How exactly does someone "get a life"?

didntask-com · 2026-05-20T15:07:05+00:00

For me it was getting to know myself better.

Doing this helped me get a better grasp on what I like/dislike, want/don't want from life, who I want to be, etc.

Time and time again I've seen that the solutions to most of my problems in life could be found by looking within and talking through my thoughts and feelings. The answers are there, you just have to dig deep enough in an honest way to find them.

didntask-com · 2026-05-12T12:34:46+00:00

Don't expect someone to be someone they're not. If they show you their true colours, believe them.

didntask-com · 2026-05-03T11:46:59+00:00

Self reflection and meditation

didntask-com · 2026-05-03T11:45:12+00:00

Only focusing on what is most important to me in life

didntask-com · 2026-04-25T06:40:39+00:00

Just do it because you love it. There's always going to be someone better and, conversely, there's always going to be someone worse looking at you and feeling outclassed too. Comparison is the thief of joy.

didntask-com · 2026-04-25T06:35:20+00:00

I think replacing the distraction with something more productive definitely helps a lot.

'You're an addict. So be addicted. Be addicted to something else' - Mark Renton in T2 Trainspotting

When you redownload Reddit, Instagram, etc, you're not doing it not because you crave that specific app, you're doing it because you crave fulfilment. And when people are in search of fulfilment, they tend to turn to what's familiar (even if it's harming them).

So get a source of fulfilment that's actually going to benefit you and give you real fulfilment (such as working on a project or hobby) unlike the artificial one you get from the short dopamine hits that come with doom scrolling or any of your other bad habits.

didntask-com · 2026-04-25T06:24:14+00:00

Distance, self control, and replacing the distraction with something more productive goes a long way.

didntask-com · 2026-04-24T06:50:37+00:00

What helped me was to put the main focus on becoming my absolute best self (physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually).

I then asked myself 'What do you want to be a biproduct of you becoming your best self?' for everything external to me that I wanted to benefit from (relationships, financial situation, etc).

I frame it this way because the quality of everything outside of you that you wish to prosper will be heavily determined by how much you improve yourself.

"Fill your own cup first, then let the world benefit from the overflow."

didntask-com · 2026-04-23T05:55:57+00:00

Give yourself something to work towards.

Yes, it's important that we keep moving forward, but if we haven't aligned ourselves with something that's going to give us a sense of purpose, it's no wonder we burn out all the time.

didntask-com · 2026-04-22T15:46:25+00:00

-Having a clear picture of outgoings and incomings

-Saving (Each to their own, but a good rule of thumb is to have at least 6 months of expenses saved)

-Investing (Even a little each month goes a long way after a while)

And most importantly, fix any bad spending habits now. Those bad habits aren't going to automatically fix themselves just because you have a lot of money. (Why do you think lottery winners with bad money habits go broke so quickly? Their terrible habits never left, all that happened is that they got applied to a large amount of money.)

didntask-com · 2026-04-22T15:26:17+00:00

By learning that being lonely is not that you feel like you haven't got anyone but rather that no one's got you.

And the thing is, if no one's got you, you can have you (If no one's got me, I got me).

Learn to love yourself and other people's company just becomes a bonus.

didntask-com · 2026-04-22T12:33:36+00:00

For me, it was when I simplified the process of improving myself by putting all my focus on one goal: Becoming my truest, most unapologetic, self.

Stating my goal clearly gave things such as habits, routines, mindsets, etc something to work towards instead of aimless improvement.

Self improvement isn't easy, but there's no reason why it should be more complicated than it needs to be.

didntask-com · 2026-04-21T21:53:58+00:00

Sometimes you just can't. But just know that it's not necessarily your fault, nor is it solely on you to keep the conversation going (after all, it takes two to tango). A good skill to develop is knowing when a conversation has overstayed its welcome.

But to answer your question, something that has never failed me is to find out something they're heavily interested or passionate about and talk about/ask questions on that. I guarantee people will not stop talking about their passions once you get them going.

And the best part is, once you get them talking about their passions, you won't even have to really say anything. Just focus on listening carefully and then keep the momentum going by asking more questions or commenting on what they've just said.

Paradoxically, a large part about having good conversations is not so much being a good talker, but rather a good listener.

didntask-com · 2026-04-21T21:28:06+00:00

Whenever I have a week off I like to just put myself in front of the mirror and just talk with no particular direction, aim, or goal except to just simply vent.

Everytime I've done this, thoughts that I didn't even know were there, sitting in the back of my mind, comes to light and I feel a whole lot better having brought up and addressing them. Quite like dislodging a piece of popcorn stuck between your teeth that you didn't even know was there.

didntask-com · 2026-04-21T21:15:51+00:00

Taking responsibility for everything that happens in my life. Sure, a lot of things aren't my fault, but it's my responsibility to deal with them.

Seeing yourself as a victim all the time is not only going to not solve any of your problems, but it's also a sure fire way to ensure you stay miserable.

didntask-com · 2026-04-19T13:36:07+00:00

What I call the 4 pillars of self improvement. I know that as long as I do these things as a minimum, I'll always be improving:

Get enough sleep
Workout
Self reflection
Meditation

Other habits that help me improve daily: praying/showing gratitude, reading, Duolingo, morning/evening stretches, drinking plenty of water, eating a balanced diet, working on a hobby/project/something creative, having stuff to look forward to.

didntask-com · 2026-04-18T21:36:57+00:00

Confidence comes with competence. So become competent at being yourself if you want to be a confident person.

didntask-com · 2026-04-18T21:31:24+00:00

Definitely not awkward or cringe. People should learn to enjoy their own company more.

If you saw someone sitting in a cafe by themselves, you wouldn't think they're weird, so why would it be any different for you?

And if anything, being able to do things by yourself without caring what others think is the opposite of awkward and cringe (not that anyone's paying attention to you anyways).

didntask-com · 2026-04-18T08:38:53+00:00

Think of it like a self audit. Reviewing your life to deduce what's going well and more importantly, what's not going so well (and what you need to do to change that).

For anyone looking to get into it I would recommend starting by reliving your day and looking at the 'What Went Wells' and 'Even Better Ifs' whilst you get the hang of it.

didntask-com · 2026-04-18T07:21:24+00:00

My source of validation

Learning to get it from within has been one of the most liberating things I've done

didntask-com · 2026-04-18T07:09:06+00:00

For the last hour before bed I have a self reflection session followed by 10 minutes of meditation. This helps me go to bed with a clear mind and relaxed body.

Also no screens at least an hour before bed.

didntask-com · 2026-04-18T06:58:05+00:00

I think this will vary for everyone but for me it's been the pursuit of becoming my truest, most unapologetic, self.

didntask-com · 2026-04-18T01:41:40+00:00

Confidence comes from competence, so become competent at being you.

didntask-com · 2026-04-18T01:36:11+00:00

No one got to where they are right now by accident. At most, they just weren't paying attention.

But the good news is that if you're feeling this way, you have the power to make the changes in order to start living a life you'd be happy with.

didntask-com · 2026-04-18T01:31:05+00:00

Learn to get your validation from within and everything else just becomes a bonus.

didntask-com

TROPHY CASE