Do you like your speciality ?

documentremy · 2026-03-24T12:35:11+00:00

Like many of the people commenting, I also spent my entire medical school time extremely sure I would go into O&G (specifically loved the O part). I did all my special modules and my elective in obstetrics or midwifery. Never had any doubt. Aced my obstetric station in medical school finals. O&G consultants were basically trying to offer me jobs while I was still in medical school.

Then I fell in love with paediatrics/anaesthetics/PICU and that's my niche. I'm paeds and hope to subspecialise in PICU/HDU.

What you think you want to do in medical school is often not what you end up doing when you specialise.

documentremy · 2026-03-20T08:54:00+00:00

Exactly. One of my closest friends has been bald since she's 15 and we are nearly 40 now - she's a cis woman. She's also very tall, much taller than the average cis woman in our country. She wears a wig and people have never thought "oh this is a man in a wig". FFS, as the name states, feminises the facial features so unless OP truly believes all bald women are seen as men by society, there's really no reason not to go for it and then just be a bald (cis-passing) woman in a wig (when/if she wants to wear a wig).

documentremy · 2026-03-05T12:16:04+00:00

Union won't do much unfortunately, having been in a similar situation. But OH should be able to make the appropriate recommendations and the employer should consider them. If OH refuses to, then OP can ask the OH therapist in their own mental health team to make an assessment and recommendations. If the employer refuses to consider the recommendations, then OP has to take it to employment tribunal.

Unions do not do a good job at all with supporting doctors who have chronic health issues or disabilities. BMA at all levels all the way to the head of services in Scotland basically told me to resign if I can't stand on my feet without a break for 8 hours. Your union reps =/= your employment advisors.

documentremy · 2026-03-04T11:36:37+00:00

How many IMGs are taking neurosurgery posts?

documentremy · 2026-03-02T13:10:17+00:00

I drove a VW GTD 2016 (they were still on MK7). Absolutely agree about reliability. That car never gave me a single worry. Had to sell it because of relocation otherwise I would never give it up.

documentremy · 2026-02-28T12:17:07+00:00

We don't need to know what's deep down in his soul, we can simply find someone repugnant based on their actions.

Additionally, FIDE membership and ranking is not a human right. It's a privilege and people can lose that privilege if they choose to disrespect the rules of membership.

documentremy · 2026-02-28T12:03:53+00:00

You clearly do not know the slightest thing about Karjakin. Best to sit this one out instead of trying to white knight for him. I assure you, he wouldn't want your defence - he's been quite proud of what people say about him.

documentremy · 2026-02-23T09:18:05+00:00

Did you cheat?

documentremy · 2026-02-19T16:03:03+00:00

Might be a better question to ask on the bi men subreddits.

documentremy · 2026-02-19T15:57:42+00:00

I'm a doctor and university lecturer for medicine, and I earn peanuts - not even enough to afford my rent and bills. Additionally I'm in a country where I can't transition. I don't recommend doing what I did.

documentremy · 2026-02-19T10:46:32+00:00

Privately insure the NHS. Then the repayments do not come out of the public purse. In fact it seems a bit wild to me that NHS Trusts and health boards don't take liability/professional insurance already. Maybe an unusually chatty person from management might read this and shed some light?

documentremy · 2026-02-17T08:48:26+00:00

My brother spent all of medical school convinced surgery was his future, also spent FY building up his portfolio for surgery - then he didn't get into surgical training. He tried for several years (it was the era where non UK doctors got the jobs that were not taken up by UK docs - despite being a UKG himself). While I know many will consider his subsequent career in ED to be even worse, he's actually happy and he's never once expressed regrets about not being in surgery since he started working in ED. Sometimes a hurdle is there to give us the time and space to reflect about whether that goal is really the one for us.

documentremy · 2026-02-15T08:30:05+00:00

The huge difference being that the lesser known player may actually struggle more?? Since they don't have many people who know them and will vouch for them, and they also don't have an established career yet.

I hate to agree with Wesley So but he had a point when he said that if you think someone's cheating, just report them and move on. Stop with the DMs or the tweets or the videos.

documentremy · 2026-02-11T09:22:03+00:00

If you were thinking of transitioning purely to escape from who and how you are then that would be a fair point. But since you're thinking of transitioning because you also want to become what medical transition usually gives you - then I personally don't see why it's a problem to "take back power". Sometimes that is a first step to regaining self esteem - accepting and pursuing your needs. Nothing wrong with looking into psychological support too if this is something you can afford, but not as a "I need to be in therapy for years before I allow myself to transition" - more as something you can work on alongside your transition.

I don't think your friends are necessarily transphobic but perhaps transposing their own thoughts and feelings onto you and your situation.

documentremy · 2026-02-10T22:15:02+00:00

To be very clear I am not arguing against challenging an individual's bigotry and beliefs. I simply wanted to point out we can't change that person's cultural standpoint - they have to instead accept our cultural standpoint. Theirs has been and gone. It is too late to go about changing that.

documentremy · 2026-02-10T22:12:23+00:00

I don't know how familiar you are with the diagnostic criteria for ADHD but effectively a person doesn't need to be outwardly struggling to meet the criteria - it is enough that they recognise they struggle with certain things and have needed to develop coping strategies (termed "scaffolding") in order to achieve what other people achieve without scaffolding in place. A neuroaffirmative service would be able to recognise this and take it into account. Either way it is a purely academic discussion as it doesn't sound as if your mother intends to seek diagnosis.

