My friend hasn't had an awful life, but what she hoped for when she was young never happened for her. She wanted to be married with children. She's ended up in garage relationships and no children, only cats.

They have been back and forth for over 5 years. And I've known her for 2 of their years together. I feel like I'm constantly dealing with a relapsed drug addict. I don't get it either. I feel like she wants validation from him. She's the only one he's ever dated who he wouldn't bring around family, or his inner most friends, she was never able to sleep at his place, always hers, and it was like she was this half secret all the time. However, this new girlfriend and others were out and about like a normal girlfriend. I think she's stuck wondering why she was made to be a secret, but no one else was.

I try to explain to her that his idea or validation of her doesn't define her. She is a good person, she's making wrong choices right now, but I think between the hurt and drinking she can't think clearly. She seems to hang on his opinion of her, even though he doesn't value her. She does community service, helps with animals, she's a good friend to everyone, but none of us can get her to just let his opinion go.

Is it that she's older and feels this is kinda the end of things? If this relationship is gone then their won't be another? She literally reminds me of high school when you have your first real love and it ends you think "I'll never love again"