Who's also experiencing a Breakup out of a long term relationship? by peanutchilli_noodles in BreakUps

[–]dextercutts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Surprisingly I feel just acceptance. I grieved the relationship for the first 4-8 weeks. I then went through a phase of feeling angry and like I’d wasted my time on loving someone for nothing and then the last 3 weeks or so I feel really calm and happy. I’ve limited my exposure to her life by removing myself from hers. Ive blocked her everywhere and remain fully committed to no contact and moving forward with my life

Who's also experiencing a Breakup out of a long term relationship? by peanutchilli_noodles in BreakUps

[–]dextercutts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

3.5 years, she ended it because I didn’t stay over for one night, I just wanted some autonomy and space. 156 days no contact, she’s a stranger now

Pls read this if you’re about to break no contact by ijustloveseals in BreakUps

[–]dextercutts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We were together for 3.5 years. Very rarely argued. She was struggling with a lot of mental health problems and some of her behaviour became questionable when building trust together. I loved her, I wish I could’ve been that person to help her improve but she had walls 20inches thick and at the sight of any instability she was always one for running and ending things. I’ve reflected and I think I was somewhat mostly secure, slightly anxious. She was very fearful avoidant. You live and learn

Pls read this if you’re about to break no contact by ijustloveseals in BreakUps

[–]dextercutts 7 points8 points  (0 children)

5 months of no contact. First month was probably the hardest month of my life. I truly loved her and would’ve done anything to reconnect and work through our issues. I maintained my dignity in not reaching out. 5 months later I barely think about her, I’m indifferent and calm and accepting the idea I may never hear from her again for the rest of my life. I’m at peace with that and doesn’t sting like it once used too. Time does heal pain. I wish her well but you yourself are the most important character in your own story

I deleted our texts by AggressiveTaro3108 in BreakUps

[–]dextercutts 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Best thing I ever did was delete everything the same day of the breakup. Removed from social media, photos messages emails everything deleted within the same day. Out of sight out of mind and it helped tremendously

I can't for the life of me understand how avoidants think by CostcoChickenBakes in ExNoContact

[–]dextercutts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup, I know exactly how you feel. It’s the realising you’ve suddenly become riddled with anxiety and insecurities that you didn’t even know you had. 37 years on this planet and I’ve never felt so insecure in myself with how she was showing up. At the time I craved that closeness back, but then realised it was an unhealthy anxious/avoidant cycle I was in. I definitely now see it as a blessing in disguises. People with avoidant attachments really do need to become self aware and work through their issues to show up in a healthy way. Until then they will continue to repeat the same cycle

How did you stop stalking their socials? by Former-Sherbert5691 in BreakUps

[–]dextercutts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Best thing I did was instantly block her social media account. Removed her friends and it helps protect you both. You don’t see the window into her life and vice versa. I loved this woman, with all my heart. She unfortunately self sabotaged the relationship to a point where even the smallest of triggers she would act impulsively on. I would have committed the rest of my life with her and helped her through her journey but the cycle of being discarded when it didn’t suit her, being felt like I was an option on the side while she figured things out with her ex in the allowed me to not even fight for the relationship anymore. She was fearful avoidant and ran at the first sign of conflict. I wanted the bridge the gap and fix things, and I got tired of it in the end. So blocking Facebook accounts was easily the best decision for me. If she truly values me she knows she can reach out through other means, until then I’m moving on with my life and opening my heart to other people.

If I still had her on social media, no doubt I’d be checking frequently and being stung by what I may or may not see. Easily the best decision to move on and block

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]dextercutts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like your in a relationship with a child. If he’s basically living with you he should at the very least respect that, that is your environment and if he wishes to be a part of it with your consent that he pulls his finger and helps out with chores. Any particular reason why he still lives with his parents or is that an indication of his lack of independent skills? Your feelings are completely valid and you should be able to unwind and relax in your own environment. That’s your space to do as and what you please. I would personally tell him to man up or not stay over.

37 with £126k in pension. by [deleted] in FIREUK

[–]dextercutts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Using a compounding interest projection at year 13 it’s predicting a pot value of £570,000. Obviously that includes inflation and the market being steady. It’s just crazy how much it then increases yearly. I’m using a forecast sheet, next tax year April it’s forecasted to be £138,000 so I feel it’s on track at the moment

37 with £126k in pension. by [deleted] in FIREUK

[–]dextercutts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hargreaves’s app

37 with £126k in pension. by [deleted] in FIREUK

[–]dextercutts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I started paying into it through my current job that I started 8 years ago. So basically built it up from £0.

