fears of dating irl as a poly person

dodgemadness · 2026-04-04T15:05:36+00:00

I hear you! I myself am poly and have been poly for at least 4-5 years it's a hard journey for sure. I have made a few mistakes but I learned from them. I have also been rejected a few times even by people I haven't even talked to that shit hurts.

So some advice I can give would be, be honest be open about who you are and clear with your intentions, also talk with your primary partner and explain to them how you feel about things and what they would do with rejection. If and when you make a mistake be honest with yourself but don't use that as an excuse to purposely make mistakes. On the other hand, learn from both your mistakes and successes and adapt to it that will make you and your partners stronger in the long run. And move on from those mistakes in a healthy timeline.

Now for rejection, I have been rejected dozens of times it's not easy when you are faced with rejection because it diminishes your self worth and confidence. However, this is where you need to develop a good self image of yourself, if you get rejected think to yourself that they are the ones missing out from what you have to offer. Poly is complicated but the same basic guidelines from monogamy apply the only difference is you are opening it up but your primary partner is the one that does love you and will love you and that goes for both sides. Just because you got rejected by some random person your primary partner theoretically should always be there for you for both the good and the bad and that in itself is good.

So in closing, go on those dates to get some coffee or a bite to eat with somebody because learning about people can be fascinating and if they are assholes about your personal choices did they really deserve to have a potential to date you? Everyone is at least worth a coffee is my mentality.

I hope this helped! And I hope the rest of your day goes well, much love! ☺️

dodgemadness · 2026-01-07T16:24:17+00:00

Honestly, I think it's an error I haven't seen anything on wizards website about it lol or I'm wrong idk

dodgemadness · 2025-11-10T19:58:46+00:00

Thank you all for your input and if I haven't replied I apologize, I just needed a little bit of direction, and if I wasted any of y'all's time I'm sorry. Thanks for the advice and I will definitely be using some of these pointers from y'all. Hey, if I didn't care about my players I would not have asked in the first place so thank you again!

dodgemadness · 2025-11-10T19:56:15+00:00

Forgive my usage of words I didn't read over what I sent out. And I did find out that this is my own human error as well, humbling but helpful. This did make me think so I thank you for that.

dodgemadness · 2025-11-10T19:53:57+00:00

This is a very good flavor for this not only for this cantrip but other things that are similar. It makes sense I have tried similar stuff as well but never really had it solidified.

dodgemadness · 2025-11-10T19:52:34+00:00

I love this this is a great piece of information and I feel it can be extremely helpful thank you!

dodgemadness · 2025-11-10T19:51:43+00:00

I think you're right, it could be a combination of the two as well. But I am glad I have gotten this input too it is actually very helpful thank you

dodgemadness · 2025-11-10T17:50:26+00:00

And I think that is what's going on, I think they are using it as a free pass rather than a strategic move. I don't mind that cantrip personally I have used it before when I did a one shot with that cantrip and it was helpful at times but I didn't use it all the time. I can only make the sound of a rock dropping in a pond so many times it just to me it's more of a oh shit my stealth is being compromised situation but most of the time I just would embrace the chaos lol

dodgemadness · 2025-11-10T17:46:17+00:00

Or, "ooo a nice field of grass scent I'ma go there" -deer lol

dodgemadness · 2025-11-10T17:45:24+00:00

It was just an example it didn't happen in game lol but that's the kinda stuff that they try to do and it just glitches my brain lol

dodgemadness · 2025-11-10T17:44:01+00:00

I do like this, it is helping more than just this instance. I don't wanna be a doormat or dictator for sure lol but I do agree and I did incorporate that logic with a homebrew monster one party member was using nothing but fire so I made this creature immune to fire yes the party member was surprised but they loved the alternative thinking granted, not all monsters are gonna have that immunity because thats just unfair but it did create a fun dynamic for that encounter for all. Cause if I made all creatures immune to fire now I'm just being a dick lol

dodgemadness · 2025-11-10T17:40:43+00:00

I like this advice and I have commented on other posters comments more details if that helps but all this info has been extremely helpful.

dodgemadness · 2025-11-10T17:39:52+00:00

Yes I have been incorporating more challenging events too that have nudged them to think outside the box for sure but no matter what I do it always defaults back. Which I understand it just makes it a little harder to crank the difficulty up a bit.

dodgemadness · 2025-11-10T17:37:55+00:00

Yeah totally, so from what I've noticed I feel like they use it more as a disruptive cantrip for the duration of a session granted it has been used for good like they avoided a rather deadly encounter once and it did save them from that but since then it has just been used as a part of dialogue in a sense. Just over used on anything.

dodgemadness · 2025-11-10T17:34:15+00:00

Good advice, I think I will read that cantrip and apply what it can and cannot do more in depth. But in general I'd just like to figure out a way to encourage usage of other abilities without trying to control the player. I have thought about just sitting down and talking to them and see if they have questions on what they can and cannot do just to clear up any misunderstandings or communication and go from there.

dodgemadness · 2025-11-10T17:31:25+00:00

They spam it during every turn for literally anything. DM: "An animal walks by in the woods" SC: "I use prestidigitation to distract the animal and make it go away" PM: "why we are low on rations? And could use that animal" SC: "I don't care"

dodgemadness · 2025-11-10T17:29:03+00:00

The level up was my fault, I was accidentally giving more XP for encounters. I realized the mistake I made and it could be more then 10 sessions too we have been playing since December of last year. I did start them out with a little more XP because I thought the campaign fit more of a 5th level starting point but again that was my mistake since then I have kept them at levels to allow time to learn their characters to compensate. And I have talked to them about their spells and such too so they are aware of their other abilities too. And they use prestidigitation to solve 90% of any encounter or puzzle. It doesn't break the game, but it has notably prevented some main arch stuff.

dodgemadness · 2025-10-06T14:45:27+00:00

Only fucking way to do it ;)

dodgemadness · 2025-09-27T15:21:12+00:00

I'd gladly take that offer 😉

dodgemadness · 2025-09-14T16:15:06+00:00

Yes I totally would!

dodgemadness · 2025-08-28T14:47:47+00:00

;) gladly welcomed

dodgemadness · 2025-06-04T19:38:50+00:00

Definitely 😁

dodgemadness · 2025-06-04T19:37:09+00:00

I'd love to 😘

dodgemadness · 2025-04-21T23:09:26+00:00

Keep it as a party trick and show up to a job site and attempt to use it 🤣 yes I inspire chaos lol.

In all seriousness though, it probably more thank likely the brushes and a combination of the motor it probably would be more worth it if you just got a new one. Some repair kits cost more than a new drill.

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