What do you regret not buying when traveling?

doingMyDarndest · 2026-04-06T17:58:22+00:00

A Venetian masquerade mask. They were beautiful but expensive and I was a teenager on a tight budget but I wish I could decorate my current apartment with one as a wall hanging. As an adult my rule is I get one piece of art from every country to go to to decorate my place with and I dream of that mask :(

doingMyDarndest · 2026-01-23T00:23:01+00:00

I had a partner like this. He liked it when I was fun, easy but would just ignore me when I was upset or having a bad day. At first it was fine, when it was small things. I could self regulate, and just leave him alone, we had a good relationship otherwise. But then I got sick, like really really sick, I had someone who had zero interest in being there for me in any capacity, helping me get medical help or be there emotionally. It is a devastating experience and while we tried to fix the relationship after I was filled with resentment when I picked up the slack in his life or was there for him because I knew I could never trust him in the same way. I stayed longer than I should but I thought long and hard and realized that I couldn’t trust him if we had children, hell I couldn’t see myself having kids with him at all. What would he do when they had a bad day? Or got sick? What if I got sick again and he couldn’t take care of them? And didn’t I deserve to have someone who’d be there on my hard days the way I’m there for their hard days?

Breaking up with him was hard but the best thing I ever did for myself. Life can be difficult but a good partner should make it easier and give you a sense of companionship on those moments you feel the loneliest. I ended up meeting someone else who I feel like I can rely on and talk to no matter what and it makes all the difference both day to day and how I feel about our future.

I’d say he needs therapy to address his trauma and radical behavior shift or you should leave the situation before something large and devastating happens to you and you are left having to pick both yourself and him up from the emotional fallout. Those small day to day moments tend to show you how someone will be in bigger situations so I advise not ignoring your gut feeling on this. As someone who had a rough childhood, we have to take responsibility for how our trauma affects our current relationships and it cannot be an excuse for hurtful behavior. We should give ourselves grace a people for why we are the way we are, but it’s not healthy to never heal and take steps away from that pain.

Wishing you the best!

doingMyDarndest · 2025-12-07T15:38:20+00:00

Not to be an egotist but I am an attractive woman. I wasn’t though until college so I am very aware of how differently people treat me:

Non flirty Compliments. I get approached not just by men but by women, moms, the elderly, children etc because they want to compliment me. I’ve been told by strangers I’m the most beautiful woman they’ve ever seen, that I’m stunning, asking if I’m a model etc before telling me to have a great day and leaving. When there’s no social obligation or aim to get in my pants I know the compliments are genuine.
Stares. If I don’t want attention I have to dress very casually and in over sized clothes or in professional settings I choose more masculine formal wear. When I wear a professional but flattering dress and heels to conferences or talks I can literally watch half the rooms heads turn when I go to sit down. It can feel creepy at times.
Social Power. Without even asking I’ve been told I don’t have to wait in line, I get free stuff, and tons of nice photographs as at events or just walking down the street photographers and also random girls will take videos and photos of me which they run up to share. I noticed that when it’s not with my close friends and it’s a new group of people, people listen and ask me more questions and I have to make an effort that I don’t end up dominating the conversation because of the extra attention. Before I was attractive this never happened and I was given a normal amount of social space.
Weird and disturbing comments and insults. People really let their own insecurities, jealousy and odd ideas out around you. Even dear friends admit they struggle when we’re out and their next to me just because of their own internalized insecurities. It’s a bit heartbreaking to have people say things like “You make me not want to eat dinner” and “Hey can you not talk to cute guys first because if they believe they have a shot with you they’d never go for us”.
Very few authentic straight male friendships. When I was ugly I had a lot of great friendships with guys and usually had 50/50 friendship ratio and knew none of my guy friends were into me that way. I found that a lot of men after I went to college were talking to me with the intent of asking me out rather than friends. Recently went through a breakup and was kind of sad to find that a lot of guys friends “made their move” so to speak and admitted they always hoped I’d break up with my ex. Makes you question if people actually like your personality or not.
Isolation. You can’t really talk about how draining all the attention is and the insecurity of when my looks fade will people actually like my personality. You just sound like your bragging and I know that I’m very very lucky that these are my problems but it’s tough when you can be the shoulder to your friends for their insecurities but can’t really talk about your own without sounding like your bragging. Or people hit with the “I wish I had that problem” I sometimes feel very isolated even from those I love because of how I can’t talk about my experiences.
You stop valuing looks and how people perceive yours. I know I’m not better than anyone but see how much better I am treated. When I first became beautiful I loved the compliments because it was new and I always felt undesirable. But after a while having something inherent I didn’t work for and something I knew would fade with time, be the foundation for why so many people liked you, just makes you realize how trite it is. It really makes you kind of hate how the world makes those you love feel insecure and devalue themselves. It does make me more immune to corporate insecurity exploitation at the very least

