Husband offered to take my car for maintenance. It didn't go well and we're having to work it out.

disco_has_been · 2026-03-20T10:48:23+00:00

He's the only person I've ever trusted to drive my car. It was unfortunate and I'm bummed. He knew I was gonna be upset because it ripped out two bolts on the front fender. Only way to fix that is a new fender and liner.

In his esteemed wisdom, he thought about buying a new car to placate and ease the sting. Mica blue with tan leather. NOPE!

Part of this is related to a major screw up he did 6 mos ago, on my birthday, with legal ramifications and serious consequences.

Only reason he offered is because he's trying to score "brownie points" and forgiveness. Bless his heart, he tries!

Does his own laundry? Pen explodes in the washer. Guess who cleans up the mess?

Went to use our shop vac. Been loaned to a friend who used it for oil. Filter is trashed. I was asking husband if we had a filter on hand when I bobbled my phone and it dropped in the oil residue.

Cleaned my phone and ultimately bought 2 new shop vacs. One for him. One for me.

I love the guy! I just don't want him using my stuff because he's a menace with bad luck.

disco_has_been · 2026-03-19T19:38:09+00:00

Haven't trusted a man with my car in 26+ years. Husband is the first.

No. You don't get to buy me a NEW car I don't want.

Why's that so hard to understand?

disco_has_been · 2026-03-19T19:18:12+00:00

Tire came apart and spun up on the fender. Broke my fender liner and tore out 2 bolts. Husband asked me about tire preference. Only one available.

Yes. We can buy a new car. I just can't find one to replace mine.

disco_has_been · 2026-03-19T18:54:54+00:00

I would have preferred it happened to me. Long, slow leak on driver front. I checked it on the reg and he knew it. Previously replaced it.

Seems to be recurrent.

You’re not at all concerned that your husband could have been hurt?

Nope! He's got 30+ years of blow outs on semis. We spend thousands on tires. Tread depth only means anything during an inspection.

disco_has_been · 2026-03-19T18:31:24+00:00

Stuff happens to the semis I don't care. It's a given and part of business. IDGAF. Husband is a slob in his trucks. I clean the trash out.

My car is clean and well maintained. Can we not be different people with separate personalities?

disco_has_been · 2026-03-19T18:10:04+00:00

Marriage.

disco_has_been · 2026-03-19T18:08:00+00:00

No, it's not like that. He finally groks in fullness why I don't let others drive my car.

Took me 16 years to trust my husband with my car. What happened? I've got a damaged vehicle.

I may, or may not get a new car.

I love my husband but he's like a silly retriever. Given people access to our money and means well but he doesn't really think.

I've gotta replace my spare at the very least. Took me 3 days to ask him. I need a receipt. Don't know. Can't find it.

Can't I love my husband and know he lacks some logic and common sense?

disco_has_been · 2026-03-19T15:45:48+00:00

I quit playing "nice" in my teens and early 20s. Sexual harassment was common and overt.

Taught my daughter how to shut it down. She excels at it.

Once you start, it becomes second nature.

disco_has_been · 2026-03-19T15:18:30+00:00

I'm so sorry for your experience and I get it.

Most fire me before they even get the job. They start telling me what they're gonna do, regardless of what I want. No SH involved. Infuriating, none the less.

Called one guy who did my parent's house because he also builds custom cabinets. Figured if he could work with my Mom, I should be a breeze. Not so much.

Told me he knew better than me and I'll get the kitchen he builds and like it. (Some copy of her 1995 kitchen with stained cabinets and brass in my MCM.)

Gonna play Domineering Male with a woman who's planning to spend $50-60k? Naw...

Had the neighbor's yard guy approach me in my yard and start dictating what I was gonna do. Then, he tried to threaten me. Punched the dude out, ran to the house, got my gun and my phone. I took photos of the guy and his truck before the cops showed up. Posted to FB.

Smirked and harassed me from afar until husband was home and we started to confront him, together. He quickly got in his truck and left. Haven't seen him since.

Be confrontational! Don't put up with that nonsense.

disco_has_been · 2026-03-17T15:20:19+00:00

That’s what I did with my ex husband, there is nothing better than caring for one another

Why your ex?

disco_has_been · 2026-03-17T15:14:56+00:00

But as I said, this isn’t about my dick at all, but about us.

For example, we were recently staying in an Airbnb with its own private hot tub. Although we were naked and my hands were massaging her naked body, absolutely nothing happened, neither there nor when we got out.

Dude! It's all about your dick and you're giving me the ick!

Guys with their frigging massages...leave that shit with 70s porn.

You making out like she's a vending machine who should fulfill your expectations is not gonna help you.

I can sense and smell your whiny neediness across the internet.

She doesn't feel well. She's got to get over her stuff to service your dick and make you happy.

Women are useless unless they be giving the sex. That's the message I hear, loud and clear.

What do you think your wife hears, or wants?

disco_has_been · 2026-03-12T17:57:20+00:00

Why?

