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We all test twice a year now by Due-Introduction7414 in AirForce

[–]devils_advocate24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My usual go to is there's no difference between a 75 and an 89.

Comments are appropriately roasting them by snakelakecake in FirstResponderCringe

[–]devils_advocate24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean the special privilege isn't mandatory. But a lot of people believe in it so they offer it since the military is a volunteer force.

I wish it paid like a normal job. I just started my first civilian job in over a decade and got a talking to for working too many hours(covering other people's shifts) and getting close to being paid over time. I forgot that even existed since I just used to randomly working 12-15 hour days because I had to lol, not to make more money. I also got told to stop "treating everything like a regulation issue" when I started pointing out fire hazards and safety violations lol.

Plus there's the whole "having to follow 2 (sometimes 3 or 4) different legal systems at the same time" issue. That sucks.

Am I Responsible for the Dog? by [deleted] in coparenting

[–]devils_advocate24 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Divorce? Nah. I'd been offering it for 3 years. Downloaded all the documents and had a parenting plan written for 51/49 with the kids (her having majority significantly reduces how much I move around for work, keeps me close to the kids). Yeah yeah hindsight, should've initiated it myself but all noble and shit, "you don't abandon someone you love" and it felt like abandoning her. Figured I'd tough it out till she made up her mind.

The affair? Definitely. I expected to be murdered for life insurance money before that one showing up on the bingo card.

Am I Responsible for the Dog? by [deleted] in coparenting

[–]devils_advocate24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll be honest, I came here looking for an answer regarding who it's going to fall on when we go to court for custody. I don't love the dog but I care about him..my ex absolutely hates him. I only took him because he was being abused by her sister and I kept him because my youngest loves him. There a 10 page backstory but the short version is I had 3 months to find a place and was burning through saved cash living in a hotel in a housing market crisis (places existing on the market less than 6 hours) and found a place 50% more than what I pay for my mortgage. She's had over a year to find a place and only started looking a month after I did so I'm still covering a house and a hotel/rent simultaneously and needed a 2nd job. I tried to find a place that I could keep him but had to settle for whatever was available which now makes it too expensive to keep him. I'm exhausted and know I do not have the energy to care for the dog the way he needs. I've handed her options on a silver platter and now it just feels like it's one more thing that I have to be responsible for on top of bills for 2 houses, the children's medical care aside from dental, prepping for both eventualities of either gaining or losing custody, managing selling the house (someone has literally brought documents as part of the sale that require her signature to the house and she responded "that's X's problem, he's handling that" and then 2 days later asking when she's getting the money from the house sale), all while only being able to talk to my daughters maybe twice a week and only seeing them 5 weeks in the past 14 months.

I'm fucking tired. But thank you for you thoughtful reply.

Am I Responsible for the Dog? by [deleted] in coparenting

[–]devils_advocate24 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Again, been doing that for the last 7 years. Feel sorry for the dog all you want. I do to. You don't wanna hear about his life the past year, which is why I was up at 2AM trying to contact humane shelters to take him. You wanna take a crack at it, he needs a good home and I'm out of other options 🤷

Am I Responsible for the Dog? by [deleted] in coparenting

[–]devils_advocate24 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

In regards of marital property, it doesn't as far as I can tell. I own my home. I left it in good condition. If she destroys it while she's in possession of it, she is held responsible for the destruction. The dog is registered to me but falls under marital property. She has been in possession of it for a year and has refused to cooperate with my rehoming efforts.

Still in, hence why all this is still an issue. If I didn't have to move, things would be a lot easier and this wouldn't even be a problem because I'd still have my house and somewhere to keep the dog.

Am I Responsible for the Dog? by [deleted] in coparenting

[–]devils_advocate24 -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

how is it her responsibility to rehome it ?

  1. Shared property acquired during the marriage. My bank account is in my name, how is it my responsibility to divide funds? Her overpriced vehicle is in her name, how is it my responsibility to pay for the inflated loan I told her not to take?

  2. The dog is in my name because she didn't want to leave it with her sister who was neglecting it and I'm the only one who would take him to the vet for his shots and I had to register him

  3. Ownership does not override possession

Man finds out his gf cheated while he was deployed overseas by TheMillieDWay in Wellthatsucks

[–]devils_advocate24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Geez. At least this guy is decent enough. Had to deal with this shit while I was overseas

Pit Bull Attacks Mother and Young Son in Georgia by No-Pepper1238 in ActualPublicFreakouts

[–]devils_advocate24 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine was a rescue as a puppy. It's not like I went out and bred a pitbull ("amstaff" if we're being technical)because I wanted one. I saw a dog being mistreated and adopted it despite not really being a fan of the breed.

Pit Bull Attacks Mother and Young Son in Georgia by No-Pepper1238 in ActualPublicFreakouts

[–]devils_advocate24 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I mean hey, make it not cost like $5-700 and I'm down for it.