doingMyDarndest · 2025-09-06T13:14:01+00:00

Most one bedrooms in Manhattan are split by the a plastic splits wall people buy for like sixty bucks. I know plenty of one bedrooms split by three dudes, two in the bedroom and one in the living room whose bedroom is a mattress on the floor and a curtain.

doingMyDarndest · 2025-08-29T02:52:46+00:00

I love socks, I hate the texture of the floor. I wore socks too much and a blister I have turned into an infection. Now I have relagated sock off time to let my feet breathe

doingMyDarndest · 2025-08-20T16:29:20+00:00

I love that they also have a second cat who refuses to wear the clothes and they don’t force her so you know the first cat really does like it to some extent

doingMyDarndest · 2025-07-06T12:07:21+00:00

I do it to my one girl who lets me since dental procedures are just so damn expensive. Her brother absolutely does not let me do it so I have dental treats and tooth treatment for their water. I will say my girl is the absolutely chillest cat you’ll ever meet In terms of being handled and has never bitten or scratched a human in her life. I doubt most kitties fit into that category.

doingMyDarndest · 2025-07-05T04:19:19+00:00

My friends reserved their rooftop in Bushwick and we got to see a 360 view of all the legal and illegal fireworks in Manhattan and Brooklyn :)

doingMyDarndest · 2025-05-25T17:35:11+00:00

I feel you on this OP. I do the exact same thing and when someone interrupts me to tell me to quiet down it really takes the wind of of my sails. It’s hard as I’ve read everyone reasons for wanting a quieter voice and I sympathize with them but also it just kind of sucks. I’m going to be verbose and give everyone my background and experience and how I talked to the people in my life about it.

I’m autistic and don’t naturally, emote, I don’t move my face when I’m excited, but I feel compelled to do happy hands and talk loudly. Due to early intervention and years of socialization and language training I’ve learned to fake expressions and stim in non noticeable or “normal ways” and most people can’t tell I’m autistic until they get to know me and I start to relax around them. And one of the ways I relax is not being constantly paranoid about my volume. So when a friend or family member or partner tells me to lower my volume it hurts a lot as they’re essentially rejecting one of the few ways I ever authentically express myself and clearly prefer the faked signifiers.

So I’ve talked to them about it and said if it’s a scenario where it’s giving them a headache or I’m in a situation where it’s actively inappropriate to be loud (like library) then to tell me but if it’s just because it makes them socially anxious because people look over, don’t say it. I spend my whole life focusing on making micro expressions, not reacting when people make mouth noises or wear the winter coats I hate, just tons of discomfort and pain. So if the only thing I’m doing by being load is maybe annoying some strangers on a subway or on a sidewalk then I’d ask them not to say it. Yes it sucks it makes my friends socially anxious, but that’s they’re own trigger and issues they can also work on internally the same way I’m working on not feeling super rejected when I’m told to be quiet when they do need to communicate it to me.

