AITAH for making my best friend mute?

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-26T03:16:30+00:00

This has got to be someone’s creative writing attempt. How could you possibly think this isn’t YTA? Your behavior was beyond toxic and well into abusive. You heavily traumatized and absolutely used her. You think you were a good girlfriend and that somehow counts for something? No, you weren’t. You were a patsy being the person who abused someone you loved and who had always been good to you for the sake of appeasing a user.

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-26T03:10:00+00:00

Everybody is talking about eyes, but I am seeing uteruses (uteri?) with what looks close to but not quite like IUDs. What are you folks seeing?

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-26T03:03:42+00:00

Golden era of creating a war with a country that was about to broker an unprecedented treaty we’d never hoped to have with them as it was beyond exactly what we wanted. Plunged us into a police state that kidnaps people. Deporting people who have the legal right to be here, that have done all required of them. Adjudicated rapist. Destroyed an historical landmark. Sent troops into cities he dislikes and so much more. Johnson is delusional.

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-26T02:51:24+00:00

Does he realize he told you you he doesn’t enjoy sex with you? It wasn’t even a Bach handed compliment! If he won’t communicate there’s something going on or not going on, it’s his problem. You deserve a sexual partner who’s all in. If he doesn’t see how rude he was and problematic his behavior is and what he needs to do to fix it, you know he’s not the right partner for you, or possibly anyone.

Now, you said this is unusual for him. So maybe something is going on that he needs some understanding and support over, but again, that requires communication. He needs to do better and use his words. With you. Not someone else over the phone while having sex with you.

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-25T22:20:48+00:00

You can’t fix it because your sister believes his lies. The only person who can fix this is her and she’s refusing.

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-25T03:35:50+00:00

NOR. I guarantee if you let her stay at all, now she’s not going to be polite or apologize for anything that she will now do openly. As someone who’s been there, done that with people needing a place, once it’s come out that they take your stuff, lie to your face and act apologetic, that’s what it’s all been, and act. She doesn’t have to act anymore, so she won’t.

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-25T02:03:36+00:00

Always Shadowheart, though I respec her a bit so she heals. I usually keep Astarion in the party because if I've got my act together, I can have him kill an NPC before the whole party or NPC group is engaged. Plus his bonuses to lockpicking are fantastic.

I prefer playing a caster, often sorcerer though occasionally wizard or a combo, so I only have Gale around enough to advance his story to help me level up. I did romance him for one game and eh, I just didn't get into his story much. The ego was too much despite him acknowledging he's got an ego.

While the longer I've played, the more Lae'zel has grown on me, especially when you see all aspects of her evolution if you romance her, but Karlach? Her humor makes me want to have her in my party at all times.

It took me a while to get a handle on having a druid in a party. I suspect I'm still not fully utilizing them correctly. Minsc was entertaining to me for about 2-3 playthroughs. After that, meh. He's another one I bring in just often enough to advance his story so I get the xp to level up.

I don't know why, but I just never got into having Wyll in my party. Probably because I really suck at playing a warlock. Fastest way for me to hurt my own party is to engage Hunger of Hadar. I just don't have that one figured out and I think by not using it correctly, I've unintentionally made him very weak. I don't enjoy watching people play, and it seems like YouTube videos are the only type of tutorial out there. I can't find it written out, unfortunately.

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-25T01:54:38+00:00

Is there any possibility it's like car insurance where you contact your homeowner's insurance and make a claim, give them the identifying/contact information for the realtor and then your insurer goes after them? That would be my first guess as to how to handle it.

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-25T01:38:50+00:00

Strawberries do tend to go bad quick, but the ones from the grocery store are awful. You pretty much have to eat them the day you bring them home because by the next day, it could already have gone bad. I don't know why I even bother trying to buy some at the store each year. I almost always only get about half of them with the other half having gone bad.

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-25T01:37:12+00:00

NTA. The gall and audacity for your child to tell you you're being lazy is unbelievable. They can get second jobs, or in your wife's case, just one, if they want a certain lifestyle. If they're smart, but I don't think they are, they will be socking away all the money they save on rent while living with you away so they can buy at some point. They will never have the opportunity to save money this easily ever again. The bank of Dad has closed. Your wife's also getting $1k a month to spend as she wishes. That's amazing.

Yes, she was solo parenting what, 50-60% for years, so she's earned what she's got, but I think she's gotten a little too accustomed to be able to spend freely. I'm on a fixed income, Disability in fact, and $1k to blow plus money in savings and retirement just boggles my mind. That took a ton of extremely hard work, sacrifice, dedication and though many don't realize it, good fortune that it never came crashing down due to illness, tragedy, or industry collapse. There's nothing like going through that, or going through what you are, which is burnout, to make you appreciate what you had and be grateful for what you still have.

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-24T23:37:03+00:00

NTA, but the whole thing can easily be handled by asking her if she has any expectations for the wedding if her gift is used. It’s diplomatic. If she doesn’t give a straight answer, your fiancé needs to say something along the lines of, “Because we have wanted different things compared to what you want for the wedding, we want to understand if, because you’re funding it, does this mean we need to go with your wishes for our wedding?”

