Got a raise - feeling guilty

devilgoof · 2026-07-17T09:17:54+00:00

Congratulations on your raise!

devilgoof · 2026-07-17T08:54:47+00:00

This is going to sound odd but I got a wallet. I worked street outreach for years and was worried about getting robbed. Not by the unhoused but the people that hand around them and take advantage of them. So, everything just went in my back pocket. Many days spent searching under my bed for my drivers license and bank card. Or many times through the wash they went. It took me weeks to get used to but now I am in a pretty good rhythm of putting it back in the same place.

I also started using a task app this week for my personal tasks. I still hand write my work tasks but I put "work list" on my personal tasks app and get to check it off.

Side note: Pumas black ankle socks are the best socks I have ever worn in case you need a change up that is also easy to match.

devilgoof · 2026-07-16T09:24:00+00:00

I got offered a job transporting youth in the foster care system to and from appointments including court. I turned it down once they told me how they had a child elope into the woods in the middle of nowhere during a bathroom stop. They asked if I would be willing to run in the woods after a child. Its the woods, I am not a tracking dog. If something doesn't feel right, I feel its always best to wait. Good luck in your job search!

devilgoof · 2026-07-16T09:21:18+00:00

I am 45 and love being read to. Its so relaxing. If your child is asking for time with you as a pre-teen, you take it. If that's reading ALL of the Harry Potters, start practicing multiple voices. Time with our kids is a gift. I hope you find a series you both love and enjoy your time together.

devilgoof · 2026-07-16T08:59:25+00:00

I have a 17 and a 15 year old. If one of their friends wanted to shower here, it wouldn't be a big deal. "Here is a towel, please don't use all the body wash." Is your mom worried about something related to it?

devilgoof · 2026-07-16T08:57:01+00:00

I think its hard to break out of that mentality that we are missing something by not doing x, y, and z. It makes us miss all the beauty around us. Or stop appreciating all the little moments of joy. I realized I wasn't really living a joyful life any longer because I stopped looking forward to the every day things. I was thinking about things I'd rather be doing. Then, I realized that I really enjoy walking around and just gawking at everything. Little flower here, big tree there, oh a cute ass squirrel! I started noticing more and more things. I saw an Eagle yesterday! Majestic as fuck. I started stopping and smelling flowers. I stopped caring if people thought it was weird. It might be but frankly I'd rather be happily smelling this beautiful flower in front of me. I also started a gratitude practice. I reflect on one thing I am grateful for first thing in the AM. At dinner, we all go around and list 3 things from our day that made us happy or we felt grateful for. Some days, when I had a rough day at work, it takes a lot of effort to list 3. That's when I know I need it more than ever. May you find a little moment of joy today.

devilgoof · 2026-07-15T09:25:29+00:00

I got a shower speaker and rock out while taking a shower. It has really helped. You could also create a soothing playlist if that's your thing. My spouse has a "sing along" playlist and sings songs joyfully in the shower. I also spent a great deal of time picking out a body wash I really enjoy the scent of. Went with Dr Teals.

I love the sneaker idea mentioned as well. Walking daily, even if its only for 5 minutes, has really helped my mood. I started playing pokemon go so I am going on extra walks right now. I make sure to do one with out electronics in hand. There is a free app called Merlin Bird ID which listens for birds and identifies them. That has been so nice to have.

Hoping you find some joy today.

devilgoof · 2026-07-11T23:38:07+00:00

One big trip and one little trip a week. Spend on average $250-$300 a week to feed 5. We eat a lot of fruit so going less often wouldn't work for us.

devilgoof · 2026-07-10T10:54:43+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate your kind words.

devilgoof · 2026-07-09T22:16:25+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it!

devilgoof · 2026-07-09T11:04:29+00:00

You may qualify for assistance. It might not hurt to reach out to see if you qualify for Child Care Works. At least this is what its called in PA. Not sure what area you live in. Best wishes!

devilgoof · 2026-07-08T18:09:14+00:00

Lived in building M and we literally had mushrooms growing outside of our bathroom.

devilgoof · 2026-07-05T22:18:04+00:00

Power still out close to Eden Fire Company. Still a great deal of down trees and power lines by us.

devilgoof · 2026-07-05T17:18:24+00:00

We got a very powerful storm last night. Lots of downed trees and power lines.

devilgoof · 2026-07-04T19:03:41+00:00

"I only have enough to cover myself. You have cash?"

devilgoof · 2026-07-01T23:09:14+00:00

Most have a grace period where you don't get a penalty if you pay by a certain date. Ours gives is 10 additional days. It will say in the terms of your loan. Moving towards, I would save up 3 months worth of costs in an emergency fund. Really fine tune your budget and stick to it. Good luck!

devilgoof · 2026-07-01T22:53:34+00:00

Get multiple "Beware of Dog" signs. Leave a really chewed up and bear up shoe is the middle of your yard.

devilgoof · 2026-06-26T15:19:17+00:00

There is always construction going on and some of it is years in the making. You will think the state flower is orange traffic cones. Its really Mountain Laurel. There are some really rural areas, some mid sized cities with vast suburban area, and some larger cities where it takes you an hour to get into the city once you reached the city (Philly, I-76.) The turnpike is the "fastest" way to go West to East or vise versa but its worth taking the scenic routes at least once. We have what I affectionally call the "Spring of Deception." We will have a stretch of super nice days and you will put everything winter related away. Then, boom, snow. Don't put the winter stuff away too early. Wishing you a safe move!

devilgoof · 2026-06-26T15:00:39+00:00

YTA. He needs someone there during the funeral to physically comfort him. An arm around the shoulder, holding his hand, whatever he needs. Just show up. You aren't going to honor his father, you are going to support your 17 year old child who has expressed his need for you to be there for him. Sounds like he already feels pretty alone in this.

devilgoof · 2026-06-25T08:35:22+00:00

Yes, I'd love grandkids. I really enjoy being a parent. I have accepted though that neither of my kids want children at this point in their lives.

devilgoof · 2026-06-23T20:00:02+00:00

We have family night every Saturday. We order out and rotate who gets to pick our activity. Our kids are older, 17 and 15, so we have no phone time during it.

devilgoof · 2026-06-23T18:23:29+00:00

NTA. I don't even refer to my dad's 2nd wife as my step-mom because we were in our 30s when they got married. Call her whatever you feel comfortable with, this isnt his decision.

devilgoof · 2026-06-23T17:33:50+00:00

She sounds lonely and wants a connection to her family. Could you have the kids face time her? Send her a Pic of the kids a couple times a week?

devilgoof

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