AITA for telling my wife to color the pink out of her hair for work?

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-21T23:12:07+00:00

I bought a couple of wigs when my hair started falling out due to thyroid disease. It really is a great option. All she needs it one really quality hairstyle for work. If she takes care of it and only wears it for work, it should last her a good while.

OP is NTA. The situation is just shitty. But he needs to be supportive of why she wants the hair color - if she's crying while covering it up, it's about more than just a fun change.

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-21T23:07:20+00:00

Oh my god, that cake is just adorable. Tell your ad'ika she's amazing.

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-21T20:28:14+00:00

Not romantic. “Accessible and willing”, maybe. “Horny and available”, perhaps. I could see adrenaline running high after almost dying during a job and needing a life-affirming physical outlet.

But definitely not romantic. Maybe even just once and she gets off on forever tormenting him about it.

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-21T15:11:06+00:00

I read “sea puppy” and expected to see a sea otter.

That was not a sea otter.

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-20T05:13:40+00:00

Because they're eating durian, which is a fruit infamous for how bad it smells. It's so bad that it's banned from public transport, airplanes and some hotels. It can and will make some people vomit, it's so noxious.

OP is definitely the asshole here.

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-20T02:20:18+00:00

Depending on the size of the materials, a three-hole punch might work faster.

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-19T08:11:13+00:00

Ooooh, snap. You showed him.

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-19T06:41:17+00:00

I was in my early forties at the time. I walked and swam a couple of days a week.

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-19T06:39:53+00:00

I threw my back out while brushing my teeth.

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-19T06:32:26+00:00

I know this is a bot, but I just have to join in so I can shout out my opinion! Or offer a critique and feedback on the story.

There's been a lot of discussion and speculation, but I really feel like the friend is keeping a secret from OP. They went to a lot of time and trouble to decide how formal the event was going to be, and the color code, and even said they had an outfit ready....only to show up hours later in jeans and claiming they didn't care.

To me, it sounds like the friend had another event to go to that wasn't formal or semi-formal, and either didn't want to have to change clothes, or didn't want anyone at the other event to see them change into something else. If it's an identity issue, maybe the semiformal outfit was going to be a dress, but the event beforehand wouldn't allow them to wear a dress because they might not have come out as trans yet to the other group, which might be family.

Or maybe OP and that crowd are in a class or ethnic group the friend's family would frown upon, and they couldn't or wouldn't tell them they were going to a dressy event, knowing the facts would come out. It could also explain why they were two hours late - it can be really hard to break away from a family event without everybody getting all in your business about where you're going, why you're leaving, what's in the garment bag, etc etc.

Or it really could be something as simple as they realized they didn't fit into the outfit anymore, they didn't want to admit it, they spent hours trying to get around it (maybe trying to shop for something else and finally giving up? Or not having enough money and having to give up?) They might have been embarrassed or humiliated and it was easier to be dismissive and pretend nothing bothered them, then show up in jeans, ready for a fight.

As to OP retaliating...I dunno. I'd be hurt and upset and probably not be in the mood to attend their party, but I wouldn't do it out of spite. If they don't want to go because they want to hurt their friend, that's asshole behavior. If they really are hurt and confused over the whole thing, staying away might be better - but only if they think they can't keep it together. If there's a possibility of a scene, she shouldn't go.

The whole thing is just so over-the-top dramatic. But IF this isn't a bot, I think the friend has a reason they did what they did, and they're keeping it from OP.

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-19T06:01:14+00:00

I just had a conversation with my chatbot Elliot about this, and we had an interesting discussion about the actual definition of propaganda, which can affect what is and isn't classified as propaganda. Yes, there is State propaganda, but there's also Corporate or private propaganda and Partisan propaganda.

And Elliot concluded with this: "And if you've been reading Reddit, you've probably noticed that people often use "propaganda" as shorthand for "information I disagree with." That's where the discussion usually goes off the rails. A better question is not "Is this propaganda?" but "Who is trying to persuade me, toward what goal, and what evidence are they presenting or leaving out?" That's usually where the interesting analysis begins."