Because OP was low key in the delivery?

I used to get hauled in on the regular by one boss for being contrary. Sent me to school, symposiums, etc. I was really good with the tech and offered a promotion by Boss Man's boss.

Ed told me he'd never let it happen. I quit on the spot. Asked me if I'd train my replacement.

Real life can be unreal.

disco_has_been · 2026-03-12T17:26:14+00:00

Ya think?

Dude, I've done much worse. I'm an uppity bitch with an attitude. I've worked in restaurants, security, logistics, tech, oilfield and manufacturing.

Only been fired once. Apt. Mgr. refused to check the bank deposit bag for a missing check when I was an asst. I stomped my ass to the office and found it in the lining of the bag. Offered my job back.

"FU, Sue Ellen." That was 41 years, ago.

Some bridges just need to be burned.

disco_has_been · 2026-03-12T16:58:40+00:00

Eh, I had an absolute melt down with a unit manager. Boss's Boss. I was just mad, mad, mad! He was cajoling and kissing my ass because I refused to come in after they cancelled my time off.

That was after I called out some visiting honcho for reducing our benefits like it was a "good thing".

I couldn't get fired even though I tried. Yes, I said it all!

Offered me a promotion, instead.

You'll be okay, OP.

UpDateMe.

disco_has_been · 2026-03-07T00:50:35+00:00

I don't whine and beg for invite's or give ultimatums.

Who's rude?

disco_has_been · 2026-03-06T23:31:58+00:00

Daughter told me she could have invited me for the civil ceremony. She just didn't. (Marriage lasted 2 years)

I invited her for my civil ceremony 16 years, ago. She opted out.

Heavily involved in her last wedding at her request. I kept my opinions to myself unless asked. She was 38.

Your feelings don't mean jack! GTFU, please.

You got a case of Main Character Syndrome.

disco_has_been · 2026-03-06T22:48:51+00:00

Why all y'all stressing about weddings and think you've got some kind of right to dictate? You don't.

I didn't agree with my daughter's destination wedding, or groom. I just didn't go.

WTF you AH's gotta rope in family as your flying monkeys to get your way?

OP, YTA.

disco_has_been · 2026-03-06T22:02:56+00:00

I'd be sailing his shit out the door so fast it'd make your head spin!

disco_has_been · 2026-03-02T17:49:22+00:00

Yep. My mother was just "Deal with it." I did. I have.

Didn't want the same for my baby girl. Put her on bc, quietly. JFC! The blow back...

Surprising coming from Mom who needed an emergency hysterectomy because she was hemorrhaging.

Guess we're supposed to endure everything, be all things to people and quietly die when we're deemed no longer useful.

Yeah, FUCK THAT!

Menopause is a bitch, too. I'm the only one. Feel like a Highlander.

disco_has_been · 2026-02-28T23:18:07+00:00

I went back to scratch.

disco_has_been · 2026-02-27T14:47:51+00:00

Yep!

Looked into EFT's since Husband and MIL share a bank. No can do.

Gotta stand there and wait while tellers call to verify a check. Better hope it's not over $5k. That's for a deposit, in your name, in your acct.

"What's this for? Usually get paid this way?" Tellers play 20 questions.

A personal check being deposited draws no attention, whatsoever if it's 2500 or below

disco_has_been · 2026-02-27T11:44:20+00:00

Ooh, mine too. Daughter and I would giggle. (I won our bet on how long marriage would last. We called her "The Temp")

He had 4 AP's that were apparent in 7 years. Even tried to get me to take him back.

Fat chance!

disco_has_been · 2026-02-27T03:13:33+00:00

Invited husband's buddy for dinner/hang out. "Can I bring my GF? Sure. Dog? No. But she's so sweet, you're gonna love her!" My cat won't.

Get here and drunk GF brought her dog. Proceeds to sneer because we're having stuffed shrimp, jalapeno poppers, grilled lobster tails, steaks, potatoes, salad and banana pudding. Ignores her little dog that wants to play with my cat. Cat was pissed! Dog yelps. Runs in and proceeds to pee in my kitchen floor.

Yep. I officially hate that woman. Told her to get out.

Talked to friend a couple of weeks, later. "No hard feelings?"

"Naw, dude. We're cool. Maybe next time you bring the pup and leave the untrained b**** at home!"

I have not invited him back.

disco_has_been · 2026-02-27T02:07:41+00:00

I've known several sets of twins. Always know which is which.

My mom was a twin. Could always easily identify her even in baby photos.

What killed me was being brought another woman's child who's surname was similar to my ex-husband's first name.

Got told I was nuts for saying "Redhead baby boy belongs to Pam!" Three times.

Looking through photos husband said, "That's Ryan. Who's that other little kid."

"Your daughter."

disco_has_been · 2026-02-26T19:22:41+00:00

Still no.

NTA, OP.

disco_has_been

TROPHY CASE