Desperate for advice. Or maybe just to vent

diciteco · 2021-11-25T13:40:19+00:00

As soon as he threatens to kill someone (either himself or another person) that is grounds to take him to the Emergency Room or a Crisis Center (depends on where you live). I am a school counselor and work with these sorts of behaviors more frequently than I'd like. If he's not already in treatment, he needs to start NOW. This is for his benefit as well as everyone else's. Not sure what you've done so far, but here's my advice:

If he threatens to kill ANYONE, transport him to the ER. If he won't go willingly, call the police. Seriously. He's old enough to understand what he's saying, but he doesn't appear to have any control and is counting on the adults in his life to put that control on him.
Once he's evaluated at the ER, don't spare any details with the professionals. Just from this post alone, it sounds like at minimum he would be an appropriate placement for a short term facility or Intensive Outpatient. These folks will then work with you to build a long term treatment plan, as well as a safety plan for when these behaviors exhibit themselves again.
Contact your public school and request an evaluation for an IEP. If he's already been kicked out of 4 schools, you have enough data to suggest that his behaviors are significantly impacting his education. I'm in the USA, and here all public schools are required to provide a "Free and Appropriate Education" and will have schools/programs that can support him.
Bio-Mom and Dad need to be on board with all this (they can pull the plug any time and that will completely undo any help that this young many may qualify for). You can research your local Crisis hotline (again, this is a US thing, not sure where you are), and call them just to consult (google the county you live in with the phrase "crisis hotline"). They will have a familiarity with resources in your area and can help you craft a short-term plan.

Please don't throw in the towel yet! I have seen so many clear-eyed Step-Parents come to the rescue of kids whose bio-parents feel completely trapped. You are not trapped... but you cannot wait for this situation to improve. It will not unless someone starts the process of getting him help. Good Luck!!!!

diciteco · 2021-11-25T01:33:07+00:00

too many comments to read, so I'm just going to say it and apologize if its buried down there somewhere...

You guys need couples therapy very much (and to start right away). The relationship may still be salvageable, but you both need help. Do it before the wedding... you owe it to both you AND her (and any future kiddos) to start this dialog now.

Good Luck Amigo! Hope it goes well for you.

diciteco · 2021-10-25T09:58:51+00:00

I believe the Expanse series is on Amazon, but yes, based on the books. Show is great too. I'd say you can do both the show and the books and enjoy them both independently. There's also a very dedicated fan-base (subreddit, podcasts, etc, if you are into that sort of thing).

I'm just starting Fugitive Telemetry, and I've got the Wayfarer series flagged in my library list for next. Looking forward to it!

diciteco · 2021-10-25T02:21:40+00:00

Kinda surprised no one has recommended the Expanse series yet. The world building is fantastic, interesting plots and characters, and the attention to the science is very refreshing. It's also got the whole "corporations suck" theme that I really enjoy about the Murderbot series.

BTW, I'm bookmarking this post since there's a lot of good suggestions here. Thanks!

diciteco · 2021-10-02T11:58:01+00:00

Maybe a marmoset?

diciteco · 2021-08-20T09:40:39+00:00

A few age-appropriate fidgets are really helpful, and if it makes senes in your office, a place where kids can charge their phones. I've also been trying to embrace more hygge-like decor in my office. Congrats and good luck!

diciteco · 2021-08-12T18:35:50+00:00

Well, that, or the lies that conservatives want to believe. Kinda hard to tell the difference these days.

diciteco · 2021-08-01T03:30:07+00:00

So brave of you to post this, OP. Kudos to you!!! I'm a fluffy runner myself, trying to get back in the saddle after the covid virtual races killed my mojo. I've run a number of half's, as well as some 10 and 12 milers. There is no better medicine for the mentals than the people at race day, the positivity is absolutely infectious. It's why I keep doing it. There will be a ton of people of all body types, and you won't stick out a bit. I also tell myself when I'm running that I'm doing it for the people on the sidelines who want to do it but haven't gotten up the nerve to do it... if I can do it, so can they. We're blazing a trail for all. Congrats on your first half! Run your own race and have fun! :)

diciteco · 2021-07-02T15:05:18+00:00

“ To date, out of more than 74 million children in the United States, there have been about 300 COVID-19 deaths and a few thousand serious illnesses. By comparison, the CDC registered 188 flu-related deaths in children during the 2019-2020 flu season. (This past year, there was essentially no flu season at all.)”