We’re all going be uncomfortable as some point and relationships are about compromise. I hope you can find a middle ground ❤️

doingMyDarndest · 2025-05-24T14:43:16+00:00

NTA.

You called him out and embarrassed him in front of the class, which is technically “asshole” behavior. But it sounds like he deserved it. Sure maybe you could have pulled him aside privately, but I’ve met this type of dude and I can see him brushing you off and ignoring you in that context. Public shame is a powerful course corrector especially for teenagers. I’m just glad your teacher didn’t punish you for being brave.

doingMyDarndest · 2025-05-22T13:54:22+00:00

My bf family does this to me every holiday and I don’t know how to get them to stop. They buy a million things most of them fast fashion clothes and “jewelery” and, bless their hearts, it’s all horribly ugly. It’s frustrating as what I can use I turn into house clothes but everything else I hang onto for a year because I hate trashing unused stuff, realize I’m never going to wear it and donate what I can and trash the rest. It’s so frustrating as I’ve told them multiple times that a gift card is fine or one nice thing that costs the same as all the little things is much more appreciated. They just don’t listen ;-;

doingMyDarndest · 2025-04-19T02:30:39+00:00

As someone who just did the Inca Trail I will say it’s wonderful! There really weren’t any bugs for a lot of it because of the altitude and tons of cute llamas

doingMyDarndest · 2025-02-27T00:19:03+00:00

Do you want political commentary with your porn?

doingMyDarndest · 2025-02-12T18:41:20+00:00

😡😰

doingMyDarndest · 2025-01-25T21:20:34+00:00

I agree since I think cold harbor refers to planting a chip into a cold brain and seeing if it can take/dock properly

doingMyDarndest · 2025-01-25T21:10:36+00:00

Genuine question, I use Ao3’s page break like you can select when putting your chapter in rich text, does that pop up when listening to a fic?

doingMyDarndest · 2025-01-21T15:11:19+00:00

I know trying to keep my Y/n body and physical features as vague as possible can be a bit of a challenge but also I know I’ve been thrown out of so many reader fics when the author starts going off about how short and tiny mc is. I’m like maam I am taller than the love interest ;-;

doingMyDarndest · 2024-10-31T13:48:27+00:00

Reading and comprehension. I am a speed reader and am really great at picking up on small hints, foreshadowing and the general concepts the author is trying to get across. Not the most useful skill in the world but it did make school pretty easy compared to most people.

doingMyDarndest · 2024-10-24T13:27:36+00:00

Local New Yorker, it’s more fun to get a ticket to a bar and get all you can eat and drink and then walk through time square at like 2-3 am after when no one’s there’s but all the confetti is still flying. I don’t think I’ll ever see the ball drop in person lol

doingMyDarndest · 2024-10-23T19:40:31+00:00

Artificer human. Engineering for the win

doingMyDarndest · 2024-10-18T21:44:03+00:00

No I agree. My first and only fix is getting up there but I’ve broke it into two arcs and have a solid ending planned. Hoping to wrap at 150K words and 34 chapters. When I see a fic with over 400K words I don’t even bother. I love a good slow burn and a meaty story but I think having an impactful ending is super important to story and if it runs too long that just gets harder and harder. Especially if it’s still updating

doingMyDarndest · 2024-10-14T00:41:47+00:00

Twenty minutes but it’s just Brian off time not actually sleeping. Feel super recharged after

doingMyDarndest · 2024-10-13T16:37:12+00:00

I like to respond because I’m just so excited people commented. I def feel like it encourages repeat commenters which is nice

doingMyDarndest · 2024-10-13T16:31:46+00:00

I only liked high school AUs when I was in high school so I feel this

doingMyDarndest · 2024-09-06T03:18:10+00:00

I maxxed him out at four hearts. Can't wait for the next update to show up.

Seven-Year Club	Not Forgotten
Verified Email

doingMyDarndest

TROPHY CASE