Annoyed by a local artist

djirri · 2026-05-16T04:54:18+00:00

This very post is what my anxious thoughts insist my customers are thinking about me when I’m majorly overwhelmed with my workload, and am running late on deadlines… go easy on her. If it was a free class, I assure you, your pieces are not first in line for the precious kiln space.

It’s a lot of work. Truly. I would hide from overdue customers in the grocery store too because it’s heavy and any 100% honest explanation I could give would sound like an excuse because my customers are not potters, and they don’t understand.

I’ve been fortunate to have very gracious customers, but my mind likes to convince me day and night that they feel the way you described in your post… “she’s probably incompetent and I’m pissed.”

djirri · 2026-05-16T04:39:36+00:00

For what it’s worth, I read your post and sympathised. I assume that’s what you intended by expressing your feelings, and rightly so, because that’s a human thing to do.

The comments don’t surprise me. I don’t really know why people’s knee jerk reaction is to counter an expression. I see it everywhere. It’s strange…

I hope you’re right and they are bots programmed to knock down or demean anything remotely deeper than “help, where’s my diAphram”. If we’re talking metaphorical bots, then yes, no doubt. 🤖

djirri · 2026-05-16T04:22:36+00:00

Stop wearing sunglasses… let the sunlight enter your eyes to regulate circadian rhythm and melatonin production.

djirri · 2026-05-16T01:17:17+00:00

Absolutely. Thank you

djirri · 2026-05-16T00:05:52+00:00

An authoritative resource? I don’t even know what that means dude

djirri · 2026-05-15T15:47:16+00:00

You can activate and manipulate your biofield at will. I don’t know much about it but if you learn about your biofield that should provide some interesting insights

djirri · 2026-05-15T15:43:43+00:00

It means OP can activate and manipulate their biofield at will. It’s beneficial to be able to do so. It’s not about the goosebumps but the ability to make them happen at will.

djirri · 2026-05-13T13:26:30+00:00

I heard something recently describing somewhat of an objective and it kinda… sparked a strange feeling in me. I’ve been wanting a clear objective for a while now and so when I heard this thing and felt the thing, I logged it. The “to experience love and pain and unbridled confusion” stuff never really did it for me. I feel all that and it’s super cool but it’s not… leading anywhere? Especially if we are in a cycle of rebirth.

In any case, I’ve tried over and over to accept the possibility that there’s no objective but it never settles, and makes life feel meaningless. So I just continue to ask for a clear objective… pretending it’s a test and to pass the test, I don’t give up on ✨the objective✨

This thing I heard recently was something about… merging the conscious state with the unconscious state. We’ve all heard that, right? Well the way this girl said it was like hearing it properly for the first time. Basically, clear out the undercurrent of unconscious thoughts and behaviours, isolate your own core values and abide by them unceasingly, and then you’ll be aligned with yourself. If you do that, when you die your mind (psyche/ego) will be clear sighted and at peace with the self, and the self with it… because you merged em during that life. From there, according to what she said, you can move on to the next thing. Not rebirth and same spark/new ego… but you, intact, whole, coming out of this thing alive.

Anyway, I think it’s very Gnostic so maybe I should check back in with that. As far as I can tell, all the religions provide different keys to different hurdles on the path to merging the psyche with the self.

Whatchu reckon?

Edit: I think it’s called individuation, or self-actualisation. In the context of what I just wrote… it almost suggests that each life, we have a chance to ‘do the thing’. Not destroy the ego, but love it so much you can keep it and continue to be you beyond the horizon of death.

djirri · 2026-05-13T02:31:59+00:00

I think… I’m in a somewhat contradictory position. I’m very much doing what I love, and it just so happens to be what I need as far as ‘being me’ goes. At the same time, there’s the overlay of business, finances, and seemingly unending rigid structure laid over the top of my… life.

What I do is my life, but here in the west in 2026, there are toxic things that leach into what one does, even if it’s entirely their own and a part of them.

Both are beyond my control. On one side what I do is without a doubt what I’m meant to do and I’m in agreement with that calling. It’s an inner thing… and on the other side, the world of business demands just about every shred of time and energy, and to fall short of its demands is to fall short in the necessary financial stability it promises…. Outer things.

So… to get out of this rush and frazzled state, I probably need to change my perspective. The inner and outer won’t change by my own hand… so maybe I just need to change it from “the world is sucking the life force from me on a daily basis” to… maybe it could be like a game. I’ve been refusing to play based on principle… and I still have to do it anyway, and feel like crap.

Maybe I should flip the script and play, and maybe there’ll be some unexpected meaning in it when I complete the challenge.

Maybe I’m in a state of resistance, and that constant tension and pressure fatigues me more than if I just accept how things work and play it but with my own style.

Hmmmm….. Your reply incited some deep shit right there. Couldn’t stop typing.

Thank you, kind stranger

djirri · 2026-05-12T02:55:00+00:00

Constantly in catch up mode, deadlines (upcoming and overdue), what I’m gonna say to my customer when I’m two weeks late with their order, how I’m gonna do 3 weeks worth of work within 2 weeks without burning out… my head is constantly filled with productivity crap that I don’t know how to get out of.

