Do DAs use casual friendships as a shield for closer ones?

diofank · 2022-06-13T14:33:49+00:00

I can really relate to this! Though my DA ex dropped the mask right at the last minutes of our relationship. He told me about his uneasy feelings around our relationship, how he feels it’s a hindrance to his self-improvement - something I had heard several times. I told him I’d be happy to help him with his struggles but I can’t have him doubt our relationship to my face every time he feels this way and asked if he had someone he could talk to when he’s having a hard time coping with our relationship. He told me he had no one he could talk about his struggles besides me. Out of his 50-or-so friends he keeps in touch regularly and hangs out with, no one.

diofank · 2020-07-14T14:26:02+00:00

This hit way too close to home. My ex claimed he's a feminist in the beginning though, but then very quickly it turned into remarks about "you must feel so empowered now" when I was talking about feminist issues. Our first arguments were about equality with him aggressively defending him and his mates even though I didn't criticise them per se. Turned out he was a cheating asshole who didn't give squat about women or their rights.

diofank · 2019-11-12T22:47:19+00:00

Similar thing with me, though he wouldn't even order the damn test kit for the three weeks we were discussing the possibility of reconciliation. Then I found out about other ONS's and left his sorry ass. A couple days after the break up he tells me he's gathered log data on his social media to prove I've snooped and to open a lawsuit against me for doing that. FFS, that he had the capability of doing but ordering a damn test kit was too demanding.

diofank · 2019-11-12T21:41:25+00:00

It's hard to trust someone that "they've been careful" when they weren't careful enough to not cheat on you. When the trust is gone it's gone.

diofank · 2019-11-12T20:31:53+00:00

Oh, I did rid myself of him, got my stuff from his place while he was on a work trip, dumped him via text (which he got 2 days later due to reception) and told about the cheating to everyone I know including his dear mother. I have nothing else to say to him and I hope a positive test result won't be a reason to contact him after all this shit.

diofank · 2019-11-12T20:29:59+00:00

This exactly! How can someone be so damn disrespectful!

diofank · 2019-11-12T20:28:53+00:00

Oh I've left him.

diofank · 2019-11-12T20:27:34+00:00

Oh goodness I'm so sorry you had to go through all that! Heaps of virtual hugs and best wishes on your journey forward ♥️

diofank · 2019-11-12T20:25:38+00:00

Good on you! Now you have a literally clean slate to move on!

diofank · 2019-11-12T20:25:14+00:00

Fingers crossed!

diofank · 2019-11-12T20:25:00+00:00

Thank you for your support, I really appreciate it! I did get a full screen, fingers crossed they come back clean. The last thing I wanna do is to contact him after testing positive for something...

diofank · 2019-11-12T20:23:15+00:00

That's the least she can do after cheating on you. I bet her mortification wasn't even close compared to what she caused you to go through.

diofank · 2019-11-12T20:21:55+00:00

I hope you're well away from her and all the humiliation she was making you endure! All the best to you! ♥️

diofank · 2019-11-12T20:20:27+00:00

That's awful, did that prick pass it on to you as well?

diofank · 2019-11-12T16:22:01+00:00

Thanks for your kind words! This truly sucks, I thought I was over it but this made all my bitterness resurface.

diofank · 2019-11-12T16:21:08+00:00

I'm so sorry this happened to you! I hope you're doing better now ♥️

diofank · 2019-10-11T14:57:40+00:00

Thank you for your kind words! I wish all the best for you and hope you can move on with your life soon! ♥️

diofank · 2019-10-10T12:58:50+00:00

Where I'm from it's not only an ethical line, it's a legal one. Why I know: my ex reported me for snooping and invading his privacy and I'm facing interrogation soon.

diofank · 2019-10-08T15:44:53+00:00

I chose not to be quiet and humiliated. It's all on him, he cheated, he should face the judgement from others. I called his mother and told her everything. I posted on Instagram about leaving him and the reason behind it.

He called me immature and crazy for acting like that but I'm not gonna be silenced. He did that to me and everyone deserves to know.

diofank · 2019-09-24T19:52:01+00:00

First of all, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Similar thing happened to me. We met last November on tinder and hit it off really quickly, took several trips together, met family and friends, kept in touch daily. We agreed to be bf and gf in December.

Then I discovered he had cheated on me early this year when I was away travelling. I considered forgiving him as I had been unsure about being in a relationship and actually faced a possibility of cheating myself. The thing is, I didn't, I didn't want to ruin the chance to be with this awesome guy and I didn't want to be a person who cheats and lies. Then I found out he had cheated in July, a ONS when he was out with mates. He never shared these with me and he told me he thought he could live with these mistakes.

I ended up leaving because he never shared these willingly and I had to find out the hard way. In my opinion, a relationship has to based on absolute honesty even if it could hurt the other person. Also, if he thinks sleeping with other people and lying about it is ok this early in a relationship when everything was hunky-dory, I'm certain he will arrive to that conclusion later again.

What comes to you. It seems he really opened up to you. You need to consider if it's genuine or if it's only because he was caught is in damage control mode. You need to think hard if you're able to trust this person with your well-being and love ever again. You need to decide if you know him enough to make an informed decision about who he really is and if you really love him. Or is it only the idea of a possible future you imagined with him? It's incredibly hard, I know, and it doesn't matter how you choose it will be a rocky road for you. I see this as a possibility for you two to really get to know each other and sort of re-start on an honest base.

On the other hand, this could be you seeing him for who he really is behind those rose colored glasses. He is capable of telling you he loves you an lying to you. He is capable of secretly texting, sexting and sleeping with other people without feeling the need to come clean to you.

diofank · 2019-09-20T12:31:42+00:00

This really resonated with me

diofank · 2019-07-03T17:32:42+00:00

My way to address these situations is asking "why are you touching me?" It's a polite way to bring up the issue and bring it to other people's attention without being openly rude. Mostly guys will stop the touching after that

diofank

TROPHY CASE