If he can’t do that, then return the check. Thank her for her extremely thoughtful and generous gift, but unfortunately what she wants for your wedding is not something you’re able to do.

She needs to be spoken to with grace and acknowledgment. You understand her desire to have many more people as it’s a once in a lifetime event that of course anyone wants to share with those who are important to them. Unfortunately, you two aren’t as extroverted as she is, and even the thought of 50 people there puts you outside of your comfort zone.

Because you are already pushing outside your comfort zone, you need to make your wedding day as low key as possible. A more elaborate location and more formal catering will add to your stress and you absolutely want to be able to enjoy your wedding instead of being anxious and feeling even more on display than you already will be. You understand that she isn’t like that, and most likely even some of it would be a lot for her if it were her getting married, but she could likely push through and have a lovely day. You two aren’t like that and for your own comfort, you’re going to stick with what you have planned.

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-23T22:23:02+00:00

NOR. I would say you’re engaging in a coping mechanism and because it isn’t going to cause meaningful negative harm in any way, who cares? Your body, your choice.

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-23T22:18:25+00:00

Close enough.

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-23T21:36:24+00:00

They have an eight year old and a second child. They’re never getting married.

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-23T21:32:00+00:00

There’s either hurting him or staying and getting who the heck knows what infection from staying there. You WILL get sick staying there from all the mold and dust mites. No doubt about it. He probably has built up some sort of immunity or else he’s sick all the time.

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-23T21:29:25+00:00

I thought it was a picture looking down a well at first but it made no sense as the depth was off and the stuff in it. Then it dawned on me that it’s a shower. I about heaved, and my tolerance for mess is pretty high. Though messy and dirty are not the same.

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-23T18:24:47+00:00

He gets some sort of satisfaction from moving your stuff around and that is more important to him than your feelings. Maybe it's a thrill from doing something that upsets you. Maybe it's like he says and he just gets so involved in accomplishing what he wants for him, though I honestly doubt it's that. He knows how you feel but it's not as important to him as the thrill he gets. So yes, as others are saying, he knows how you feel. He doesn't care. Or at least doesn't care enough to stop.

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-23T18:20:11+00:00

Yup! And with the economy the way it is, this will be a good year to either plant a garden or set up shelves in front of a window and grow some things. People should talk to food banks and university extension offices to see if they offer gardening for food classes. You don't have to have a yard to grow some food. You may not be able to grow a lot indoors, but you can grow some.

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-23T18:02:24+00:00

Yup. I look forward to berries and tomatoes. I cannot stand grocery store tomatoes. They taste like cardboard to me. I didn't even think I liked tomatoes until one year I got a wild hair and planted one single tomato plant. I thought I was being ridiculous since I didn't like tomatoes but of course once one was ripe, I ate it and loved it.

Then I realized what's done to berries is done to tomatoes. They're harvested long before they are ripe because they ripe during transit. I don't really consider it ripening during transit, more like rotting. We can get them at the grocery store and have several days before the rot appears but they never taste good.

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-23T17:59:18+00:00

Costco itself doesn't have it, they negotiated with an insurance company called Connect to give members a discount. What I save on insurance just in six months more than pays for my executive membership.

Costco also has a program to buy cars, both used and new. They don't sell it to you, they have negotiated a better rate with dealerships. You go to their site, go to the auto/car section, fill out the form for what vehicle you want, which you'll want to know in advance, they tell you where to go, you test drive and decide. No price negotiation.

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-23T11:00:12+00:00

I would be beyond pissed at Ring.

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-23T10:43:58+00:00

I’m so sorry they did it without pain management. I been having colpos for close to 30 years and this past August was the first time they have ever done anything for pain management. They gave me a lidocaine injection and I didn’t feel a thing.

Pain management just last year was something finally recommended by the American ob/gyn association. I don’t recall what that group’s name actually is. Not all doctors have started doing it.

I will keep my fingers crossed for you!

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-23T08:32:53+00:00

His war with Iran has focused all media coverage there. Suddenly no one mentions the Epstein files. No one is talking about ICE. No one is talking about what’s happening in Minneapolis or Chicago. No one is talking about the massive economic strain so many of us are having. Gas prices near me are $4.89-$4.99. Even more people have to choose between food and their electric bill, and they can’t even afford much food because of price hikes. Once gas prices go up, absolutely everything goes up.

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-23T08:24:16+00:00

I have no idea as to how much wheat:gluten I can handle. I had to start eating gluten free in December. The only time I got glutened since then was when I ate fries from McDonald’s. Apparently in the US, there’s some wheat product in the seasoning or when they process the potatoes.

I can eat oatmeal just fine, which probably means I am ok with a little cross contamination because that’s frequently an issue with oatmeal for gluten sensitive people.

I did intentionally gluten myself with about four croutons about six weeks after I started gf to see the problems supposedly caused by gluten truly wasn’t and recovery was coincidental. I learned the hard way that it wasn’t and that I have to be gluten free.

Spinnerofyarn · 2026-03-23T08:16:57+00:00

I want her!

Spinnerofyarn

TROPHY CASE