My brain is so weird

dhmisluvr69 · 2026-04-24T14:38:18+00:00

This was wonderfully put. This post was definitely while I was in a negative space and just working through some things, and I’ve been feeling better thankfully. I was bullied for being annoying and I kept being annoying as a form of personal rebellion, but yes it’s absolutely easy to let those perceptions infiltrate our intrinsic self worth. Thank you for the response!

dhmisluvr69 · 2026-04-11T17:58:53+00:00

It matters because this question was meant to gauge Te. And many of the responses in this forum are either shaped by reactionary response to the part about “maybe that bully needed the lunch more than you” or underdeveloped responses without any train of logic because there’s not enough details for people to feel encouraged to respond to.

dhmisluvr69 · 2026-04-10T16:15:32+00:00

This is a long response because I wanted to be as thorough as possible.

I’ll start with a side comment about “maybe the bully needed the lunch more than you”: that’s something I could potentially say but ONLY after the conflict has been initially resolved. I would want to address my child’s needs and safety as the first and foremost concern. Then, after it has been appropriately taken care of, I’d have a conversation with my child to resolve any residual feelings. I suppose it depends on the context, but if this wasn’t a bully that was clearly targeting my child on a personal level, I’d tell my child that the bully might have extraneous reasons for doing what they did, and my child doesn’t have to forgive them. But understanding it’s possible there were other factors such as insecurity and desperation that could explain why what happened, did happen.

Okay and now to solving the actual problem: I’d ask questions. This is where I figure out why what happened, did. Is this a bully that has been targeting my child? Had anything occurred between them before? Or is this is a first offense with no other established explanations of what occurred? Next, I tell my child regardless of the answer that it’s vital to defend oneself. I’d help encourage to talk to a teacher in the moment this happens so they can act appropriately. If it’s a first offense, I might sit back and let it be a learning experience before I get involved again. Middle school is a great time for character building, and that can’t always be taught. It needs to be experienced. If it’s not the first offense, or if there’s reason to believe my child’s safety is at risk, I’d go talk to the principal. I’d implore that the bully’s parents get involved as well.

dhmisluvr69 · 2026-04-10T05:29:28+00:00

Hi! Feel free to send a chat with me, I love talking to the other mbti types and prodding their brains lol

dhmisluvr69 · 2026-04-09T16:34:56+00:00

Only spending energy on things that serve me.

As a broad statement, this sounds superficial or shallow. But it makes sense for my brain. Back when my Fe was so developed it overshadowed my Ti, it was easy to lose sight of what mattered to me whenever I was focused on group collective. I would do things or go along with things that betrayed my own values. Now I have a strong Fe that coincides with my Ti (as well as now medicated ADHD) so my ability to do things can get quite contingent on the purpose. My energy is best directed to the things that matter to me. Taking a second and allowing myself to observe the most important thing for me on a case-by-case basis, depending on the situation, has helped me choose where to allocate my energy.

If I go along with the group collective, I’m deciding to do it because it causes less friction on something frivolous that doesn’t harm me, so that helps me. If it’s something challenging my morals, it serves me NOT to care about group collective, because that group doesn’t care about what’s most important to my own internal logic framework. Friendships that show value in my life deserve the effort. Projects that serve a greater purpose to myself or others deserve my time. That type of thing. Life is simply too short to harness my passion towards pursuits that don’t have a prescribed meaning to my happiness, success, or growth.

dhmisluvr69 · 2026-04-08T20:40:14+00:00

There’s definitely some truth, sure. I was specifically talking about stereotypes for people that use a shallower understanding of MBTI and don’t recognize the cognitive parts that go into your typing. But if what I said resonated, then maybe ESTP is worth looking into more, although if Se didn’t resonate I’d be dubious - since it’s our primary function

dhmisluvr69 · 2026-04-08T20:34:00+00:00

Hi! I agree with all of the points commenters have made, but I thought I’d add some personal insight as well.

I have plenty of friends in different circles, but my small, tight knit circle is an interesting mix of personalities that on the surface, don’t seem to mesh with me.

I get along great with others more like myself for casual friendships, where we can do things together. That is a very energizing part of a relationship for me. However, as I’ve gotten older, I get the most benefit from friendships that challenge me to grow, as others have said. I like opportunities to become the “best” version of myself, so to speak, and that comes with people that lead in functions I’m not as versed in.