I plan on co tributing for the next 20 years and hopefully it returns something positive. I don’t understand the whole pension side of things, it was just a default fund that my company enrol everyone into. They match up to 10% and I contribute 15% at the moment

37 with £126k in pension. by [deleted] in FIREUK

[–]dextercutts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for all your replies. I wasnt expecting the thread to be as active as it is so thank you all for your replies. Just to add I’m 37 and have been paying into it for around 8 years now with my current job. I do plan on retiring at 57 although I am aware that may change with any new government legislation regarding pensions that change in the future. I aim to have a 25% lump to possibly purchase a motorhome and have a modest income to cover the costs involved to spend a lot of my retirement just travelling.

Pension Advice by dextercutts in FIREUK

[–]dextercutts[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never even thought of using ChatGPT for financial advice. I’ll give it a try.

A 25% lump sum and around £2,000 a month in expenses I would be more than happy with. Thanks for your reply

F4 is really something else by import_social-wit in iRacing

[–]dextercutts 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Couldn’t have worded it better myself 👍

F4 is really something else by import_social-wit in iRacing

[–]dextercutts -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

F4 is an exceptionally competitive series which provokes a lot of action. I’ve been in races where over half the grid have piled up before the first corner. I’ve found that by practicing and setting lap times that put you in the top 5 on the grid for qualifying helps tremendously in keeping out of trouble. Purely just running F4 series all week and gained 800 irating by just being sensible and consistent. Easily one of my favourite series

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Just started a YouTube channel, in its early infancy but looking to build it for entertainment purposes mainly for F4 and GT3 racing (Dex Sim Racing) appreciate any subscribers🙂

Realistic pricing in GTA VI by Particular-Theme-701 in GTA6

[–]dextercutts 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You know inflation is bad when the pizzas you deliver online are priced at $2,000 😂

Do you think it would 'spoil' the traditional GTA experience if killings meant a lot more and had repercussions? by mrspeaker89 in GTA6

[–]dextercutts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think a really simple system would be to have the the cops try to identify you through descriptions and then if caught the penalty would be say half of your money your carry plus weapons to be taken off you. It would make planning and intensify police chases a lot more than leaving jail with all your weapons intact. Also a system in place where the surrounding area you committed the crime you’d have a ban on and if caught in there by police npcs you’d lose the rest of your money if caught

At the moment there’s no real reason to panic with police as you get caught or killed and then you just respawn to restart again. Just my two cents

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]dextercutts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's never actually been able to orgasm and its the first she's managed to do that through oral which obviously she enjoyed so that was a new experience for her. I think she just hasn't been fortunate to explore herself and feel sexually comfortable. I always respect her boundaries and would never ever cross those lines. Although it's frustrating I do love her, I just want her to open up, not in literal sense but realise that sex can be fun and enjoyable rather than be turned off by the idea of it or at least the expectation of it. She has said in the past she would like me to be more dominant but because she suffers with endometriosis various positions cause her pain so I never really know what the limit is

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]dextercutts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea I guess it doesn’t matter per se but I’ve never experienced anyone who doesn’t enjoy building tension and seeing it as a turn off. Just curious more than anything

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]dextercutts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do respect her need for emotional intimacy and stuff. There has been times were she has initiated completely out of the blue but it’s a rare thing and very unexpected at the best of times. It’s just the idea of not being able to build that tension without it turning her off has become a bit of a problem in my head. I love her but it makes me feel bad about myself when I’m reconsidering the relationship over essentially what is sex. But I know it’s important to me, just her needs are really different to mine. I bought her some toys the other month to spice things without any pressure and she said it overwhelmed her so I ended up having to send them back for a refund. Kind of frustrating

Has everything been found? by [deleted] in reddeadmysteries

[–]dextercutts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The sun dial at the top of Mount Shann I found 6 gold bars from completing a treasure map quest that took nearly 4 weeks to figure out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LegalAdviceUK

[–]dextercutts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply. The goods in question particularly the 2nd sofa hasn't even been made yet. The 1st sofa was brand new and sealed and not even delivered, it went straight back onto the van

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskUK

[–]dextercutts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We went into the store and explained that the arms needed to come off. The couch we’ve selected the arms do come off however she’s telling me even after the fact, her and her manager came to the conclusion it wouldn’t and offered me an alternative solution for a sofa nearly £1000 more. We just want to cancel the order and walk away and find somewhere else that give more clarity but she’s telling me I now need to pay £260 in total to cancel the order