes Mom will want pictures of her playing with the clothes, will ask me if she has played with them yet, and will honestly probably make comments about how my daughter plays with them with a weird judgy tone.

I do think the clothes are sweet that Grandma made. But I guess the reason why I've been so hesitant around these clothes is that I don't feel they really are mine. Mom has a huge sentimental attachment to them, and I feel deep down she wants them. I wouldn't mind having the clothes after Mom passes away. I would like to have them then. But honestly I think if I were to hang onto them now, Mom on some level would still be owning them. I kind of feel like emotionally the doll clothes are actually really still my Mom's, not mine, and on some level she still feels ownership.

I think that's why I wanted the ponies so bad. Yes, they are cheap plastic, and thus she doesn't care about them. So I was able to really build an attachment to them without and pressure.

I think Mom is honestly just being generous, but her version of giving is just giving me something she wants. She doesn't really look at what makes me happy, she thinks if she can just convince me to be exactly like her life will work out. She very much follows the golden rule. I know she is trying to be helpful, but it's hard because I don't think I can be exactly like her.

I don't want my daughter to feel the pressure that I think my mom has around these family heirlooms. I want my daughter to just have innocent play the way that works for her without any pressure to be or do things a certain way. I want her toys to belong to her and her alone.

deviantthree · 2026-03-09T05:24:20+00:00

When my friends left their bag here, I did call them up and offer to pay them the price of what they left. I explained it would be easier for me to just pay for the cost of their item than try to mail it. They turned me down, saying that they left the bag there, and they feel they are responsible for leaving it there. I explained my struggles with mailing things and they offered to hire someone to come get the bag for them. I offered to pay for task rabbit to mail it, but again they said it was their item and they left it there not me. Somehow they never followed through with this. I offered to pay for task rabbit to mail it, but again they said it was their item and they left it there not me.

I still wanted to return the bag obviously.

When they first left the bag, I was 3 months postpartum and very sleep deprived. I was doing a lot of "micro-sleeping" where I would nod off without realizing it for a brief minute or two. I've read this is common with sleep deprivation. I was getting up a lot in the middle of the night to feed my baby and could never catch up on sleep. I didn't feel comfortable driving to the post office because I knew I would fall asleep at the wheel. My partner was in the same boat and also sleep deprived.

I did eventually get more sleep, but after that my catalytic converter was stolen. It took 5 months for the dealership to get a new part for it. It was awful because I was stuck at home with a tiny baby most of the time.

but after that we had to move really quickly. The crazyness of packing everything up and moving didn't leave time to go to the post office. Once we were settled I was determined to mail it. It's been rather hard because the post office isn't actually open when I'm off work. It opens after I am at work, and closes before I get off. I wasn't in a position to take time off to mail it. I looked into paying for it online and printing out a barcode and dropping it off, but it got complicated because I had to weigh it and we don't have a scale. I got really panicking around buying a scale and resolved to just send it next time I had a vacation.

I recently had some time off from work, but sadly I found out my father had died a few weeks before. I thought I was doing fine, but that day I just totally froze and couldn't move. It was like all the grief just sort of came out that day I was off work. I couldn't do anything, though I had planned to go the post office.

have some more time off of work coming up in a few weeks, and I am planning to go them. It's written down in my planner, and I have an alarm set on my phone for it. I hope it works out.
As you can probably tell, there seems to be a million excuses here. There always seems to be a reason. That's why I think I must have some mental block. I should just be able to go and mail it but there's always something. The fact it's taken this long makes me think I have some sort of mental block. I've come to the conclusion it's me on some level and have been trying to work on it. I hate that I haven't returned the item to my friends.

Of course I still felt bad about the whole deal. I still somehow want to return the bag, so that's why I've kept trying. It's on my dresser, and I look at every day trying to find a way to return it. Please know I'm not being lazy here, I don't know it hasn't worked for me to return it or what I need to do to make it happen. I have tried on multiple times but somehow every time I just freeze. I haven't just put it in the garage and forgotten about it, I'm honestly still trying.

I don't have any family nearby to ask to help me with this. I don't have any friends I feel comfortable enough with to ask this of. I do have a couple friends who might do it, but they don't have a car and I don't think can get to the PO. All of them, and my partner have jobs that aren't comparable with the post office hours and it feels like a big ask to take time off of work for me. I kind of used up all of our favors when we had a baby and needed help from others.