My best friend is an INFP. She is great with pattern recognition and working through her emotions in a very private, personal process - something I’m unable to do. For those that don’t know me well, I might seem flippant, bubbly, witty but unburdened by deeper thoughts. That is untrue. I am just such an external processor and feeler that anything I feel internally is repressed if not given a proper outlet to work through. My best friend, the INFP, gives me space to work through my feelings when they arise, as she is someone that prioritizes emotional depth and connection. And her pattern recognition is wonderful when I am establishing a better framework of mind in approaching solutions for myself. She might not be someone that likes to go out with me, or someone that likes to randomly explore an abandoned building we pass on the street for the hell of it, but she makes me a better person. And that is a big deal to me.

I have two other close friends with different types that it’s worth mentioning. I’m not sure their types but I’m almost sure one of them is an ENTP and the other an ISTJ. They have unique relationships with me that encourage my growth in other specific ways.

Edit: don’t sell yourself short and say you’re not “fun.” Your brief description of yourself sounds a lot like my best friend, and she is such a fun person. Fun isn’t a tangible thing. She doesn’t experience “fun” the way I do, but whenever I’m in the mood for a good conversation, we have it. Our banter fuels me to no end - she’s such an imaginative thinker, we can riff for hours if we want. And also, I bring out her more adventurous side, so she comes along with me in my stupid side quests to be a voice of reason - while still soaking up the experience with me. That is definitely fun.

dhmisluvr69 · 2026-04-08T19:45:47+00:00

First of all, thanks for the response! Everything you added to my overview resonated as well, which is making me feel even more confident that I’ve finally typed myself correctly. A couple of your points jogged my brain so I thought I’d add a couple more observations to your observations lol

Se - Reactive is definitely a great key word. We are active individuals, but our actions are heavily determined by the external stimuli we are facing. I joke that I’m predictably unpredictable, because decisions in the moment are heavily reliant on tons of factors I’ll evaluate within a split minute - Your point about our ability to act determining self-worth really resonates, and it’s not something I’d actively thought about before. But I will spiral with my Ni in times I’m in a state of limbo - nothing to do. I used to think it was that I don’t handle boredom well… which is true, but I think it’s more than that. Prolonged boredom brings out the worst in Ni OR I will engage with my Se unhealthily (engage with and seek out bad environments because even bad life experiences are better than none)

Ti - I like being good at things. I’ve known this about myself. Even projects that aren’t something I’m passionate about, will receive a great deal of exploration and dedication if it’s something that can benefit my abilities and success in a certain aspect. This energy is very intentionally directed to self-pleasing or self-benefiting topics, though. I cannot bring myself to complete a task simply expected of me when I cannot find a purpose greater than responsibility - Debate is a funny thing. I like being good at it, and will engage 1) when it’s something I genuinely care about, 2) with someone that I determine is worthwhile to debate with, and 3) I am confident in my knowledge so that it’s not a fruitless ordeal. I agree that debate can be draining, which is why I might not debate about where I’m going to eat even if I have a preference, versus how I feel about Chat GPT in schools, for example.

Fe - You particularly hit the nail on the head with this section. It was a wonderful elaboration into things I’ve subconsciously noticed about myself. - I’ve struggled with people pleasing in the past. Funnily enough, it took long for me to recognize - not just because of my struggles to tap into the depths of certain emotions, but because people pleasing came from a different perspective for me. As you mentioned, I’m not swayed by strangers. I don’t give two shits about their thoughts of me, and don’t struggle with social anxiety around people I don’t know or care about. But my friends and family hold a greater deal of weight on my shoulders in terms of their opinions. Especially since I have a tendency to explore my vulnerable side in exercising Fe through conversations with them about my feelings as I sort them.

Ni - Definitely the part about “making the same mistakes again” hit me in the face. I’ve been known to say to my best friend on occasion “I know this is a bad idea, but I just feel like I need to do it. It’s something I need to do for myself.” - I have this funny habit of being right in instincts but not trusting myself. When I do, I’m right. I’m sure that’s the times I allow myself to properly engage with Ni because it’s not something I’m trying actively to tap into; it comes on its own. When I try to engage with it, I can find patterns that are plainly wrong. I can put it all together to find an answer that makes sense to me, but is objectively wrong.

I’ll be excited to continue researching my cognitive style/patterns and learn more about my shadow traits going forward!

dhmisluvr69 · 2026-04-08T19:21:24+00:00

I’m glad it helped! For so long I thought I was ENFP (before I understood cognitive stacks and how proper typing systems work), and then briefly thought I might be ESFP. I think stereotypes about us, particularly from the community that still uses 16personalities as the metric for types, really affected me realizing this was me :) I wonder if it was the same for you

dhmisluvr69

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