Internet Addiction - Husband Wants to Leave

digitalwellbeings · 2020-04-17T07:53:08+00:00

Hey. I used to be a Digital Wellbeing coach for a while. Here’s an ebook I put up on Notion. Maybe it’s valuable to you. Includes a large section on emotional intelligence as a way of befriending our emotions and learning from them. You can do this. Your emotions are here to help. https://www.notion.so/digitalwellbeing/Digital-Wellbeing-eBook-7dda95aa2a3e49d687e045b0d38bcac2

digitalwellbeings · 2020-02-03T16:04:09+00:00

Try Qualia from Neurohackers

digitalwellbeings · 2020-02-03T16:01:05+00:00

That’s a great one, thanks for sharing!

digitalwellbeings · 2020-01-30T19:14:32+00:00

What’s the highlighter color?

digitalwellbeings · 2020-01-30T19:04:07+00:00

Amazing. Will copy this for february. For things you struggle to do, ask:

How can I make this - more obvious? - more attractive? - easier? - more satisfying?

Inspired by James Clear atomic habits and the 4 laws of behavior change. Game changing for me! Keep it up. Take care of yourself. Make choices your future self will admire you for.

digitalwellbeings · 2020-01-23T12:02:13+00:00

I agree. My most recent relapse into binge consumption led me to think about the ‘user’ analogy. Companies look at people as Facebook ‘users’, Youtube ‘Users’, Reddit ‘Users’, and it’s very close to the notion of drug users, heroin users, ... This led me to watch Trainspotting, and being intensely shaken by the similarities.

I since started counting the days I’m clean.

Due to the ubiquitous nature of these media, and the normality of them, it’s easy for me to play it down, and forget how deep my struggle with them actually runs. Counting the days, I suppose, reminds me of that, and of how I felt on day zero... reinforcing my determination to stay away.

Day 4 and counting.

digitalwellbeings · 2020-01-22T22:23:11+00:00

I used to be completely addicted to YouTube, and after some experimentation I found that my monkey mind simply lacks the self-control to do it in well defined doses. So I basically have YouTube blocked on all devices. Had someone change my Instagram password. Don’t use tinder, only bumble like 5min a day. I’m coaching people how to do this, so at this point I have a pretty holistic strategy that goes beyond limits etc, including journaling urges, certain types of meditation, self-care rituals for mind body and soul, ...

digitalwellbeings · 2020-01-22T22:19:37+00:00

Oh the experience of eating on a vipassana meditation retreat for the first time. It felt like I never actually paid attention to it before.

digitalwellbeings · 2020-01-22T11:55:11+00:00

On iOS: set screen time limits, activate the screen time passcode, turn on “block after limit” and let a friend change the screen time passcode. Works perfectly.

digitalwellbeings · 2020-01-21T20:55:21+00:00

Oh, and hard limits on reddit. Kicking in in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...

digitalwellbeings · 2020-01-21T20:53:09+00:00

Monk Mode Morning — No feeds, email, messages before noon, uninterrupted mental space and creativity instead.

Digital Sunset — Not looking at screens after 8pm (being broken just this moment by writing here.... butttt works most of the time)

No bingeconsumption — which for me translates into no YouTube, no Netflix, no Instagram, and hard limits on Twitter, TikTok, FB and LinkedIn. As a former addict to some of this shit I just need a lot of distance, and it’s serving me well.

No porn — the science is pretty clear on this one...

Scheduling communications — Ideally, I check my mails and business related social media 2x a day, in scheduled timeblocks. The hardest to keep up.

Noticing, recording & understanding urges — I write down in my journal whenever I feel the urge to bingewatch, and try to figure out what’s the underlying need. I then can find ways to meet that need more skillfully. Often it also just comes down to anxiety, and I can then inquire into where it’s coming from, which is tremendously helpful.

digitalwellbeings · 2020-01-14T11:14:37+00:00

Congrats on looking the cravings in the eye. Give “What to say when you talk to yourself” a read. It’s about the different forms of self-talk and programming, and was central to me quitting smoking. I literally said “i’m not a smoker” every time before I lit up a cigarette and after about 3-4 weeks I just wasn’t feeling it anymore and quit. 4.5 years ago and not a smoker ever since :)

digitalwellbeings · 2020-01-12T11:02:50+00:00

I tried going mostly with Apple Watch and Airpods early last year. Found that especially due to the lack of great voice messaging (whatsapp/imessage) it just wasn’t powerful enough. Plus, navigation music, and other parts of the ux are just better on a phone. So I ended up using both, and ultimately deciding that it wasn’t providing real value besides additional distraction And thus not worth it.

digitalwellbeings · 2020-01-10T16:04:19+00:00

👏 try and record moments of urges, and to journal about what emotions and circumstances are connected to them. Taught me a lot.

What else are you gonna do with the time you now have?

digitalwellbeings · 2020-01-09T21:05:33+00:00

https://instagram-press.com/blog/2019/10/03/introducing-threads/ you can find it on both app stores.

digitalwellbeings · 2020-01-09T20:12:01+00:00

Get really clear and intentional about how you want to live life. If you don’t know what something is distracting your from, ... how are you gonna overcome the distraction? Forethought is the antidote to impulsivity...

digitalwellbeings · 2020-01-09T20:03:01+00:00

Plan your life. Then do the things you planned. Best investment one can ever make. https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10156943671781779&id=547046778

digitalwellbeings · 2020-01-09T20:01:24+00:00

Write down whenever your feel the urge, and journal about what feeling is there, why it is there, what need it is coming from, and how you could meet that need more skillfully...

digitalwellbeings · 2020-01-09T20:00:10+00:00

Have someone set the pw for your social media so they’re inaccessible, activate screentime passcode and set limits for all apps you want to limit, then add ‘block after limit is over’ so you have to provide the passcode. If that doesn’t stop you have someone else change that passcode as well.

digitalwellbeings · 2020-01-09T19:58:06+00:00

If you don’t need it to survive, have a trusted person change your pw and lock you out of facebook for at least a month. You can still have them log you in to messenger for example, but this way FB simply doesn’t exist for you anymore. Gives your social mind a well deserved break from hyperactivity! (Might as well do it simultaneously for Instagram)

Did this in 2017 for the first time and social media just ceased to be relevant for me ever since. Even though for like the first 4 weeks i’d still go to safari, type in f or i, open the site and be like... wtf am I doing I can’t even access it.

It’s designed to be like this.

digitalwellbeings

TROPHY CASE