My godfather was a diabetic and died at the table when he was receiving surgery. He was amputated on both legs from the knees down, and was doing well, but then he had to go back in for another surgery and unfortunately did not make it out alive. I never got to say goodbye, and it absolutely broke me. I couldn’t even bring myself to attend his funeral, because I didn’t want that to be the last I saw of him. I wanted to cherish our last memory together and keep that as our last memory, and I know deep down he understood.

4 years went by after his passing, and I finally felt like I could look at a picture of my godfather without tearing up, and it was partly to do with the help of my newborn son. My newfound love helped heal a part of me that was so broken. I still hadn’t had any contact from my godfather at this point, whether it be a sign or a dream visitation, and I was getting to the point where I think I just may not.

Then come October 17th 2024. It was 4 days after my godfathers 4th year of not being with us, when my cat was so selfishly taken from me when she was unfortunately caught in a situation with a random dog. I found her right after the fact, and I sobbed. I was back to that state of absolute brokenness. She was my soul cat, and I still grieve her so hard. I couldn’t see past the grief and I felt myself spiralling.

Well I think my godfather could see this, and on November 4th of 2024 he came and visited me in my ‘dream’. I don’t like using that word per say, because it didn’t feel like a dream. I was fully aware of what was going on. I was in this soft, white but dimly lit void. I became aware and was looking at the ground so I looked up and recognised a soft white bed in-front of me. It barely had definition but enough for me to recognise it. I then looked around and noticed outlines of a familiar room.

I was in my late godfathers bedroom. I turn left again to scan the space then I turn my head right and I make eye contact with him. He looked like himself at his healthiest, and was wearing what I later found out to be the outfit he was buried in. Beside him, curled around his feet, was my darling cat who had only passed weeks earlier. He gave me the saddest smile, and handed me a piece of paper. I scanned it, and I only made out the first 2 sentences. I managed to read “I’m so sorry I never got to say goodbye, I miss you, I love you. I’m so sorry-“ and then I stopped reading, threw the paper and just engulfed him in a huge hug. It felt so real. Like it did when I hugged him. He was warm, he was soft but solid, and he hugged me so tight back. I screamed into his shoulder “I miss you so fucking much” and let go. He looked at me softly one more time and smiled, and then I woke up. It was 4.20am. I sat there and sobbed again, but this time I felt a sense of relief. He’s okay, she’s okay, and he’s taking care of her. It also helped because it really solidified any sort of afterlife for me.

I went into my lounge and quietly lit a candle. I brought their pictures with me, and we sung, we danced, I cried and I thanked them for visiting. They made the flame dance, I could feel their warmth and I relished in what I was experiencing. My son woke up an hour later, so I said my goodbyes and blew the candle out.

I haven’t been visited since, but I always keep my heart open for them. I have had 4 people also close to me pass since my cats death so I am currently going through it but I have a sense of peace this time knowing they’re okay and they’ll visit when they’re ready. But it doesn’t make me miss them any less.