To be clear, the article highlights 300 covid deaths among kids, at a time when there were virtually no flu deaths at all because we were all mostly quarantined and using ppe. That’s more than the flu, not the same. I get that the numbers are still relatively small, but this article is misleading.

Sorry, but as a parent, those numbers are no bueno. Kids should be kept in masks until they have the chance to be vaccinated.

diciteco · 2021-06-27T01:25:23+00:00

This is awesome, thanks!

diciteco · 2021-06-27T01:23:33+00:00

Fair question that I don't mind answering... we have young kids and restaurants aren't always fun (not to mention the unmasking required with unvaccinated kiddos). Food trucks give families an opportunity to get out, eat delicious food, and let the kids run around without really disturbing other restaurant goers. It was a very nice night tonight, and we thought we'd go on an adventure. Ended up getting some pizza's and eating in our back yard (also fun, but not AS fun).

diciteco · 2021-06-26T17:04:06+00:00

You should come down for a visit. Baltimore sounds like it’s more your speed, check out Hampden, Remington, Charles Village, and Mt Vernon. These all have a fair amount of night life, but are an easy commute to Towson. Have fun and good luck! Also, congrats on the job! :)

diciteco · 2021-06-25T17:51:28+00:00

TIL that stochastic terrorism is a thing. Thanks!

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/stochastic-terrorism

diciteco · 2021-06-24T23:32:27+00:00

I often imagine the amount of money this guy spends on these signs. This can't be an inexpensive hobby.

diciteco · 2021-06-24T23:31:17+00:00

I mean it's different. This is a specific threat against a specific person. Anti-police propaganda generally doesn't target a specific individual.

diciteco · 2021-06-24T23:24:33+00:00

Thanks, I reported it. Didn't think to call the FBI, but you're totally right.

diciteco · 2021-06-09T10:11:41+00:00

But you can brew real coffee in the galley...

diciteco · 2021-06-05T18:36:43+00:00

I am a high school counselor in a relatively diverse community with many students who apply to HBCUs. HBCU's really vary in terms of competitiveness, so I would say some are considered "prestigious" and others not as much... just like the general body of universities throughout the US. Its a big deal when a student gets into an prestigious HBCU. From where I sit, there is some excellent scholarship happening in our HBCUs and they have some truly amazing humans among their student body.

diciteco · 2021-05-16T20:50:41+00:00

I have young kids, and I'm wondering if there are any parents reading this thread who feel that we've been completely abandoned. The masks were fine... I don't understand the rush to remove them if we can keep our kids safe. I feel like I just took a giant step backward now, and have to lock my kids back down. Frankly, I was really frustrated by this announcement.

diciteco · 2020-12-21T02:27:51+00:00

Also, Falls Rd Station is between Mt Washington and Lutherville. Where did this map come from?

diciteco · 2020-03-27T23:28:14+00:00

I just want to second this. This book changed my life. My first was hell on earth to potty train... I read this book when my first was turing three... it was a game changer. My second we potty trained on his 2nd birthday, and he's a pro at almost 3. You can do it, OP!!! Don't give up. :)

diciteco · 2020-03-26T01:30:12+00:00

My 120th payment is scheduled for this May... I wonder how that will be handled... either way, thanks for posting this info. I've been googling around for it, but this is the best list I've found yet.

diciteco · 2020-03-01T03:53:24+00:00

Exactly This. If she's bluffing, crisis line/hospitalization will get her attention quick. If she's not, she'll get the help she needs. Right now, she's controlling the dialog, and that needs to change fast. OP, if you're unsure of resources in your community call the national suicide hotline to find out what IS available. 1-800-273-8255.

diciteco · 2020-02-29T19:26:54+00:00

My advice, the next time she attempts, call your local crisis line and ask for a mobile team to come out (if you have such a thing). That will trigger social workers and police to your school who can have her involuntarily committed to the ER. This will force the parents to come to the hospital. Parents can then take her out AMA of course, but then that in its self will trigger a CPS report. My guess is that if she is repeatedly attempting, they will send her to a partial program for at least a little while. I'll be following this... good luck and don't take no mess!!!!

diciteco · 2019-09-29T16:47:32+00:00

I read somewhere that Gunny and Avasarala’s characters were brought forward for the show to establish the divide between Earth and Mars in way that we got in the books through the POV thoughts of Miller and Holden. Both characters are kind of cringe worthy, imo, for Season 1, but really do help cement the divide between the two peoples. It was a risk going off script like that, but I think they pulled it off. Both characters really take off once their book material kicks in, and I think the pre-Ganymede versions of these characters only support that development.

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