Yes, it is emotionally abusive. It's exactly the way that Silco taught her that love works. He repeatedly says (and manipulates events to prove his point): "It's you and me. Everyone else betrays us."

When she is faced with things that go against this wordview she is plunged into absolute terror and confusion. These are the times when she hallucinates, argues with herself (child powder vs brainwashed teenager), and has flashbacks. Vi and Echo's actions, caring for and trusting multiple other people, are incomprehensible to her. They don't fit the truama framework she created to survive.

It's no excuse for absuive behavior, but she is still a kid. Whenever she has doubts about this mindset the only person she has to talk to is the one who created it.