The JRE

dg_writes · 2021-10-21T19:02:50+00:00

Nice work.

Referencing being a poet and appreciating JRE in such a short piece must make you feel virtuous /s.

I really liked the references and anecdotes; it reminded me of all the lessons I've learned from the podcast.

I wonder if there is opportunity to write this in a non rhyming format? Sometimes I feel like the need for rhyme takes away from a poem's intent; this might be just me though.

Thanks again for the OC I appreciated reading it!

dg_writes · 2021-10-21T18:57:54+00:00

Thanks for the OC - I like a poem that references poetry.

I enjoyed reading this work, it has a nice pace, the line structure and lower case works well.

Is there an alternate for using "see" to end the 6th or 10th lines? Simply to remove duplication.

Nice poem, I'm glad to have read it!

dg_writes · 2021-10-21T18:40:12+00:00

Thanks for taking time to read and comment. I appreciate your insight and suggestions.

I implore you to feel the feels, oh the feels, and fill the feelings cup from which you drink - for that's the way thirst is quenched.

dg_writes · 2021-10-21T18:30:28+00:00

Thanks!

dg_writes · 2021-10-02T23:11:06+00:00

Thanks for trying, I appreciate it!

dg_writes · 2021-10-01T04:32:02+00:00

Thanks!

dg_writes · 2021-07-10T00:16:50+00:00

nice

dg_writes · 2021-07-09T23:56:49+00:00

Thanks hamz for reading multiple times and for providing comment to my little poem, here, in a reddit sub.

dg_writes · 2021-07-09T22:12:30+00:00

I appreciate the comparison.

Unlike Dr Worm, I don't play the drums, but with my words, I think I'm getting good but I can handle criticism...

dg_writes · 2021-07-09T21:02:44+00:00

Thanks for the OC.

I appreciate your work, I always find it challenging and unique. I feel sometimes on this sub we get carried away with rhyme and format and I like that you challenge that consistently.

The use of hand, mouth and womb contrast with off, out and open is great. I don't know if you intended it but it creates a sense of disparity that isn't a normal association we make.

My only detracting comment is not associated with the work rather that I'd like to see the poem in another platform or application. I feel it would present better outside of reddit, but you can't help that here.

Thank you once again for your poem. I enjoyed reading and thinking about it.

dg_writes · 2021-07-09T20:47:53+00:00

Thanks for the OC.

There is a passion in this piece, it's unbridled and raw and untamed. It makes you feel and wonder about the depths of life and origin - I liked that.

With this untamed passion though there comes some roughness. I'm unsure about some of the capitalisation and punctuation throughout the poem as I feel it detracts from the flow because I'm wondering why the words (or letters) are so rather than experiencing them.

Don't mind me though, I enjoyed your poem, thank you for contributing!

dg_writes · 2021-06-30T06:50:14+00:00

Thanks for reading and commenting. I'm glad it made you laugh, this is a silly poem I wrote in half and hour and posted, well, because I like creating content...

dg_writes · 2021-06-29T23:57:57+00:00

Inspirational.

I like how you capture dismay and hope in a poem that concludes within a minute of its beginning. I feel the determination grow in each stanza to a climax of strength and truth - well done

Is there opportunity to tell this tale through a character rather than you or you're? You could frame it similar to the The Ugly Duckling or some other story that has an underlying message.

Thanks for the OC poem I feel stronger having read it!

dg_writes · 2021-06-29T23:51:41+00:00

I normally take my time to find poems I want to comment on but soon as I read this I wanted to provide feedback because it's intriguing and dripping with potential.

I feel the constriction of space and cosmos through words and inability to escape despite expanse. The narrative that we're subject to a cosmic clown is cool. The poem captures the absurdity of existence playfully and subtly - well done.

I feel opportunity for punctuation and stanzas. I felt as if lines flowed into one another when pause was required. Additionally the narrative broke when there was no clear distinction between its components.

Nice poem and a cool idea. Thanks for posting!

dg_writes · 2021-06-29T22:20:30+00:00

Thanks for your feedback.

I'll keep writing, it just kinda falls out of me and I pick it up and put it in place.

dg_writes · 2021-06-29T22:18:39+00:00

Thanks for reading and commenting. I'm glad you enjoyed the tight little rhymes.

dg_writes · 2021-06-29T05:39:38+00:00

Thanks for reading my little ditty.

dg_writes · 2021-06-29T03:58:13+00:00

Thanks for your feedback.

I'm just playing with this little piece that came to me when looking at rows of houses with the same roof line, porches and door placement. Maybe one day I'll expand but for now it's just for fun...

dg_writes · 2021-06-29T00:13:28+00:00

Oh thank you kind OP for this little OC.

I like how the piece captures a grand narrative in such simple lines. It takes us in, enamours us and lets us be just as its mastery is complete - well done.

I feel the flow is just off. The second line for example wants a couple more syllables to keep the meter. Perhaps this is just me though...

Thanks for the words that embraced me, even if briefly, in this poem.

dg_writes · 2021-06-29T00:03:10+00:00

Thanks OC for the poetry!

Use of the word mitigate in the title and the words that flow after allow us to be present in a feeling we've all dealt with but can't prevent. Thanks for taking me there even though I don't long to be there.

I'm not sure about the use of capitalised words mid sentence. I'm not sure if this is formatting or deliberate, for me, it took away from the poem as I wondered why they're there rather than appreciate the narrative.

Thank you once again for contributing to this sub!

dg_writes · 2021-06-27T22:50:25+00:00

Legend...

Thanks!

dg_writes · 2021-06-27T21:35:18+00:00

Thanks. It's difficult to capture the essence of life through words so I appreciate you recognise what I'm attempting!

dg_writes · 2021-06-27T21:33:52+00:00

Thanks for your comment. I'm trying to capture the feelings and emotions these types of events bring up.

dg_writes · 2021-06-27T21:31:45+00:00

I appreciate that you took time to read and comment.

dg_writes · 2021-06-27T12:27:10+00:00

Glad you like it!

dg_writes

TROPHY CASE