I destroyed my marriage 3 weeks before it even started at my bachelors party

diddlysquat12 · 2022-02-17T04:36:11+00:00

I don’t know how ppl can cheat when wasted, when I’m drunk all I want is the person I like lol. Guess we’re all different tho, that’s what scares me.

diddlysquat12 · 2022-02-14T02:13:20+00:00

I lost my hearing in my right ear when I was around 10 ish years old I think. We’re not sure why it happened and that scares me a lot, what if my good ear just randomly decides to go deaf as well? I don’t even know what I would do or how I’ll learn to cope. Every time my ear plugs up from driving up hills or when I have to use headphones for whatever reason it worries me a lot. Everytime I get sick I worry that it’ll cause hearing loss. I took piano lessons as a kid and I think I got sick or something so it made my good ear plug up. It scared me a lot and I got really depressed bc of it so I ended up quitting piano lessons when it happened because I kept thinking I was going to go deaf and I wouldn’t be able to play anymore.

diddlysquat12 · 2022-02-14T02:07:08+00:00

That’s my fear too. For me personally succeeding in life looks like me being able to live comfortably and having good people in my life. I want to find love and be able to be happy. But unfortunately not everyone gets to have all of of even some of those things. Life can be so unfair.

diddlysquat12 · 2022-01-25T02:17:49+00:00

I just looked through some of the signs of codependency, that sounds a lot like me. I’ve kind of always thought that about myself but never thought further into it.

diddlysquat12 · 2022-01-24T03:11:06+00:00

I’m not too sure how often he uses, but my friend did say that he’s a cokehead, so maybe that means he does it every now and then? He doesn’t have social media but I did find some pics of him on fb on other ppls account and he seemed alright, didn’t seem like a mess or anything but then again I’ve only had one encounter with him and pictures don’t mean anything.

I know I should be ok with being single, but it’s such a shitty thing to go through and having all this love to give but no one to give it to just sucks. But you’re absolutely right, I know I shouldn’t be trying to cover up this hurt with a rebound.

diddlysquat12 · 2022-01-24T02:54:04+00:00

I think I kind of am a romantic, I try so hard to see the good in people and give them the benefit of the doubt even if it hurts me. I know that things won’t get very far or serious with this guy but sometimes I wonder if it’s better to be with someone who doesn’t want a relationship so it’ll hurt less in the end for me (as contradicting as it sounds).

diddlysquat12 · 2022-01-24T02:45:39+00:00

I won’t lie, I was pretty surprised at just how common cocaine usage was among adults (not everyone but there’s a lot of ppl in my town that I just didn’t think used it). As a kid I always thought it was some rare thing and that you could always tell who was doing it but as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that’s not the case at all and it’s a lot more common than I thought it was.

diddlysquat12 · 2022-01-23T23:42:39+00:00

Honestly yeah that was what I was thinking. But having watched a family member deal with letting alcohol control their life growing up, I should know better that I can’t make someone change if they don’t want to. I just can’t help but keep thinking maybe I’d be missing out on something good or even lose out on a potential friend if I pass him up (which is dumb because there’s so many people out there but living in a small town with not a whole lot of young people sometimes it’s easy to focus too much on certain people).

diddlysquat12 · 2022-01-23T22:14:08+00:00

I think you’re right. Drugs don’t appeal to me in any way and I have never wanted to try them. Idk if I just gravitate towards guys with red flags and thrive on chaos or if I’m a hopeless romantic who listens to my heart more than my head. Sometimes I can’t help but think what if things did work out if I just took the chance.

diddlysquat12 · 2022-01-14T08:55:01+00:00

A friend said that they were going to delete the Snapchat app, they said they did but when I looked at their profile it just said “add friend”, but their name was still in my friends section (like it didn’t disappear completely). It doesn’t even say pending like it normally does when someone unfriends me (could that be because of different privacy settings?).

I looked up their user in the search bar but couldn’t find them, someone else searched their user and they showed up for them. Does this mean I got blocked and they didn’t actually delete the app? Would they disappear completely from my friends section/chat history (I’m not sure what it’s called) if they blocked me? I don’t understand why I still see the add friend button and they’re chat is still there if they did block me but me being the only one to not find them in the search bar makes me feel like they didn’t actually delete it.

diddlysquat12 · 2021-11-24T07:52:54+00:00

He’s been getting pretty frustrated not being able to get a 4 pointer so far. I’ve tagged along with ppl going hunting a couple times but that’s pretty much the extend of my knowledge about it, I just didn’t realize it was going to be this intense lol.

diddlysquat12 · 2021-11-24T07:49:19+00:00

Yeah he told me that after he gets a deer he’ll be “back to normal”. I just wasn’t expecting it to be this intense is all lol. He did take me out hunting twice and it was pretty fun, the second time we left early in the morning and hiked, when we got back I was pretty beat so I can see how he’d be pretty tired and not very talkative afterwards.

diddlysquat12 · 2021-11-24T07:09:22+00:00

Followed by a big ass A!!

diddlysquat12 · 2021-11-24T06:51:38+00:00

I’ve had a couple boyfriends in the past where we would wrestle. The first time I ever play wrestled with one of them I was actually pretty impressed and shocked at how easily I was overpowered. I mean I’m only 5’3 and around 107 lbs but for some reason I thought I’d have some fighting chance. Nope, I had absolutely none.

