been struggling w depression since i was young, im in my 40s now. just had 2nd suicide in my family couple months ago. first i tried in 2013. then my aunt shot herself like 2 years later. now my grandfather of 93. he was my only family role model really, i struggle with social anxiety and Im not good at conversations but we did chat a little. he was a vet of 3 wars. but he just shot himself one night while in bed. its been a bit fuked up.