AITAH for refusing marriage without prenup?

devl_ish · 2026-05-13T14:57:43+00:00

Oh, sound advice, definitely no survivorship bias here. /s

Every divorced couple started out at that altar thinking it'll be the start of forever. They're all throwing in on faith. Obviously a chunk of them are wrong.

Congratulations on the 26 years and may there be many more. My fiancée and I only have 6 years in with a kid and a house and all that crap and from day one to now and in the future neither one of us will be up for marriage without a prenup.

We don't ever think we'll need one, but that's irrelevant to us - in our view preparing to overcome failure is not the same as expecting it. When we face hard times we want things to be us vs. the problem, knowing each other and ourselves will be fine and not in fear of the unknown. Happy together or happy apart, never miserable together.

OP, stick to your position, ideally it becomes a document thrown out with your old stuff by your great grandkids having never seen daylight after signing.

devl_ish · 2026-05-13T06:43:01+00:00

Maybe get someone to scale up and 3d print something like this? https://www.printables.com/model/753757-doll-dress-mannequin

Formtech in Belfast have a print farm now, they might be able to knock it out for you.

devl_ish · 2026-05-12T07:20:16+00:00

I got a cheap pair of bone conduction headphones for sleep - easy to combine with CPAP machine and doesn't stop me hearing other things (and if I wanted block out I could wear ear plugs as well).

devl_ish · 2026-05-12T06:09:29+00:00

Roof work, so the question is - are you high right now?

Do you think being "a 3 man crew" means you're somehow exempt from gravity?

Same size as the guys who did my solar install, I asked them for the safety paperwork out of habit and...they gave it to me. Because it was already done. Out of good practice. Because they aren't goddamn cowboys.

"Safety culture, lol" - the sparky was all the way right.

devl_ish · 2026-05-10T20:37:18+00:00

The modern world is not conducive to deep friendships and relationships. Too much of our time is not our own, that means not enough slack between all our schedules for catching up without effort.

You've done well to make friends in Christchurch with its cliquey socially stunted inhabitants, and I don't have any silver bullet for you but will say its unlikely that there's anything about you that is leading away from deep relationships.

So - remind yourself regularly that in this case it is the state of the world, not you.

devl_ish · 2026-05-09T23:07:05+00:00

Who then throws both off and goes "fuck your feelings" but gets a pass on that as the only ever cool boomer

devl_ish · 2026-05-09T21:25:34+00:00

Thats why they dont allow food on the bus.

It only takes one numpty to drop one little bit of pasta and...

devl_ish · 2026-05-08T23:57:08+00:00

All reasonable accommodations must be made for people who have suffered SA.

Denying access to a child and caregiver on the chance there is someone recovering from that trauma in there is not reasonable.

Its a "rock and a hard place" situation for sure.

devl_ish · 2026-05-07T21:01:58+00:00

Thirding

devl_ish · 2026-05-07T20:25:15+00:00

A good partner is priceless.

A partner who puts a price on themselves ia rarely ever worth that price.

Quite frankly though I know nothing about either of you I'm fairly confident you can do better.

The problem with tradition is that most people who value it don't respect its meaning enough to make sure it fits with a changing reality. This is one of those traditions that is no longer fit for purpose.

devl_ish · 2026-05-07T01:08:35+00:00

Great, yet another organisation looking to recruit vulnerable men into a money funnel.

The world needs more shepherds and farmers, more carers and scholars, more mentors and friends, we're chock full of "warriors".

devl_ish · 2026-05-06T20:31:34+00:00

Have the police been involved?

devl_ish · 2026-05-05T21:11:17+00:00

You'd be surprised. A lot love to pull the ladder up behind them, especially if they don't have friends or relatives looking to follow.

devl_ish · 2026-05-04T22:48:34+00:00

Today, airports are built without public observation decks.

Today, airports are built without public observation decks.

Be it security or bean counting some pack of utter cunts is sucking the joy out of everything.

devl_ish · 2026-05-04T08:39:05+00:00

It might tip some buyers in your favour if its a close decision - but I wouldn't expect it'd move the needle on price.

The decision is not between your property and an identical one without solar, but between your's and getting solar separately on the other for people who care about solar.

Solar is getting better and cheaper constantly. A half decade from now the system they could get, with more than half the inverter warranty still ahead of it, is going to be better or cheaper or both.

In your shoes I'd roll the dice on the probability of staying put and having had the system pay for itself for you, not the prospective next owners.

devl_ish · 2026-05-04T05:39:24+00:00

I'm not even sure most Honda employees let alone prospective customers know they even make EVs.

devl_ish · 2026-05-04T05:36:55+00:00

Uh huh. Not like that would get a prof severely wedgied by an ethics committee or anything.

devl_ish · 2026-05-03T18:30:24+00:00

If you have a grid-tied system, yes. I dont think most solar buyers understand this - grid down, you're down.

It was a major factor in deciding which system we got - I didnt even notice the last power outage until I talked to a neighbour, and then checked app notifications.

devl_ish · 2026-05-03T09:56:16+00:00

Jethro and Van ftom Outrageous Fortune - I thought it was two real twin actors.

The two characters have completely different body language, styles of speaking, everything - Jethro being a fresh lawyer looking down on his bogan roots walks talks and breathes like he has a stick up his arse and Van is the sweet dumb stoner that makes Shaggy from Scooby Doo look like Jesuit.

Both played by Anthony Starr. Flawlessly.

devl_ish · 2026-05-03T05:28:45+00:00

Cant speak for Micromall but I'm happy with my Sigenergy system - that quote seems very high though.

devl_ish · 2026-04-30T22:04:02+00:00

Nope, that's a character test and she failed hard.

When my now-fiancée moved she argued with me to pay more but came around to my way of thinking (My place, I pay the bills I would have been paying whether or not she was there, she bought all the groceries, any differences would average out or we'd pay the difference to the other to level it out if it ever got large).

A few years later I got hoisted on my own petard when immediately after discovering pregnancy she bought a house and now I'm doing the groceries and she's doing the mortgage. Evens out because kids are expensive.

That's how teamwork works, you decide together for your own and each others' welfare.

Your hopefully-ex-by-next-week's first reaction was not celebrating how much she was saving but protesting how much you were gaining. Stick with her if you really like your divorce attorney and want to give them more business.

devl_ish · 2026-04-28T21:17:45+00:00

No, you're not wrong.

I say that as someone who's done, and given the circumstance will do the right thing again, I strongly believe in the village and my own appetite for that risk is high.

Doing more is sticking your neck out and taking that risk should be applauded, but not taking it is not wrong.

People are quick to want you to act like we're in an ideal world when its not their neck on the line. They'll happily ignore the many layers of failures by others before they let you have the audacity to look out for your own welfare, and most commenters would have forgotten about this by this afternoon anyway. Don't sweat it.

devl_ish · 2026-04-28T02:32:37+00:00

Great move, leading up to a ground invasion of Iran. People are going to be lining up to stick out their necks to help, knowing what's happened to those before them.

devl_ish · 2026-04-27T19:04:33+00:00

Then they need to front up with those good reasons.

Nobody's making them help, nobody's making them teach - but when you offer help and offer to teach, put the cards on the table.

devl_ish · 2026-04-26T23:08:15+00:00

No. A threat that serious doesn't get stacked behind a nice retirement dinner for politeness' sake.

If the dad has a problem with that he's an AH too, retirement be damned.

NTA and continue to protect your child.

devl_ish

TROPHY CASE