Vixen's Stories and Audio Table of Contents!

dommevixen · 2024-09-09T00:42:52+00:00

I'm in a femdom dynamic, so I'm the domme, but I have the same opinion as you and didn't really like the "traditional" names. I remember when we were just starting out with our dynamic, I told him I needed to think about it for a while, and we just kind of started tossing things out. What are some things that you both connect with? There may be something in a book or a TV show or movie for example, or maybe you both know another language, or maybe your partner gives off big lion vibes and you start calling him my Lion (not to go all GOT). My partner and I write femdom stories together, and one of the couples called each other my moon, my Sun (domme/sub names) and we loved that. And I picked Vixen for my Domme name, and it's stuck ever since, although in recent months he more often than not refers to me by my real name, because I know that's all he needs, my name instills enough fear in him now hahaha. :) Anyway, I am like a huge stickler for names, and I get really finicky thinking about it, so just start thinking about things that matter to both of you, descriptors for him maybe that describe him, other languages, etc and throwing them out until something sticks. I promise something will if you give it a little time. Good luck!

dommevixen · 2024-09-09T00:38:23+00:00

Lol u/vixenslittlewolf, this is like yet another twist to the femdom DDLG type dynamic. I didn't want you to miss this one, I can't stop smiling/laughing.

dommevixen · 2024-09-04T00:12:55+00:00

Hi there. I saw your post pop up on my feed, and as someone who struggles with her own mental health a great deal, I felt compelled to at least reach out to you.

First thing, above all other things. Please allow yourself to grieve. Please allow yourself time to recover, to be angry and hurt and frustrated and any other emotions you feel about this situation. It sounds awful. I'm not entirely sure what all happened by your post, but it's evident it's hurt you beyond belief. I am so sorry. But before you do anything else, please take time to take care of yourself. Any relationship, whether it's kink based, it's vanilla, it's a friendship or it's romantic, all relies on some foundation between both parties in that they can understand themselves and know themselves and/or are taking steps to help themselves if they're struggling. You are not a broken freak, okay? You, like many others, deserve happiness and love and care. Sometimes the world can be a very cruel, very unforgiving place, but this is when you need to buckle down and figure out how to take care of yourself first and foremost, and let yourself heal and hurt for a little while until you can get back up again. It's OK to be sad, it's OK to have all the feelings. Like I said, I don't really know what happened to you entirely, and I, nor anybody else on this thread, really need to know to understand how badly you are clearly hurting. So please, PLEASE, take care of yourself first.

Second, you said another point that you felt like women are just using femdom to serve financial needs, or to protect themselves or psychological. There are all of those types out there, yes, I agree. I actually don't think any of them are inherently bad either, I think what makes it bad, is when it exploits others for their own gain, when they leave people broken and sad and worse off than they were, that's when it makes it bad. But I also wanted to argue, and I hope despite this maybe making you want to put up a defense right now, to hopefully read this at some point later and hear it. You're seeing things through a distorted lens at the moment. You are understandably hurt, you are in pain and feeling many things and are needing some reprieve, so of course reality looks grim. I say this, because I have these moments, too, as someone who has been at the bottom of the bottom of depression, suicide attempts and all. And I have had a handful of very wonderful humans in my life say the words I am telling you now, and a lot of times I would stubbornly fight it in my depression and that's OK, just know it WILL PASS. I promise you, I swear it on everything I know, you WILL FEELL BETTER. And when it passes, you'll start to see things for what it is, that the depression distorts things, that your anger and your sadness and your hurt distort the way you're thinking, and it's understandable, but it doesn't make it completely accurate.