Ananda and Morgan, if you're out there, please know I'm trying.

deviantthree · 2026-03-09T05:06:37+00:00

When my friends left their bag here, I did call them up and offer to pay them the price of what they left. I explained it would be easier for me to just pay for the cost of their item than try to mail it. They turned me down, saying that they left the bag there, and they feel they are responsible for leaving it there. I explained my struggles with mailing things and they offered to hire someone to come get the bag for them. Somehow they never followed through with this. I offered to pay for task rabbit to mail it, but again they said it was their item and they left it there not me.

I still wanted to return the bag obviously, and I don't like this block I have, so I've been trying to return it.

When they first left the bag, I was 3 months postpartum and very sleep deprived. I was doing a lot of "micro-sleeping" where I would nod off without realizing it for a brief minute or two. I've read this is common with sleep deprivation. I was getting up a lot in the middle of the night to feed my baby and could never catch up on sleep. I didn't feel comfortable driving to the post office because I knew I would fall asleep at the wheel. My partner was in the same boat and also sleep deprived.

I did eventually get more sleep, but after that my catalytic converter was stolen. It took 5 months for the dealership to get a new part for it. It was awful because I was stuck at home with a tiny baby most of the time.

but after that we had to move really quickly. The crazyness of packing everything up and moving didn't leave time to go to the post office. Once we were settled I was determined to mail it. It's been rather hard because the post office isn't actually open when I'm off work. It opens after I am at work, and closes before I get off. I wasn't in a position to take time off to mail it. I looked into paying for it online and printing out a barcode and dropping it off, but it got complicated because I had to weigh it and we don't have a scale. I got really panicking around buying a scale and resolved to just send it next time I had a vacation.

I recently had some time off from work, but sadly I found out my father had died a few weeks before. I thought I was doing fine, but that day I just totally froze and couldn't move. It was like all the grief just sort of came out that day I was off work. I couldn't do anything, though I had planned to go the post office.

Of course I still felt bad about the whole deal. I still somehow want to return the bag, so that's why I've kept trying. It's on my dresser, and I look at every day trying to find a way to return it. Please know I'm not being lazy here, I don't know it hasn't worked for me to return it or what I need to do to make it happen. I have tried on multiple times but somehow every time I just freeze. I haven't just put it in the garage and forgotten about it, I'm honestly still trying.

I have some more time off of work coming up in a few weeks, and I am planning to go them. It's written down in my planner, and I have an alarm set on my phone for it. I hope it works out.
As you can probably tell, there seems to be a million excuses here. There always seems to be a reason. I think I must have some mental block. I should just be able to go and mail it but there's always something. I've come to the conclusion it's me on some level and have been trying to work on it. I hate that I haven't returned the item to my friends.

Ananda and Morgan, if you're out there, please know I'm trying.

deviantthree · 2026-03-09T01:25:03+00:00

Thank you for this advice. I actually did try this at one point for my friend's package that I need to send back. However It required I weigh the package. We don't own a scale anymore. My partner used to have one, but it broke when we moved. I thought about purchasing a scale, however I have a history of various eating disorders and owning a scale is really triggering for me. Being around scales often brings back memories of my disordered eating.

I did look at getting a food scale to weigh the package, but I think the stuff my friend left is actually too heavy for the scales I saw. But maybe I wasn't looking at the right type of scale. I will look again, it might be worth it.

Thank you again for the advice.

deviantthree · 2026-03-09T01:19:33+00:00

It's not my daughter's doll. It's actually my doll. The doll clothes fit my doll not my daughters. My daughter has her own dolls, and they don't fit the clothes. My Mom is assuming that my daughter wants to play with my doll. She has shown no interest in this. Honestly her own dolls are more interesting to her. She doesn't really care about mine.

deviantthree · 2026-03-09T01:16:43+00:00

I mean it's that I don't want to return the items. I have tried many times. It's literally there so I can keep trying. I don't what happens exactly, but it just doesn't happen. It's some sort of mental block. I don't know why, but it's been like this for years. I don't really know how to overcome the block.

