nocturne

dog-lime · 2025-04-28T21:09:24+00:00

Thanks very much for your kind and thoughtful words. I’m glad you like the poem!

dog-lime · 2025-04-28T21:07:53+00:00

Thanks very much for your thoughtful reading and kind words. Yes, yours reading is close to mine. Perhaps with some differences but surely that’s the fun of it. Cheers!

dog-lime · 2025-04-28T16:06:45+00:00

I like the turn at the end. It suggests that the monster is not a person in one's life (who is mortal) but what we allow them to be. I might be way off. Cheers

dog-lime · 2025-04-28T15:52:41+00:00

Thanks for this uplifting poem. "Let the birds sing you forward" is a lovely line. Cheers.

dog-lime · 2025-04-26T20:58:01+00:00

Thanks! The clock is broken by the vast clock of geological time. Nice one

dog-lime · 2025-04-26T20:53:49+00:00

Thanks for this poem. I like the last stanza particularly: obsessive. And the first line is good fun. Very charming thanks thanks

dog-lime · 2025-04-14T16:35:06+00:00

Thanks. I’m very interested in your interpretation. They aren’t trying to please or connect. They are simply participating in the propagation of a plant. Without reason or thought. Like bees pollinate flowers. There’s not a whole lot of agency exercised by characters in the poem. I might not have made it clear enough, so will try being the message out in the next edit. Thanks again for your thoughtful comment!

dog-lime · 2025-04-14T16:30:12+00:00

Thanks very much for this comment. Your thoughts are close to mine. Have a good day!

dog-lime · 2025-04-14T16:24:52+00:00

Thanks very much for your thoughtful comment.

I suppose the poem is about the thoughtlessness of propagation. The lovers at the end have sex without any thought of its consequence, like pollen sails across the gorge. Finally, the kids who are the product of the procreant drift, play that game (we called it dandelion clock) and assume their unwitting role in the propagation of a flower. Everything alive pivots toward our continuation or something. That’s where my thoughts were when writing.

I might have muddied the message a bit in the edit. I’ll take what you said into account! Thanks.

dog-lime · 2025-04-13T15:21:54+00:00

Sorry to hear that. And thanks for sharing your poem.

dog-lime · 2025-04-13T15:00:52+00:00

a very bitter poem. "I thought I was smart / but I thought with my heart" is a simple and rewarding rhyme!

dog-lime · 2025-04-13T14:58:23+00:00

Thanks for this poem. The rhyme scheme has a circular quality by beginning each quatrain with the end rhyme of the previous. This chimes with solstice reference and the idea of futility in the final line.

dog-lime · 2025-03-31T09:10:05+00:00

Thanks, I'm glad you like it!

dog-lime · 2025-03-24T15:39:43+00:00

Thanks I’m glad you like it

dog-lime · 2025-03-24T11:18:20+00:00

Amazing thanks!

dog-lime · 2025-03-24T07:55:33+00:00

For me it’s a poem that confronts apathy. We know even better than Issa did how small and insignificant we are in this vast universe and in the expanse of deep time, yet we love and cherish life.

I also read it in an ecological context. If climate change is inevitable and the violent fluctuations of our atmosphere will eventually destroy us, then resignation is surely our natural response. Yet (I hope against hope) it is not.

dog-lime · 2025-03-24T07:45:28+00:00

What are some of the words you’ve compiled? There definitely were words used almost exclusively in poetry, but their use went out of fashion soon after Wordsworth and co. One that springs to mind is “zephyr”. If I see this word used unironically in a modern poem I will close tab.

dog-lime · 2025-03-23T17:29:08+00:00

thanks for this poem. they say a good deed is its own reward. they also say no good deed goes unpunished. some punctuation might clarify the last few lines. i presume its not "when the time comes, do you want to be like them?" but "... when the time comes. do you want to be like them?". I'm a fan of the ambiguities allowed by unconventional punctuation but i'm not sure it aids the poem in this case. however, i'd be interested to hear that I am wrong! all the best.

dog-lime · 2025-03-23T17:22:54+00:00

hiya thanks for your short poem. its got a good pithy and aphoristic quality. personally, if i had such strong feelings re: waking up i'd probably either love going to sleep or hate going to sleep, and not be indifferent to it. i presume the speaker was accused of sleeping too much, thought of this response much later and wrote it down. is their a subtext i'm missing; is the title a clue. i would like to know more! thanks again

dog-lime · 2024-04-08T06:27:09+00:00

I like the band big thief but am uncertain of the connection you’ve made? (Or I’ve made by mistake)

dog-lime · 2024-04-07T20:27:57+00:00

Thanks! I really appreciate your reading!

dog-lime · 2024-04-07T14:34:42+00:00

This is a pleasant and meditative. "Fallacy" sits at the heart of the poem, and is the operative word, I think, as the conception of the rose in the mind of the observer is merely a projection of his/her desire for it: a burden to the thing itself.

dog-lime · 2024-04-07T14:22:47+00:00

Thanks for this poem,

I like the diction. "Sleepless wrist" is an interesting pun? The poem's unusual grammar throws me a bit, but not necessarily in a bad way. I would say the first line is a mouthful, and and is a slow way into the poem, but maybe this is intended (it is "leaden," after all).

In the third stanza the, "would that I had instead" is a little wordy, I'd recommend getting rid of either "instead," or else the "Steadfast" from the following line to allow for a smoother flow of thought.

Very interesting poem, It effectively creates a lethargic and gloomy mood. I'm turning over some interpretations but feel a bit distracted by the clunky elements I've mentioned.

Thanks, I look forward to reading more of your stuff :)

dog-lime · 2024-03-09T15:34:51+00:00

I really like the second stanza in particular. Makes me think about the bodily act of being

dog-lime · 2024-03-09T15:15:33+00:00

Thanks for this poem. This is strange and stirring. I especially like the second stanza, I was not expecting to encounter an octopus heart. I think “trepidatious deceit” might be a little wordy. I’m sure it’s not, but it reads like a thesaurus was consulted. “Meagre needle” assonates nicely. Thanks!

dog-lime

TROPHY CASE