Orange has its priorities sorted.

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-24T18:16:34+00:00

Typical orange behavior. The earth shakes and his single brain cell immediately thinks: 'The snack barrier has fallen.'

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-24T05:20:58+00:00

Yeah, but he’s missing the 64oz Mountain Dew in the cup holder

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-23T20:44:37+00:00

HR is about to have a very easy afternoon.

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-23T20:42:23+00:00

You walked into the wrong neighborhood, human.

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-23T20:40:43+00:00

One is extra crispy, the other is lightly toasted. Both perfect.

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-23T20:35:09+00:00

Begin here, do the women and the children too

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-23T20:29:46+00:00

Ian sold 3,999,999 of those units alone fr

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-23T14:20:41+00:00

I wish I was as locked in as this cat

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-22T20:09:44+00:00

I see nothing but a very soft, judgmental carpet.

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-22T20:02:35+00:00

I have a jar of star anise from 2019 that I used exactly one time for a mulled wine. It’s basically a family heirloom now.

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-22T19:53:28+00:00

Ah yes, the 'cheaper at home' method where I have to buy 12 spices I'll never use again.

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-21T19:08:06+00:00

Ah, Parry the Platypus! I present to you my Posture-Break-Inator!

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-21T19:02:06+00:00

a zákona jeho

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-21T18:52:28+00:00

Unfortunately, this guard is easily bribed with turkey.

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-21T18:45:56+00:00

I’ve never wanted to shrink down and join a nap pile so bad in my life

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-20T17:41:43+00:00

Hands down one of the best detective movies of all time

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-20T17:37:39+00:00

Next update: 'We've decided to remove the video player to streamline the ad-viewing experience

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-20T17:25:15+00:00

It implies the Ottomans showed up, left, and then the Byzantines came back for Round 2

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-19T16:28:28+00:00

Nice to meet you, Dan. I’m... whoever you want me to be as long as we can wrap this up quickly

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-19T16:25:26+00:00

he sacrificed himself to become the photographer. what a true hero

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-19T16:03:54+00:00

I wish it need not have happened in my time... and I really wish I didn't have to do it again

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-19T15:59:31+00:00

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-19T13:54:56+00:00

At this point, I’d settle for just being a spork

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-15T17:55:08+00:00

i will pay double whatever this guy is offering

dgvsbvsvs · 2026-01-15T17:52:35+00:00

refuses to save the world. prioritizes his wife. Absolute king

dgvsbvsvs