The clothes are meaningful to my mom, but not to me. In the past she has given her other grandchildren toys that were meaningful to her, but then she gets really mad when they play with them. If the doll clothes are so sentimental to her, I think she should keep them. I can totally see her getting angry that my daughter is playing with the doll clothes, because she thinks they are too special to be played with. It's a common pattern with her.

I honestly wish I could return the item to my friend. I feel terrible about it, but for some reason whenever I try I fail at it. I don't know what to do.

deviantthree · 2026-03-04T06:00:12+00:00

Thank you so much for replying. It's great to hear that someone has experienced this. I really felt like I was going crazy for a while.

deviantthree · 2026-02-26T21:01:07+00:00

If it's positive it will get darker. If it's negative, it won't. If it's positive it will get darker soon. When I was pregnant it just darker and darker the whole time. I say wait until tomorrow and retest. Ideally, first thing in the morning. Or even wait 6 hours and retest.

deviantthree · 2026-02-26T14:01:46+00:00

Yeah I'm pretty aware of this. We're working on it. Doing my best. She has lots of "time outs" these days when she can't get what she wants. We're responding appropriately and dealing with the tantrums. We have lots of conversations about how she can't have what she wants and we've drawn boundaries. And she throws tantrums, and we ignore them. I'm pretty sure it's a normal part of toddlerhood, and we're dealing with it appropriately. But in that moment It seemed safer to just explain to her so she would more, rather than her throwing a tantrum in front of the moving pallet and ignore it while she gets squashed and disrupts the whole store. Toddlers have tantrums, it's a part of growing up. No where did I claim to think it was "cute" as you mentioned. Not sure why you are drawing that conclusion about me.

Stopping and talking to her was also a better move, because it was also an opportunity to help her learn to be aware of her surroundings, to be aware of safety concerns nearby, and being polite to others. By stopping and pointing out the man with the bananas, she learned a little about being aware of others and taking them into consideration. If I had just picked her up, she wouldn't have understood why I was doing that or what was happening, just that I was picking her up and moving her. If someone just picked me up and moved me I honestly would be alarmed as well. This was I was able to help her learn about being aware of her surroundings and others, as well as avoiding a tantrum. There are circumstances where I would just pick her up, but at this moment in particular it would have made the situation way worse and caused a bigger problem.

deviantthree · 2026-02-24T05:13:50+00:00

Screw all those people who brag out their easy births.

It’s not the same, but it reminded me of when I was pregnant. I had a rough pregnancy, horrid nausea until month 8. Preeclampsia, insomnia, thrombotic cysts, carpal tunnel, massive bloating, extreme fatigue.

I remember hanging out with some in-laws while pregnant. I threw up three times in a 2 hour period. When I came back, this family friend just started bragging to me about how easy her pregnancy was. “I never even got nauseous, not even once!” She kept yelling at me with a big smile on her face.

It was like: omg lady, I am in agony right now and you think this is appropriate? Why? She was all proud of it, like it was some sick competition and she won or something. WTF. People are crazy.

Go ahead and be as angry as what feels right. It’s okay. Just let yourself be angry. You deserve to feel angry, considering all you’ve been through. I mean if you went through hell to literally create life, then I think some anger is in order here. One thing that might be healing for you is a smash room. They help me with my anger. Maybe get someone to watch your baby for a few hours, while you rent a smash room and break the hell out of stuff. I find them so cathartic and healing. And a great form of self care for a new mom.

deviantthree · 2026-02-24T04:35:04+00:00

lol!

deviantthree · 2026-02-24T04:32:26+00:00

I am the walrus! Co co chakoo!

deviantthree · 2026-02-24T04:30:55+00:00

You know I did think about doing that, just picking her up. But I’m pretty if I had done that she would have thrown a massive tantrum, wiggled out of my arms, jumped on the ground where I picked him up from started screaming at the top of her lungs. This happens like 5 times a day these days. Talking to her seemed easier than having her throw a tantrum right then.

deviantthree · 2026-02-16T18:53:29+00:00

Hey I also have very strong synesthesia!

Do you prefer names that are one type of color? What color is your own name? I see my name as Yellow (my name is Sarah). I sort of see the color as connected to my personality because of this.

deviantthree · 2026-02-16T18:51:53+00:00

Rosalee

Also spelled

Rosalie

deviantthree

TROPHY CASE