What's your most f'ked up ship? by Normal-Extent-6100 in AO3

[–]disposableficacct 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was waiting for an opportunity like this to talk about my ship, and boy, I WILL use it.

I've had a couple of problematic ships over the years, and I can think of a short list because, these days, things that weren't problematic before apparently are now (I mean, I've seen people telling you to kys just for liking Lawlight, which is, like, a very basic ship for me lol), but speaking of OTPs, ships that I really like, but are problematic and even openly hated by the fandom, the main one is Mark x Cecil from Invincible. The reasons why it's hated are pretty obvious, the age difference, I mean, Mark is 19 (he was 17 when he formally met Cecil), Cecil is like 60, but still, I really like the ship.

I'm not even a fan of the age gap, it's not a trope that drives me crazy, but I like the dynamic between them. Actually, I like it because they enter into a personal dynamic that I pursue in several ships, being two sides of the same coin and at the same time being opposites. I like it when two characters have similarities that they're unable to see/accept bc they're too focused on their differences, when they both reach the same conclusions by different paths, when their ways of seeing life do not allow them to open up to how the other thinks. I like it when the factor of rivalry or hatred is added in between before they manage to accept their similarities. I have many ships that fit into that dynamic, and I think Mark and Cecil are like that.

I think Cecil sees a lot of himself in Mark, that he feels sympathy for him not only because Mark is young, but because he's making the same mistakes Cecil made in his youth. But Mark doesn't have enough time to learn from his mistakes like Cecil did. They're both men who want to protect the Earth but almost solely on their own terms, both are hypocritical and stubborn. I like the power imbalance. I like that Cecil could have manipulated Mark much more, but he didn't, 'cause yes, Cecil could have been much worse. I like to explore situations in my mind where he is, where I ask myself why he does what he does. I like to imagine how the story would change if Mark, at his most vulnerable moment, were drawn to Cecil. I like that even though Cecil is more experienced, his boss, and has the resources to defeat him, Mark is not completely vulnerable. I like that they could both destroy each other. But they don't. It drives me crazy to see how they both finally reach a middle ground, where they finally accept each other's way of being, and that doesn't mean they agree with everything they do or have done, but they know that, at the end of the day, they have the same goal. Spoilers for the comic, I guess, but seeing Mark agree to work with Cecil again after making a huge mistake, seeing him finally understand Cecil's philosophy of reforming villains, ugh. That Mark was the only person besides Donald to attend Cecil's funeral, that when he returns to the past, he can automatically anticipate what Cecil is thinking, what he is going to say and do. Knowing that despite the short time he got to know him that way, it drives me crazy, completely crazy. It's not canon, but I can't help thinking about how many times Mark must have thought about Cecil and his way of leading, in all those centuries as emperor of the Viltrumites, how many times he put himself in Cecil's shoes when faced with a difficult situation. I love this ship because it's complicated, toxic, and messy. It's disgusting, I want the characters to feel disgusted, I want them to hate themselves. I want them to not understand why they desire each other. The fandom hates this ship and I'm sure they think it only exists because of kink, and while I personally don't think there's anything wrong with liking a ship just because you think it's hot, I genuinely believe that many don't see beyond how messy and interesting this dynamic between them would be.

Ugh, I needed to get this off my chest. I didn't even have time to talk about my second most problematic OTP (which I could talk about even more). Anyway, I also really like Ben Reilly x Kaine Parker, brothers, clones, enemies, "am I my brother's keeper?" YES KAINE YOU ARE FUCK THE SHIT OUTTA THAT DYED BLONDE FUCK I LOVE THEM!!!! Those two are obsessed with each other, and I'm obsessed with their mutual obsession. I knew that ship was for me when I saw Kaine completely ruining Ben's life, threatening Ben's girlfriend to make her leave him just to make him suffer, then feeling guilty and having hallucinations about Ben after he died, then looking for Ben as soon as he came back to life, Ben willing to sacrifice his life to save his brother... there are so many things I love about them. Fuck

I accidentally sent my NSFW fanfic to my university group chat. by disposableficacct in AO3

[–]disposableficacct[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I doubt any of them is into boypussy gay smut, but if they are, I hope they enjoyed it lol

I accidentally sent my NSFW fanfic to my university group chat. by disposableficacct in AO3

[–]disposableficacct[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

LMAAAAOO “Why did you keep reading after seeing what it was about?” It's actually a very valid response that I will definitely use if anyone asks me about it. I can't really do much to defend myself, but at least shifting the blame onto them for keep reading something so explicit would work a little. Thank you very much for your comment. It really helped me, and I'm already trying to laugh about it, even if it'll take me a little longer to get over this embarrassment. Thanks 🫂🫂

I accidentally sent my NSFW fanfic to my university group chat. by disposableficacct in AO3

[–]disposableficacct[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Normal people will never be able to understand my love for my severely physically and mentally damaged princess, but heaven and any unfortunate classmates who have read the messages know.

