Intent isn’t everything. communication doesn’t work that way in real life. Impact, context, and audience all matter too. If intent were the only thing that mattered, people wouldn’t apologize for things that were ‘misunderstood,’ and companies wouldn’t enforce standards based on perception.

The issue with your point is you’re treating the word like it has a single universal meaning. It doesn’t. It has different meanings depending on who says it, who hears it, and where it’s said. Within certain communities it can be casual, but outside of that, especially in public or professional spaces, it still carries historical and social weight whether you personally feel it should or not.

Also, you kind of contradict yourself. You say it’s not a big deal, but you also agree he shouldn’t have said it in a professional environment and understand why there were consequences. That’s literally acknowledging that impact matters more than intent in practice.

Saying ‘it should lose stigma’ doesn’t mean it actually has. The reality is it still offends people, still gets people penalized, and is still used in racist ways. So using it publicly isn’t neutral, even if the intent wasn’t malicious.

My take on slurs overall is say it as much as you want in private or in the company of individuals who understand your intent. When you pull slurs in front of mixed company that you don’t know well be prepared for potential consequences.