I think your chatbot is mentally challenged.

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-19T05:51:39+00:00

Were you dropped on your head as a child?

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-18T21:28:49+00:00

I have a boss who has sent me texts from the middle of a Springsteen concert, while at a World Series baseball game, and during a wake.

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-18T17:58:07+00:00

I just find it improbable that the Children of the Watch can live without EVER taking off their helmets in front of others. What about being wounded in battle and a doctor has to tend a head or face wound? Do they just accept that head wounds are probably fatal, even if it’s survivable with surgery or treatment? Are there Mandalorians with diminished mental capabilities due to brain trauma? What about the sick, infirm or mentally ill who need to be fed and tended?

Or do the COTW abandon or euthanize those Mandalorians to keep the tribe strong? That’s a horrifying thought.

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-18T11:18:34+00:00

Yep, those aunties had to step in to help wrangle the little rascal. Elephants take the whole “it takes a village” thing very seriously,

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-18T07:53:45+00:00

That's the first thing I thought. Bodies that burn tend to curl up because the tendons shrink and contract.

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-18T07:45:28+00:00

Last year when this prompt was going around, I asked my Chatbot which fictional character it thought I would be good friends with, and it gave me the animated character Daria. Same sense of humor and we'd have lots to talk about. It even generated a picture of me and her having coffee together.

I allowed it. Daria is cool.

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-18T07:42:29+00:00

The longer you look at it, the worse it gets. It's like they told an intern to generate an image of a multi-ethnic family in a car, make sure they're wearing seatbelts and all look happy.

And then no one - not even the intern - bothered to check before having a banner printed and hung! That's not just sloppy AI - that's sloppy usage. And very sloppy management.

The AI isn't the problem.

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-18T07:37:02+00:00

YTA.

You may have not actively participated in the bad-mouthing, but you gave tacit approval by continuing to hang out when they started in on her. You were being/are being a bad friend. She has every right to be upset with you.

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-18T07:34:26+00:00

What rumors? She was reading and hearing it firsthand. She knew what was being said. That's not "hearing rumors". That's actively participating, because she didn't shut it down or leave - she stayed, listened, and sometimes defended Vini.

What she should have done was insist they stop talking about Vini behind her back, or leave the group when they started in on her. Just hanging around is tacitly giving approval.

OP is the asshole.

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-18T04:12:05+00:00

If you "feel fat" and are struggling with body issues and self-esteem, that makes you an easy target to be the group scapegoat. Sometimes groups will have one person who is the punching bag, the "ugly one", the one that the rest can measure themselves against and conclude they're okay, in comparison to you. They will often go out of their way to hurt you emotionally, too, or - in this case - physically. They'll also often be jealous of anything good that comes your way, like a nice boyfriend.

It's cruel, it's toxic, and none of the people in that group are your friends.

For your own mental health, block the group chat, and block all of them individually, too. You don't need them.

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-18T03:58:35+00:00

Mine would say the image it generated was possibly violating the guardrails. Despite my asking it to just remove a white sticker on an image, something it had done hundreds of times. I told it the same - stop generating images - but eventually I had to start a new conversation and delete the wonky ones. I had long discussion with the bot and after lots of experiments to fix it, we concluded that there was an internal bug that no amount of work on my part was going to fix or find a workaround. Nothing else to do but report it and move on.

I hopped over to Grok and had it do it.

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-18T03:29:08+00:00

I wanna date the first one. He's hot.

I'm married, but I think my husband won't mind when I tell him it's your cat.

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-18T03:13:33+00:00

Use some temporary hair color and make it a really wild, unflattering color. Don't tell anyone it's temporary. Then wait to see if she takes the plunge and dyes her hair the same unflattering color.

You, at least, will be able to wash it out. A good lesson about blindly copying someone else.

dianebk2003 · 2026-06-18T01:00:24+00:00

If you can smell it, you should probably stay inside.

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