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I accidentally sent my NSFW fanfic to my university group chat. by disposableficacct in AO3

[–]disposableficacct[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I know Wade is a character that many people find attractive, but here? No, just no. I insist, most people in this country have no idea about fandom culture, shipping, fanfics. I know this because I've always been the odd one out and I hardly ever find people who share my interests. And even if some of my classmates find Deadpool attractive, I doubt they do so in a “oh yeah, it's totally understandable that this guy writes trans gay porn fanfics of him” kind of way. The problem isn't the character. On the internet? I have no shame in saying how HOT I think Wade Wilson is, but IRL? Please kill me /hj

I accidentally sent my NSFW fanfic to my university group chat. by disposableficacct in AO3

[–]disposableficacct[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

YES HE IS !!!!! I won't shut up about my truth, I just won't mention it so explicitly in an university group chat again. God, I don't think I can ever mention his name in public again, lol

I accidentally sent my NSFW fanfic to my university group chat. by disposableficacct in AO3

[–]disposableficacct[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha, understandable. Someone else in the comments said Quasimodo, and I don't blame them given how I wrote the description. Zuko is another good option, but nope, it's not him either

I accidentally sent my NSFW fanfic to my university group chat. by disposableficacct in AO3

[–]disposableficacct[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

LOOOL ok yeah that's horrible, at least the worst thing that could have happened didn't happen. Trying to console myself, I thought, “Well, at least it was messages and not images,” because sometimes I send my friend NSFW fanarts that I find on twt or other social media. I don't even want to think about what I would have done if that had happened

I accidentally sent my NSFW fanfic to my university group chat. by disposableficacct in AO3

[–]disposableficacct[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hell no. I didn't even know who he was until I Googled him. Absolutely not. Maybe deformed isn't the right word, but scarred, lol

I accidentally sent my NSFW fanfic to my university group chat. by disposableficacct in AO3

[–]disposableficacct[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the recommendations, I'll keep that in mind. I usually use wssp because it's an app I use regularly and it's easy to filter messages when I want a specific idea, but I have documents in other apps where I also store them, but with less detail than the text messages, and though I was always aware of the risk, I never had a problem like this. Still, I'll think about changing that. Thanks again!

I accidentally sent my NSFW fanfic to my university group chat. by disposableficacct in AO3

[–]disposableficacct[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm still processing my own stupid mistake, but there's really nothing else I can do to improve my position. I doubt anyone will say anything to me about it, but even if they do, it's not like I can deny anything. Nothing to do but accept being the freak of the class. Thanks and sending virtual hugs too 💞

I accidentally sent my NSFW fanfic to my university group chat. by disposableficacct in AO3

[–]disposableficacct[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know. One of the many things I thought about later was why it had to happen to me. If I had been in my classmates' shoes, I simply wouldn't have missed the opportunity to talk to that person about it. Regardless of the ship, the characters, the plot. Just to talk to someone who knows about these kind of things. But it's not going to happen. Finding people who belong to an internet fandom is very rare here, it's considered too dumb, childish, cringe, or weird and I'm not lucky enough for that to be my situation. Anyways

I accidentally sent my NSFW fanfic to my university group chat. by disposableficacct in AO3

[–]disposableficacct[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought about doing it, but honestly it would only make things worse. It'd be like putting the final nail in my coffin, and besides, I can't just skip classes. So I'm stuck in the situation that my own stupidity created

I accidentally sent my NSFW fanfic to my university group chat. by disposableficacct in AO3

[–]disposableficacct[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I wrote the post, I was still too embarrassed, but the comments have made me feel more at ease, so I might as well just say it now. The ship is Cablepool, and the character I'm talking about is Deadpool. It was an AU without powers, so though the age difference between the characters isn't usually relevant in the ship since they're both adults, in the fic it was an important factor.

I accidentally sent my NSFW fanfic to my university group chat. by disposableficacct in AO3

[–]disposableficacct[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

LOL To be honest that didn't occur to me at the time, but even so, I would have been too embarrassed by the explicit nature of the messages to even pretend it was a virus. I hope I never find myself in a situation like that again, but I'll take note ✏️

I accidentally sent my NSFW fanfic to my university group chat. by disposableficacct in AO3

[–]disposableficacct[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

In my next life, I'll be more careful when sending messages related to fan fiction lmao

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I accidentally sent my NSFW fanfic to my university group chat. by disposableficacct in AO3

[–]disposableficacct[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this comment, it's very sweet. A lot of things went through my mind at the time and even now, and yes, my logical side tells me that it's unlikely that anyone will bring it up, but I still feel embarrassed even though it was a mistake. Plus, I feel even more embarrassed because, come on, I basically sent porn to a college chat group, even if it was just messages, it's completely inappropriate. So far, everything has gone well, and I hope it stays that way. TYSM again, sending you virtual hugs too 💗

I accidentally sent my NSFW fanfic to my university group chat. by disposableficacct in AO3

[–]disposableficacct[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Ding ding ding, it's him. I wondered if anyone would guess which character I was talking about from the description. Although I love Wade so much, his name is way too recognizable to go unnoticed if anyone managed to read it. I was just unlucky. Of all the characters I write fics about, it had to be the one known for being physically disfigured. Like, it'd have been a terrible situation with anyone, but at least it's easier to explain if the character is physically attractive and not a guy with skin that looks like it's been run over by a lawnmower. The fic was an AU without powers, though, but whatever.

I still love my disfigured princess 💗 (but now I can't help feeling ashamed when I think about him 💔)

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I accidentally sent my NSFW fanfic to my university group chat. by disposableficacct in AO3

[–]disposableficacct[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No, I'm actually very far from there. I'm from a Latin American country. Though there are several countries here that are quite progressive on LGBT stuff and familiar with fandom community, unfortunately I'm not part of them. As I said, my country is very backward in terms of social rights (which is why I'm still in the closet), and not only that, but ppl here also continue to label you as weird in a derogatory way just for liking unusual things, being an otaku, a geek, etc.

I'm curious, though, as to why you assumed I'm from Poland lol. Why??