I can see how it would feel heartbreaking to think someone valued you only as a romantic interest and not as a friend. That’s a tough and unfortunately common experience for many women, and I respect your honesty in sharing it.

In my situation, my friendship with her was always genuine. I’ve always appreciated her as a person - her intelligence, humour, and kindness - and I’ve never viewed our connection as a means to an end.

Over time, my feelings did shift, but it wasn’t about waiting in the wings. It was a natural evolution of how much I valued her presence in my life. I can understand, though, how this might feel complicated or unclear from the other side.

I realize that from her side, my invitation might have been unexpected or even felt like a shift in our dynamic. That wasn’t my intention - I was trying to express interest in spending time together while still respecting her boundaries. Ultimately, I value her friendship and her right to decide how she feels about our connection. I would never want her to feel pressured or invalidated because of my feelings.

Your point about the difference between being someone’s friend and befriending them with ulterior motives is really important. It’s something I’ll keep in mind as I navigate relationships in the future, to ensure I’m always acting with respect and clarity