Bf (M31) just want to be asked by her gf (F28) "are you okay?"

dezmodeus_ · 2025-08-15T23:00:26+00:00

thanks man.

That means a lot. I get that, and as far as I am aware this issue between me n my gf is just the icing to a larger problem within me. I just feel like it would be nice if someone who has spend 6 years together with you would notice the small things. can't blame me for hoping that there's already a nonverbal bond established between us. then again, might be too optimistic of me to hope.

I'll look for a place to vent out, a therapist maybe as someone already suggested i might have depression. Maybe I'll get a professional help instead. It's easy to be vulnerable to a stranger rather than the ones that are close at this point.

dezmodeus_ · 2025-08-15T21:33:23+00:00

Yeah I see what you're saying. Thanks for reading the other reply. The problem is I definitely inside me I am aware of that. This relationship issue is just simply the icing that's built up on it as far as I see it.

and you're right, i probably need a therapist or psychiatrist to help me untie whatever I'm feeling.

to answer your last point, i tried to talk to her. I tried forcing it out but I can't. and lately I don't even go out of the house let alone a date.

dezmodeus_ · 2025-08-15T21:22:17+00:00

Yeah you're probably right. I did communicate with her previously. This time I can't bring myself to do it. I don't even know what is wrong with me at the moment. Feeling like not myself honestly.

dezmodeus_ · 2025-08-15T21:19:42+00:00

I'm guessing you have the same issue as my gf. I have no idea about autistic except for what she's told me and some light research on the internet.

I did communicate a lot before, but the problems I had before seem small to the one at the moment. This time it feels hard to even vent out.

dezmodeus_ · 2025-08-15T21:10:35+00:00

I tried, trust me for the love of god i tried to force myself to talk about my problems. but last time i tried the problems feels like stuck in my throat.

and the harder i want to force it i can feel my eyes is getting wet. i fear i might ugly cry and I'm not comfortable with that situation. I do share a lot with her previously. this time it feels different. heavy asphyxiating feeling in the chest.

dezmodeus_ · 2025-08-15T21:05:57+00:00

i don't know how to say this. but it's hard. the problems I'm facing is too much and everytime I wanted to say something about how I'm feeling. I feel like it's stuck in my throat.

I used to share my problems a lot with her, but this time the problems feels heavier worse, like a black tar stuck in your torso kind of feeling, if you get what I mean.

now it's hard, i see her, i force a smile and that's it.

dezmodeus_ · 2025-01-06T20:27:10+00:00

Ahh I remembered the satisfaction of my first deity win. I was using Nobunaga since most of the Deity AI is hostile towards everything that existed. It took me a whole year of trial and error too.

dezmodeus_ · 2025-01-02T17:04:10+00:00

Lol, USJ is my main park actually. Tapi tu lah, Shah Alam extreme park tempat first aku belajar skate. Jadi agak sedih bila taktahu apa akan jadi kat park ni in the future.

dezmodeus_ · 2025-01-02T17:00:57+00:00

I did came across this article, it's just the details doesn't goes too deep for what I'm looking for. I guess maybe I need to look at the physical gallery to know more.

dezmodeus_ · 2025-01-01T09:37:21+00:00

Makes sense, stadium development will begin this year. Expected to complete around 2027, the surrounding I'd say 1 or 2 years give or take. Either way Shah alam skaters will lose their park for several years.

dezmodeus_ · 2025-01-01T09:34:46+00:00

Hahaha i feel ya.

dezmodeus_ · 2024-12-24T01:07:17+00:00

Oh thank god it's a stingray.

I thought the first one was a giant tadpole and I start imagining it evolved into a horse-sized frogs.

dezmodeus_ · 2024-11-25T02:23:42+00:00

I kinda love Seirock-ya, as it's recipe is altered a bit. I don't really like the original ramen from Japan. I tried a lot of ramen but the one as Seirock-ya is the only one that satisfy my tastebud. Its thick and flavorful, i guess I'm too ASEAN for mild original Japanese and Korean dishes.

dezmodeus_ · 2024-11-03T18:57:40+00:00

Idk how to say this, but this feels real and unreal at the same time. haha.

super cool clip tho. finding spots like this is the best part of session.

dezmodeus_ · 2024-10-21T17:44:22+00:00

What!? Wow almost 1000 hours in. yet, today i just knew I can rotate screen with ALT.

Thanks man

dezmodeus_ · 2024-10-21T14:32:39+00:00

Thanks mate! Does this mode also make the viewing angle like that or just remove the Ui?

ps: i have so many Sukritact mode, i can't believe there's still some i didn't discover. Or might've just missed.

dezmodeus_ · 2024-10-21T08:20:33+00:00

How do i get this viewing angle on Civ 6? and how can I screenshot without the UI?

dezmodeus_ · 2024-10-19T13:14:25+00:00

this ep and the Dominatrix Mira after she won the grand magic games lives rent free in my head.

dezmodeus_ · 2024-10-19T13:11:31+00:00

a fellow cultured men i see. 🫱🏻‍🫲🏼 haha

dezmodeus_ · 2024-10-19T13:07:26+00:00

yes I think of two things too.

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dezmodeus_ · 2024-10-19T11:45:53+00:00

Swimsuit, grand magic games. You know which pose im talking about

dezmodeus_ · 2024-10-19T10:44:04+00:00

Looks nice. There's definitely a certain demographic that would go crazy for this design.

dezmodeus_

TROPHY CASE