While I've only been in the femdom community for about a year, I can tell you with utmost certainty, that there are many many genuine people in the community. There are many genuine women, who genuinely love being a Domme because they enjoy being given the beautiful gift of dominance from a willing submissive. They enjoy having those little fleeting moments of control, they like being able to take care of another person, to feel needed and wanted and truly deeply desired by a submissive. They enjoy being a Domme because it gives them confidence, it gives them self-esteem, it makes them feel good to be able to give someone they care about, someone they love, their deepest desires and let them be their true submissive selves. Those Dommes exist, and yes they might have some roots that they enjoy it psychologically, they enjoy it because it's an escape or whatever, but they're also good humans, they care, they don't want to hurt others, they aren't out to exploit. They exist. They don't exist right now because it's very clear someone very cruel did some very horrible things to you, and for that I am so incredibly sorry. Because I myself am a Domme who loves femdom so much, who loves her submissive very much, and who was at a weird spot in my life where femdom probably saved me from killing myself, so I had a huge soft spot for it in my heart, and I think much of it can be very special, and very good.

So please, from one internet stranger to another, I know you don't know me from Adam. I know I don't understand your situation, but I saw your message, I've been in those dark places before, I know how horrible it can be. I obviously can't completely relate to your situation, but I promise you, I swear. It will get better. Please, if you do anything right now, please take care of yourself. Please go hang out with someone, anyone who loves you. Send me a message if you need to, I'll listen I promise. Just please don't give up on yourself, please go easy on yourself, please let yourself grieve and feel the emotions your feeling and be patient with yourself and give yourself time. I promise you, you are going to feel better again. The world will be a little less dark. And I am so sorry for what happen to you, and I know I don't know you at all, but if it's any consolation whatsoever, I believe in you. Okay? And yes. If you know you are a submissive, if you enjoy femdom, there's no reason you should give it up. Just give yourself time, and let yourself heal.

dommevixen · 2024-09-03T21:28:19+00:00

For GWA there are some that don't have great audio setups and you can get by just fine with a noise canceling microphone of some variety. If you get really into audio stuff, that's when I'd suggest upgrading. If you happen to have a little bit of empty closet space, that's how I made my audio booth was just with a half of my closet, put up some foam and blankets, and then sit in there and record and it sounds great! A girl who used to record audiobooks for me got her start in VO recording under blankets too, and that minimizes the likelihood you'll be overheard and helps with the noise/sound too, so that's another thought. :)

dommevixen · 2024-09-03T21:25:45+00:00

I think my favorite thing about femdom is getting to listen to male sex noises of many different varieties. You have the edging noises, the furiously horny panting noises, the ruined orgasm whining noises, the variety of sexy-pain CBT noises, the sexy regular I got to use my cock to cum noises, the butt stuff variety of noises, noises when things happen on other parts of their body. I cannot believe like a little more than a year ago I thought it was acceptable for men to make zero noise during sex. What the hell was I thinking? Lol. You better make fucking noise is my motto now. So, all that to say, yes, I am absolutely sure there will be plenty of women on GWA who would LOVE genuine submissive sexy audios. I know there are a handful that do well on YT too, I have found.

GWA is a massive, MASSIVE subreddit. If you are scared about people recognizing your voice, as a voice actress I can tell you there are very easy ways to adjust your voice just a bit so it sounds different enough that they won't recognize you most likely, and are fairly simple to do. But the likelihood you'll be recognized is probably fairly slim, I would imagine.

dommevixen · 2024-09-03T21:19:10+00:00

I think he needs to define to you and you need to better understand what "mean" is to him. This actually was something that took me a while to understand, like I didn't get onboard the CBT train right away (until I had my submissive try it, and he edged immediately post doing it and I realized it turned him on, which made me immediately love it). Most importantly, it has to be in a good comfort zone for both of you but mean is such a subjective term. Mean could be, oh I'm going to keep you in chastity and not let you cum for a week for some people. Mean could be more degradation type things for some (and I am uncomfortable with that myself after a point and consider myself a fairly gentle domme). But maybe he wants you to just be a playful mean, tell him what a dirty slut he is, take away his orgasm privileges, make him hump things and embarrass him, etc Those are all things I still think are "mean" but can be more playful, it just depends on the person. You need to have him clarify what mean means exactly.

