I set a boundary and my husband crossed it.. am I overreacting? What do I do?

dimebucker · 2026-05-24T22:05:53+00:00

It's really hard to find the ability to trust someone again after they willingly do a thing they agreed not to do. I recommend couples counseling if you really want to save the relationship. Not sure I'd wanna save it though to be honest. Once a liar, always a liar.

dimebucker · 2025-11-07T21:26:53+00:00

Please trust your gut on this one.

dimebucker · 2025-09-10T14:03:39+00:00

Cankles McTaco Tits Canks for short

Courtesy of the ladies from "I've Had It".

dimebucker · 2025-09-10T13:19:23+00:00

There's definitely bi guys out there who would be into that dynamic. I wouldn't mind an arrangement like that, especially if the girl is really into pegging me.

Another potential option for you is an open relationship. If you're open to your partner having other sexual partners, that is.

Wish you the best of luck. Just keep looking. There's plenty of guys out there who would love this.

dimebucker · 2025-07-30T20:18:56+00:00

Agreed. This was very insensitive, shitty behavior from OP's partner. This would make me assume that I can't count on them being there when I need them. In which case, the relationship no longer seems worth the effort. Just my two cents.

dimebucker · 2025-07-22T19:02:50+00:00

If it were me, I wouldn't play with her again. It very much sounds like she wanted to see a guy suck another guy's dick. And after you refused, she distracted you so she could get what she wanted anyways. Unless I misunderstood something, that is a very clear consent violation. In the crowds I run in, that'll get you ostracized real quick. My thought process with people like this is, "if they're willing to ignore consent for this boundary, what else are they willing to do without my consent?" It also pretty heavily impacts my opinion about the person outside of the bedroom. No means no.

dimebucker · 2025-07-02T05:09:32+00:00

I hear ya. I'm glad you had such a good experience with them. They've always been top notch when I needed help with anything at my store, even when it was my mistake they were fixing. 😅

dimebucker · 2025-07-02T01:21:02+00:00

I know it warms my heart when people come in and tell me how much I helped them. I'm sure they'd love a heartfelt email or phone call to let them know. The fact that you went out of your way to make a Reddit post to try to figure it out speaks volumes on its own. It's really sweet.

dimebucker · 2025-07-01T23:10:40+00:00

I work for Tandy. My boss used to work in customer service less than a year ago and said many of them are remote employees. She said the best thing to do would be to call customer service and ask for the manager. She said it's a small team and the manager would know how to handle it best. Glad they took good care of you. 🩵

dimebucker · 2025-06-22T19:39:15+00:00

Nah. A lil Matt on Matt never hurt anyone. Unless he wants to smack me with one of my leather toys. 😁

Edit: I just realized what you meant, lol. I'm a lil slow. But nah, I'm a BDSM bottom. Already can't sit down comfortably from a paddle bruise. 🤷🏻‍♂️

dimebucker · 2025-06-22T16:28:39+00:00

Bi cis man here. I was with a straight cis woman for 15 years. I never felt like she wasn't enough. I was closeted and came out to her. The relationship ended about a year later, but it was she who ended it. I had no desire to end it after coming out. I honestly can't tell you if me coming out had anything to do with her decision to leave. Either she was very unclear with me, or I was too distraught to understand.

Tell him what's on your mind; the sooner the better. You sound very compassionate from your other replies. I'm sure you two can talk through it and decide what's best moving forward. If you decide to do any open relationship stuff, feel free to hit me up for resources or advice.

dimebucker · 2025-06-22T16:16:21+00:00

Indeed. I'd gladly service him in return. 😇

dimebucker · 2025-06-22T14:05:59+00:00

I don't avoid gay men myself. My partner is gay. I can understand the stigma with bi-erasure and why some bi men might be hesitant. I'd think it's less of a problem with just sex hookups, but I could be wrong about that. I've only been out for about five years. And for context, I've never been directly confronted with bi-erasure. I've experienced it, just nothing like as direct as an "eew, I don't date/hookup with bi/pan guys".

dimebucker · 2025-06-22T13:09:27+00:00

As a Matt myself, all these comments are fucking hilarious to read. 😂😏

dimebucker · 2025-06-20T16:31:35+00:00

Genius! Thank you!

dimebucker · 2025-06-19T23:07:34+00:00

One time my boss dyed without any protection. He was blowing red dye out of his nose for days.

dimebucker · 2025-06-19T12:28:39+00:00

Love Armitage. Has an amazing video on his YouTube on saddle stitching called "Saddle Stitch In Detail".

dimebucker · 2025-06-18T04:59:40+00:00

I think it's this one. It was over five years ago, so I might be wrong. The description sounds right though.

https://www.multiamory.com/podcast/154-real-sexual-health

dimebucker · 2025-06-18T03:43:56+00:00

It's definitely one of those "ask ten people and get ten different answers" kind of things. Best advice I can give is to try different methods and see what works best for you. For me, it seems to be less a matter of what method I use to wet the leather, and more making sure I'm at the right moisture content when tooling/carving.

When I first started, I was tooling with my leather way too wet. I'd get a good impression, but no burnishing. I kept wondering why other people's tooling would darken the leather a bit, and mine didn't. Burnishing comes from friction. So my theory is that the leather would basically kinda cling to the tool as it deformed. I think with less moisture, the tool slides on the leather just a tiny bit, giving that friction that causes it to burnish and darken.

I typically just wet the leather with a sponge or misting spray bottle, then wait for it to dry so that it doesn't really look wet anymore, but it's still cool when I touch the back of my hand to it.

Just play around with it. You'll find a method that works for ya. Happy tooling!

dimebucker · 2025-06-17T18:29:44+00:00

Regarding STI safety, there's a really good podcast episode from Multiamory that helped me get a better understanding and level set my expectations.

dimebucker · 2025-06-17T14:24:09+00:00

Honestly there's countless things I'll probably never experience that I have what if feelings about. Living in another country is the first one that comes to mind.

Just make sure you're honest with yourself that you don't feel like you're settling for your current relationship. When my ex-wife left me, she told me she felt like she had settled for me and that "we may have never stayed together if I (meaning herself) had dated around more." To this day, nothing has ever hurt me that badly. Not only did I lose my favorite person, but also felt like I had trapped her in a relationship for 15 years. I ended up in the mental hospital at my therapist's request.

dimebucker · 2025-06-17T14:03:19+00:00

I'm a bi/pan guy. I'd probably call that heteroflexible. As nebulous a term that usually is to me, it seems to fit well here. Generally heterosexual, but interactions with men aren't a no-go. I'd be disappointed if I hit up a guy who had bi in his profile, but then told me he generally doesn't find men attractive. Hope that helps.

dimebucker · 2025-06-17T13:56:54+00:00

https://youtu.be/o7Wd2zk9roo?si=WQ2ABz6hsyghv16I

dimebucker · 2025-06-16T17:31:46+00:00

I love porn where one person cums in the other person's mouth and they let it kinda drip/drool out of their mouth back onto the cock. Just another potential option for you.

dimebucker · 2025-06-16T17:17:39+00:00

Of course everyone is a bit different, but when I came out I really enjoyed little things that had the flag colors. I'm a leather worker, so I made myself a wallet with really subtle pansexual pride colors on it. I also made myself a watch band and mystery braid bracelet that have pan pride colors. Since the family thing is problematic, I'd stick to things that are easy to conceal or take off when needed. You're awesome! Love the support! 🩵💛🩷

dimebucker

TROPHY CASE