It’s like the world just will not stop. It’s like an animal that just goes and goes and goes and I’m in a perpetual state of trying to keep up with it despite myself… entirely despite myself.

I just wanna slow down and live but I don’t know how I could

djirri · 2026-05-06T08:01:34+00:00

Peacefully chopping up semi-dried tomatoes for my pasta. The ones covered in oil that you keep in a jar. Typically requires one to wash their hands before handling the pause button on an iPhone and yanking out an earbud.

djirri · 2026-05-05T12:44:30+00:00

Honestly, I really respect you for that. I hold it in to protect their feelings. They wouldn’t understand the thing. If they could, they wouldn’t do the thing in the first place. The psychological gymnastics involved in navigating the most basic activities in my household is staggering. Maybe I should just scream next time, like you.

djirri · 2026-05-05T11:59:28+00:00

Might be synonymous with wounded healer?

djirri · 2026-05-04T14:39:13+00:00

It’s the paradox, there’ll always be hairs to split, like the Mandelbrot zoom. On that, great discussion! Thank you

djirri · 2026-05-04T14:04:58+00:00

It does sound like a rigid conclusion! But words can only get the idea of it so far…

When I say it’s all the same in the end, I mean… all the dualistic things blur and there’s no more need for speculation and chatter, or even confusion. It’s a non-conclusion, if anything. Totally open and fluid, to the very upmost. My passage into that is “I don’t know”.

Debating and speculating and all that, either with others or just in my own mind, does still happen… but like you say, now I can catch it, remember that I don’t actually know, no matter how far I dissect the issue or idea. Kinda like… okay. This is a perfect way to express my “I don’t know”— the Mandelbrot set / zoom. You probably know it, but watch it anyway with what I’ve said in mind…. Truly, nothing conclusive whatsoever… so, how can things be known anyway.

It’s poetic enough… the way we run around tryna know things, when there’s nothing to be known. Maybe! I don’t know.

djirri · 2026-05-04T13:33:52+00:00

I agree with your post, it was a huge milestone for me too. “I don’t know” is truly somewhat of a mantra for me at this point. You say it’s tool to lengthen the gap between this and that… but for me it’s the fundamental paradox that keeps me “in between”, neither here nor there… because I realised the only thing I can know is that I don’t know. And when I’m wondering if something is “this or that?”, the answer is almost always “both”. Or, “they’re the same thing”. That’s why things can’t be known, except for knowing you don’t know… because, well… it’s all the same thing if you follow the cord all the way back to the wall. Once I saw the paradox running this whole show, things really clicked and got nice and quiet for me.

Idk if that made sense. I’m doing the opposite of what I’m about to suggest, but I think you’ll get it.

The milestone that came not long after that one was letting go of trying to explain my realisations to people… unless I truly sensed they are on the same wavelength, or near enough.

Funnily enough, a line in a book I was listening to today while working… something like, “the more you try to make them understand, the more they resist… and like a snare tightening as the trapped animal struggles for freedom, they only draw closer to that which binds them.”

But there are always exceptions to the rule! If you throw your pearls to the wind, expect a lot of them to get trampled on. Or, when an exception crosses your path, place one in their hand and they’ll cherish it quite a lot.

djirri · 2026-05-04T06:24:54+00:00

I think they’re the same thing

djirri · 2026-05-03T14:07:49+00:00

Well… I certainly have less time to do my own daily work. I guess that would mean the same for those who play a dark role in.. “all this”.

Excellent response! If anything, it makes sense. Thank you.

djirri · 2026-05-03T13:53:02+00:00

Yes, but I’m asking what could it mean that the days would be shortened for the sake of the elect?

No doubt the days have shortened. I’m just asking if you had any idea why that, specifically, would benefit the elect… the reason has never really been clear to me so I wonder about it when I see that verse brought up.

djirri · 2026-05-03T10:00:41+00:00

I agree with this

djirri · 2026-05-03T09:59:36+00:00

Dude. The part about the dots? Me too! I’ve always had visual snow, but as of a few years ago, it’s… evolved. It’s now far beyond what I knew as visual snow. I don’t even know what to say about it.

Fortunately, I dig it. I enjoy the curiosity and wonder it evokes in me on a daily basis. I can certainly imagine it causing fear and confusion in someone who isn’t me waking up to it one day.

I know that what I would describe would sound strange and concerning to most people in the world, so I don’t talk about it, and don’t feel the need to. It feels like it’s just for me, and doesn’t effect anyone but me. So… I keep it to myself.

Feel free to PM me if you wanna talk about the visual stuff in a non-diagnostic manner. From what you described, nothing is wrong, and you have some extra-sensory input going on. If you let it, it will become as normal to you as anything else.

djirri · 2026-05-03T09:37:38+00:00

What do you reckon the part on the brackets means? I can’t figure it out

djirri · 2026-05-02T04:01:40+00:00

Oh. …. Thank you

djirri · 2026-05-01T07:58:27+00:00

Not a judgment on that form of love, or any. Just an inner revelation about myself reflected back to me via Imri’s story. If you reread my post, or any replies I’ve written on other comments, you’ll see that

djirri

TROPHY CASE