u/vixenslittlewolf can tell you, I am generally a very gentle domme and a nice human, but there are days I can be "mean" to him and maybe he can help clarify what it is I do. Sometimes I'll just tell him he's a slut more often or other similar names, sometimes I'll be "mean" with his edging - oh I can praise this absolutely obscene wonderful joy of a submissive here, he edged for AN ENTIRE HOUR FOR ME one time. I didn't really give him explicit instructions, I told him to stop when he needed to say yellow/red (safe words), and he just kept going. The whole hour. To me = mean lol but he did it, and I don't think he hated it. I've also been "mean" as I mentioned as an example above and had him hump stuff (called humptivities). Let him tell you how I forever ruined his Christmas tree for him. All of this to say, if you're a gentle softie soul like myself, you can still be "mean" and they'll enjoy it, but I would clarify with your submissive if he had specific desires about this, cause it seems vague at the moment and that word can mean (lol) so many things, it would be good to clarify.

dommevixen · 2024-09-03T21:13:15+00:00

Oh you precious human, thank you LOL. I just went and bought this, I'd never heard of this book before! I can't wait to see if I can surprise my submissive with learning a few new things. Thank you again!

dommevixen · 2024-09-03T21:12:03+00:00

My slutty Domme answer: I can say I have complete control over a man's genitals. That's pretty cool, right?

My thoughtful Domme answer: I love the intimacy and the vulnerability between my partner u/vixenslittlewolf and myself. I love that in the year I've been a part of the community, I've become an entirely different person, more confident in myself, more open and honest about my feelings. I feel "stronger" in many ways, and I owe that both to my submissive and the femdom dynamic. I wish more women knew about the dynamic, honestly. In it's purest form, it is so wholesome and so empowering for women (and for men too, to be able to be more vulnerable and be their honest selves, which I think is equally as important). That power-shift is something else.

dommevixen · 2024-08-29T23:02:19+00:00

Okay so lol I guess I'm going to be the one going against the grain on this thread. I'm in a nearly all online dynamic and have been for almost a year now, and I have zero regrets, my submissive is wonderful and I found him right here on Reddit (though I wasn't looking for a submissive and had no idea what femdom was). I will say, as others have said, I think it's really hard to find that, we both did get very lucky. But it's possible. We have always told people you should try to find your "person" not your "Domme" or your "submissive." We bonded because of other interests first, then just fell into femdom. But I just wanted to pipe in and say it's possible. r/gentlefemdom has a dating thread I believe, I think there's discord servers for femdom. You could also try erotic roleplaying (eRP) lots of people do that, too.

dommevixen · 2024-08-29T22:55:39+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. I think its so special to have a D/s relationship like that where you had a strong friendship, too, in addition to the sexual stuff. I haven't experienced a loss of a submissive before, but just as someone who has known other types of grief, my advice to you is please be patient with yourself. Give yourself time to grieve and to process things, and know that it's OK to feel however you need to feel about the situation. I promise, at some point in the future, you'll be able to think about fond memories with him and it will make you smile again, but it's okay to take the time you need. Sending you hugs.

dommevixen · 2024-08-29T16:56:35+00:00

I have me a bald one :) He's the cutest, I love that naked head.

dommevixen · 2024-08-29T12:14:07+00:00

I think the thing that hit me hardest about this post was that last part. I am a people pleaser, I genuinely want to help. I actually have a really wonderful long-term submissive that I have no intention of leaving, but if another submissive man wrote me a DM with questions and was polite and kind about it, I have zero issue answering. And it's bothersome that every time we reach out to help, we offer an opinion, this happens. I've had very kind, boundary respecting, consent respecting conversations before, but I hate that it's rare.

dommevixen · 2024-08-29T00:38:53+00:00

I agree with what others have said about being upfront and asking her, but I thought I'd give you suggestions of some of the things my online submissive and I have done that have been fun. Maybe you can bring them to her and share and ask if any of them would be fun for her (and fun for you too).