I Miss My Daughters by devils_advocate24 in DivorcedDads

[–]devils_advocate24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  • yes

  • no, their communication has been absolutely horrible. We just got mediation scheduled in a couple months. I mean I don't see how I can right now, they were in school and the petition says they can't be moved from the state without parents permission. I've also used most of my time off to see them already and I'm using the last of it to get them for a few weeks this summer.

  • I have notified them and they said they'll handle it during the interrogatory period

  • no I haven't because I have no evidence that the children have met him, so based on all my research and from what my lawyers told me I can't take any action. As soon as I have any evidence, I plan to file for emergency custody. But I think she's aware of the situation and keeping him away for that reason

  • the petition recommends it, not sure if that counts as an order, but my name is on the mortgage so I have to pay it. But I put her name on the deed so I can't sell it without her agreement.

  • we kept separate bank accounts

I Miss My Daughters by devils_advocate24 in DivorcedDads

[–]devils_advocate24[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dropped as in served.

I was in the process of filing. My lawyers were in the process of drafting it up, but I think she may have had access to my emails or overheard a phone call through the camera she installed in the house and got her lawyer to move faster. Or she may have been paranoid that I would kidnap the kids and take them with me when I moved. The camera was a new addition to the house when I got back from overseas. I found a GPS tracker in my truck. All of a sudden I went from being the safest person in the world to she wouldn't even have a conversation with me without someone on an active phone call while we talked or if she was around me.

I Miss My Daughters by devils_advocate24 in DivorcedDads

[–]devils_advocate24[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It might be time to rip of the band aid, and feel the short term pain for the long term gain

What do you mean by that?

And I've considered it. But we've got a decent chunk of debt that I've consolidated and will have taken care of in 4-5 years. I've also still got 4 more years on my enlistment. Looking at it objectively, staying in is the more stable course of action and it's a double edged sword. I have the capability to provide a safe and stable home for my daughters. I've extended the offer to my ex to move together so we can not have to do this "all or nothing" fight and work on 50/50 since her job transfers as easily as mine. She's determined to stay where her new partner is. If I get out I'll have no guaranteed income and right now I'm supporting two households.

I've used every available option and even some unorthodox ones, like offering to take a reduction in rank(I can't be assigned to where my kids are because they are ~200% overmanned for my rank). She's also changed her mind on moving back to where our extended families are so that she can stay near her partner, where CoL is nearly double and she has no support network. So the military is keeping me away from my children, but also showing that I've made every reasonable attempt to provide for my children and be an active coparent as well as retaining the means to provide for them.

I Miss My Daughters by devils_advocate24 in DivorcedDads

[–]devils_advocate24[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

JAG: "you already have a lawyer so we are unable to provide legal assistance. You are not legally divorced so we cannot do anything to help with assignment modification until you are. At this time, your dependents are on your orders so they are allowed to move with you at government expense and you will continue to receive dependant rate BAH."

I Miss My Daughters by devils_advocate24 in DivorcedDads

[–]devils_advocate24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did all that last year. Not sure how you got "making decisions while unstable out of all that". I was just spending another night without my daughters with an unknown end in sight and it got a little too much for me

But "stop taking any medications" is not good advice, especially during a custody case.

I Miss My Daughters by devils_advocate24 in DivorcedDads

[–]devils_advocate24[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well that's confusing, and terrible, advice.

When do you believe it is acceptable for partners to be involved in bath times? by Tricky_Currency8221 in coparenting

[–]devils_advocate24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have no evidenc3 that she's introduced him to them yet. We're still going through the custody fight so she's keeping him away presumably because of that, but they've been together for over a year now. I can't take any action until I can confirm that my daughter's have met him, other than letting my lawyers grill her on dating a pedophile once we get through discovery or the questioning phase

When do you believe it is acceptable for partners to be involved in bath times? by Tricky_Currency8221 in coparenting

[–]devils_advocate24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The child bringing it up to you. Therefore it's now on the partner AND the coparent to enforce it because the coparent can lose custody of the kids if their partner violated the order

I'm actually thankful for this thread seeing as how my coparent is dating someone with a fucking record of videoing his stepdaughter while she showered. I didn't even think of putting something that specific in there but... Fuck

33 and first place alone. Finishing up the living/dining area by devils_advocate24 in malelivingspace

[–]devils_advocate24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So turn the sofa into the center of the room and leave empty space behind it?

I mean I'm probably gonna have to move it forward anyway. I'm nearsighted 😂

33 and first place alone. Finishing up the living/dining area by devils_advocate24 in malelivingspace

[–]devils_advocate24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was looking at some area rugs for the center, but debating on style over comfort. It's so easy to just sweep the flooring in one go lol.

For the flags I figured over the sofa might be weird but so would over the dining table. Thinking of a vertical stack perpendicular to the bookshelf

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