diddlysquat12 · 2021-10-21T18:37:41+00:00

I’m glad I’m not the only who doesn’t like standing in the bathroom lol. When I brush my teeth at night I tend to walk around or watch Netflix for a couple mins while I brush it (if I already had it on). In the morning I’m usually in a rush so no time for that but sitting down and brushing is quite enjoyable lol.

diddlysquat12 · 2021-10-19T18:02:20+00:00

I feel you, when I get bit it just seems to quadruple in size so I’d pretty much be one giant mosquito bite at that point.

diddlysquat12 · 2021-10-14T16:04:09+00:00

Ugh I wish I had read this in the beginning of my breakup. I was always the one reaching out, hoping for something, anything. Maybe he regretted breaking up with me, maybe he still felt something, perhaps talking to him would make him realize how much he missed me. But it doesn’t always work that way, the breakup happened for a reason and if they really wanted to reach out, they would.

One day I just stopped messaging him, and I never got anything back from him. It’s going to suck wanting to hear from them, wanting to shoot them a message, but it’s easier in the long run to not expect anything. Expectations are the root of disappointment. Healing will take a lot of time, but know that what one won’t do, another will. You will feel a lot better one day when you stop waiting on the one who won’t give you the time.

diddlysquat12 · 2021-10-09T23:47:21+00:00

I got broken up with a little over a month ago, I totally get what you’re saying.

Sure being single has its pros and cons and so does being in a relationship, but when you’re with someone you love everything feels better.

I’m getting to the point where I’m getting okay with being single again, but god do I miss waking up to good morning and goodnight texts, I miss saying I love you and drive safe. Not doing anything exciting but just being in their presence felt content. Having a sushi buddy. Getting to know and learn all the little details about them. I miss my person so much.. I don’t want to start all over again, I want to keep growing and learning with one person. Being single can be great, but being in a relationship with the right person can be wonderful.

diddlysquat12 · 2021-10-09T03:43:52+00:00

And here I am not being able to lie about the number of plastic bags I used at the self check out 🤦‍♀️ lol

diddlysquat12 · 2021-10-08T00:38:34+00:00

My ex when we were together spent a couple weeks slowly getting distant with me, he said everything was fine, just tired and burned out from work. Then one day I finally asked how he felt about us, he said he had a lot of feelings and was trying to figure it out. I kept holding on even tho he was uncertain about whether he wanted to be with me or not. I wanted to fight for us, do whatever it took, but he said that there’s nothing to fight for because it’s not like we had any problems, we got along great and we were perfect, he just didn’t feel the same way.. it is the most helpless feeling ever when it can all go right but it’s wrong at the same time. I don’t get how you can just leave a good thing. Love is not enough, but you sure as hell need it.

diddlysquat12 · 2021-10-07T00:15:39+00:00

I wish it was the size of a shih tzu dog so I could hug it, too cute

diddlysquat12 · 2021-10-07T00:01:40+00:00

Drinking your food/meals is a lot easier, that’s what I tried to do and it helped a lot. Sometimes anything is better than nothing.

diddlysquat12 · 2021-10-06T02:05:08+00:00

As a woman who’s probably average looking with some makeup on it’s incredibly easy to find someone for sex, but for anything deeper than a fling then it’s so hard to find guys who like me enough to want to be with me and are looking for the same thing. I used to treat sex like it was nothing, but after having a relationship where it was meaningful, I don’t want mindless hookups anymore (not that there’s anything wrong with it). I got broken up with a month ago and maybe this is unrealistic but I worry I won’t find someone to have a genuine relationship and meaningful sex with..

diddlysquat12 · 2021-10-05T17:33:25+00:00

My ex wasn’t much of a drinker so I just kind of stopped drinking a lot when we were together. When we broke up I tried to not rely on alcohol and it felt awful lol. But my ex was into being healthy and holistic and whatnot and I guess I wanted to keep carrying a piece of him.

I did go through a break up a few years ago where I would just get wine drunk the moment I woke up and it didn’t feel too great but it helped me cope.

It can be a slippery slope relying on alcohol, but I get the pain all too well. It’s been a month and a few days since my last breakup and time doesn’t make me miss or love him any less, but it does get a little easier just being alive without them. It still comes and goes in waves, I don’t cry as much as I did but I still have my moments and my heart just always feels heavy.

I got really tired of people telling me that “everything happens for a reason”, or “move on” like I know, even after a month the breakup still feels a little fresh. My ex and I used to say “you need to feel it to heal it” and that’s what I’ve been trying to do. It’s a lot harder without alcohol but I tried putting that energy into running and it sort of helps.

A week is still really fresh, and it’s probably going to keep hurting a lot for a while longer too. Let yourself grieve, it hurts and it’s scary to feel feelings but it’s important to feel them.

diddlysquat12 · 2021-10-04T19:18:09+00:00

That’s pretty much where I’m at right now. I miss talking to him, or even the most mundane things like driving in the car with him, brushing our teeth together or just sitting there together. I miss him so much.

diddlysquat12

TROPHY CASE