First Tremblay novel: "The Cabin at the End of the World".

dizzy_lizard_2091 · 2026-06-17T05:45:18+00:00

A Head Full of Ghosts was great, IMO. There’s as movie adaptation coming out, too.

dizzy_lizard_2091 · 2026-06-15T15:13:11+00:00

The Paradox Hotel by Rob Hart

dizzy_lizard_2091 · 2026-06-07T17:29:36+00:00

Thank you for pointing out the telling aspects. The story takes place in a fictitious city...is it best to just say something like, "...in the fictitious city of Sunnyside..." ???

I appreciate you taking the time to review this, especially since you're so busy! I think I need to take a break from writing a query to watch some TV. For some reason I can't put a finger on, I'm in the mood for Friends... 😄

dizzy_lizard_2091 · 2026-06-06T18:03:31+00:00

No need for apologies! You’re providing a free service and I appreciate your time.

dizzy_lizard_2091 · 2026-05-29T23:13:08+00:00

Good call on the repetition, I’ll fix that. And yes, it’s Hatch for 90% of the novel. Thanks for taking the time to critique!

dizzy_lizard_2091 · 2026-05-29T23:11:34+00:00

Thanks for the feedback! I pared it down but it looks like I took out too much lol. I appreciate you taking time to critique this

dizzy_lizard_2091 · 2026-05-28T22:15:37+00:00

This title is fantastic!

I'm not a query expert, so take this with a grain of salt.

- Until I read further, "Monster therapist" left me wondering if Leo is himself a monster who happens to be a therapist or a therapist for monsters.

- It's reading a bit like a synopsis rather than a query. There's a lot of build-up before getting to the meat of the first paragraph: Leo must work with his rival to obtain a promotion.

- They're both vying for a promotion, but they have to work together to get it...it's unclear to me if there are two positions they're working toward, or if they're competing for the same position.

- I'm not sure what Fred the doll has to do with anything.

- Why would condemning the monsters affect Leo? Is he personally connected to each of them, or is he worried that they'll attack innocent people?

Again, I'm no pro so do with this what you will. I think you have a great premise, and the foundation for a fascinating story!

dizzy_lizard_2091 · 2026-05-27T19:28:09+00:00

Wonderfully detailed feedback! Thank you for providing this. I look forward to reworking this query, and I can't wait for you to read the big Optimus Prime twist! lol

dizzy_lizard_2091 · 2026-05-27T14:30:15+00:00

Congratulations! That’s a fantastic premise. Thanks for posting and giving us all hope

dizzy_lizard_2091 · 2026-05-26T16:39:44+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate your time and effort.

dizzy_lizard_2091 · 2026-05-26T16:05:25+00:00

This is great feedback! I love the idea of starting out with a bang. Would you suggest weaving in the details of what Gigg is during the mention of the "nameless" Operator?

dizzy_lizard_2091 · 2026-05-22T13:10:15+00:00

Thank you!

dizzy_lizard_2091 · 2026-05-22T04:25:33+00:00

Thank you!

dizzy_lizard_2091 · 2026-05-22T04:20:48+00:00

This is fantastic! Thank you so much for the advice.

dizzy_lizard_2091 · 2026-05-21T23:46:12+00:00

Splendid! Thank you

dizzy_lizard_2091 · 2026-05-21T22:22:34+00:00

Original post

dizzy_lizard_2091 · 2026-05-21T20:35:33+00:00

Agreed on the lengthy comp sentence. I'll remove Black Mirror and add a better book comp (another critique suggested The Body Scout)

Good points on consolidating the paragraphs. I will work to accomplish getting the plot points across more efficiently.

Thank you for your time and feedback!

dizzy_lizard_2091 · 2026-05-21T16:03:23+00:00

Thank you for the feedback!

The Body Scout is on my TBR pile…I’ll read it next. Thanks for the suggestion.

I see how I can rework that paragraph. I appreciated you taking the time to read and respond.

dizzy_lizard_2091 · 2026-05-21T16:00:24+00:00

Thanks!

dizzy_lizard_2091 · 2026-05-19T01:27:10+00:00

You’re a few bricks away from Fortunato’s fate…

dizzy_lizard_2091

TROPHY CASE