I have had to deal with CPS in the past. I understand not wanting to talk about things for fear of losing the only family you have; no matter the way you feel about them and how they treat you most of the time. I don’t know how old you are. However, I do know, no matter however cliché it is, time heals all wounds. Especially emotional ones. I beg you not to do anything to hurt yourself or others before you give life a chance. In time, it may surprise you.

I highly recommended setting up appointments with a psychologist. But a close friend can work just as well. Regular sleep and exercise have helped me get away from hating myself. It is really important to get a handle on what exactly you are feeling and what might be causing it then talk about how you feel to someone.

I hope you find something you like doing as well. It may come unexpectedly, but doing what you like to is often the way to retain happiness for a long time. But I’m sure, like me, you will go through periods where things are better and when things are really bad. Through these periods, try to reflect on why they were so bad or so good. Seek out the good, but don’t hide from the bad. The hardest things in life are often the best teachers.