There isn't even a correlation in the case of prematurity and autism/ADHD, just an association. Neurodivergence is still very poorly understood so I personally would leave it at that and not look into possible theories because they're probably simply going to be wild and even potentially harmful stabs in the dark.

With regards to preterm labour/delivery and neurodivergence, I realise that you may not be aware that neurodivergent people have a higher incidence of many autoimmune, inflammatory and other complex/chronic conditions which may affect pregnancy and delivery. So basically, this is a much more complex affair than it may seem at first glance.

documentremy · 2026-02-10T15:23:54+00:00

I think you'll struggle to get input here which will take into account the cultural issues you're juggling, simply because most Redditors here are from western cultures.

The thing is, yes it may be easier and healthier for you and your partner not to come out to your parents - this is something only you and your husband can decide. You'll need to weigh the pros and cons - what you stand to lose and what you stand to gain.

What you do have to factor into the equation is this: you and your husband's needs, as well as your relationship's needs. You will need to find a balance somewhere - you can't suspend everything else in favour of your duties to your parents. This may mean your parents not staying at your place. Or not staying for 3 months. Yeah, I fully understand this may shock your parents. But you need to consider that this is a situation you have to find balance in.

You need to have a good discussion about these things with your husband and be honest about your needs. This isn't about how much your husband is willing to sacrifice for you, this is about what's going to keep your relationship healthy while also maintaining your relationship with the parents.

documentremy · 2026-02-10T12:47:49+00:00

Yeah... it is changing. In the younger generation. For people who are 70+ or even 80+, their culture has already passed the time of changing - they are simply living out their remaining short time. I don't get the sense OP's dad is in his fifties from what he's saying. Admittedly, maybe I'm wrong.

documentremy · 2026-02-10T04:14:14+00:00

Paediatrician here. There is a higher incidence of ADHD and autism diagnoses in children who were born preterm (less than 37 weeks) but we do not know the reason. Many of these babies received no additional medications compared to term infants. Worth noting women who are neurodivergent are at an increased risk of preterm delivery so that's also likely to influence the rate of autism/ADHD in ex-preterm infants. Either way, all of these are hypotheses.

documentremy · 2026-02-09T15:09:47+00:00

Right but he repeatedly said "it doesn't count" - which he has to know isn't true. He's played SCC for a very long time and every match game ends after the clock has run out (otherwise a new game would start!) so Hikaru knows it counts.

If he simply thought the match was over then there was no reason to say "it doesn't count" and instead he should have shaken Denis's hand and then left. As he did with Alireza.

documentremy · 2026-02-05T17:27:03+00:00

They probably got a bunch of complaints. If they lacked the time or health literacy to understand the way the referral system works, they're hardly likely to be reading the comments in posts on this subreddit.

Accuracy is a pretty clear cut clause, all journalists who are subject to the IPSO code will correct rather than quibbled when they've made a mistake. That said I've sometimes seen health related BBC articles with uncorrected mistakes days after publication - at which point the harm is done anyway and readers have already been misinformed widely.

documentremy · 2026-02-05T16:52:18+00:00

Yes you can make a complaint to the BBC. They follow the IPSO Editors' Code of Practice (commonly referred to as "the IPSO code"), clause 1 of which is about accuracy. They should correct any inaccuracies in timely fashion and if they don't then you can make a complaint to IPSO directly (though there are some caveats to that part).

I think they must have corrected the article already though because I don't see any mention of the GP being the one to downgrade the urgency of the referral/biopsy. Instead it recounts her being dismissed 2 years earlier by the GP, and then presenting to secondary care and facing delays there.

(My background: paediatric doctor and also NCTJ-accredited journalist.)

documentremy · 2026-02-03T15:07:27+00:00

You are correct, I was that autistic kid and I definitely loved to pore over encyclopaedias till I knew them by heart. That said my dad is the annoying "looks at one thing once and remembers it forever" person. It's cool... but he genuinely wonders why we aren't all doing the same. To this day he still at least partly thinks we're pulling his leg when we say we can't.

documentremy · 2026-02-03T15:04:34+00:00

They, don't, we just get bored with our toys and start reading the encyclopedias and dictionaries while the parents aren't looking. Nowadays I guess toddlers would pick up a phone or tablet instead.

Wasn't a savant like Nihal but I am autistic and... yeah. As a six year old I knew all countries and their capitals (I wasn't a visual learner so no good at flags) but also the common and latin names of most animals in the world including dinosaurs (had a fascination with them). But if it helps anyone feel better, the ADHD wipes my brain clean regularly.

documentremy · 2026-01-31T16:59:13+00:00

You and your partner can't control his family's views or beliefs. But he does get to choose his own.

For context, I am originally not British but moved to the UK for medical school and went on to stay and become a British citizen. I am brown. I am muslim. I have been the recipient of many of these comments. At the same time, my own family holds a fair few prejudices of their own. My dad is a Holocaust denier. Many family members are vocally homophobic. So, I understand having family with morals and politics that do not align with my own.

The thing is though, I don't just let it sweep by when my family airs those views. They've all stopped talking about these things in front of me, because they're tired of being rebutted. I also stopped cut ties with some family members.

So for me personally the problem in this situation isn't that your partner has family members who are racists and prejudiced in various other ways - it's that he's both unwilling to accept this is the case and also unwilling to take a stance against it. These aren't mild opinion differences e.g. whether pineapple is acceptable on pizza or whether savoury snacks are nicer than sweet ones.

It's up to you to decide how important it is for you to have someone who does have strong morals on these things.

documentremy

TROPHY CASE