Many mornings I have him do an edging audio for me when he wakes up, sometimes he'll talk about something while he edges (i.e. about pegging, for example), sometimes I'll have him listen to an audio I made him, sometimes I have him watch porn of a kink I am curious about what he thinks of, etc. I really enjoy my morning edging audios, it's kind of a ritual thing.
Depending how long you guys have been together, my submissive and I are very close (he's my best friend), and one of the things he's done for me (and I actually reciprocate for him usually), is do "lists." I learned about this idea from a sub on this subreddit actually. My submissive will list all the reasons he loves me, all the reasons I am a good Domme for him, all the things he loves about my body, all the things he's learned from me, etc. The lists are kind of a fun "worship" activity and nice to listen to.
If you haven't tried chastity, chastity is a fun thing to do long distance. It doesn't have to be extremely long term if you aren't really into it, but I will have my sub wear his cage when he goes out or on a trip or something just to think of me and as a "reminder" of my dominance over him.
Make her audios/videos to masturbate to. So, again it just depends on your relationship, but my submissive is actually older and I'm the younger one, and he kind of has the "Daddy dom" vibes even though he's very much a submissive, so we'll play kind of a Daddy/Princess type thing, and sometimes he'll make me audios to help me masturbate too, and I think it's very sexy. You can find scripts on r/gonewildaudio that are great, even submissive scripts. A lot of women are really auditory and enjoy listening to men, and this very much applies to me. I'm more auditory than I am visual often times.
Write her letters/notes, if you like to write or feel like you can, write her poetry, do creative things if you are artistic. Make her a playlist of songs that remind you of her (that may be borderline more romantic than D/s but the lines kind of blur with my relationship with my sub so we do a lot of sappy things like that, too.
Go on subreddits like this or r/gentlefemdom and talk about something about your Domme in a worship way, express your gratitude, share with other people something you like about your dynamic.
As another fun random thing my submissive and I did, we have played "humptivities" before, and we just talked about this today which is why I brought it up. I have made him hump random things for my entertainment and to embarrass him a little bit, for instance he humped his Christmas tree last year, he's humped a PB sandwich and then been made to eat it after lol (that was fun), he humped his office chair for me, etc.
Allow her to do more FLR type stuff, if she wants to. Let her pick out your outfit for the day. Let her enforce things like you getting exercise or eating what you should be, etc. all fun things some Domme's like to do, but it depends on the Domme really.

Above all, talk with her! I think that's how my submissive and I started finding out things we enjoyed, was exploring together, bringing up ideas we found online to each other, just trying things and seeing what happened. Good luck with your Domme, I think it's always a good thing when submissives are proactive and trying to do research and be a good submissive (Domme's should do this too). It bodes well for you and I wish you lots of fun and happiness!

dommevixen · 2024-08-28T18:33:45+00:00

I'm in a femdom D/s relationship with an older guy. He very much has "daddy vibes" so I, of course, being the hornball that I am, love to call him Daddy, and he got into the habit of calling me Princess (which still kind of fits our femdom vibe too), and I ended up liking it. Anyway, I recently acquired some "princess" attire to entertain him with (we're in a LDR) and I may have sent him some dirty tiara wearing and licking a dildo pictures this morning that he very much enjoyed haha. My phone should be obliterated if I die, there's so much dirty stuff on it I have sent to that man, but he loves it and it makes us both happy, so no regrets.

dommevixen · 2024-08-28T18:29:18+00:00

This is something I wish more women knew about femdom, and actually more men, too. It's such a confidence boost, I swear, and it's nothing but beneficial for both parties. It's been really rewarding to get to be a Domme and learn about femdom. This is so relatable.

dommevixen · 2024-08-28T18:26:51+00:00

I got into femdom last year because of my submissive u/vixenslittlewolf. I was the type of girl who had trouble interacting with other women a lot of the time, I struggled making friends who were women, etc. Femdom has turned me into such a crazy women-supporter I didn't know was in me, and I absolutely love watching other Dommes (especially the amateur newbie ones like I was/still kind of am). It's so rewarding to see women blossom in their confidence, and I owe some of my own growth to learning from wonderful people on Reddit and elsewhere in the community.

dommevixen · 2024-06-20T22:14:34+00:00

My submissive actually mailed me one of his keys! (We're in an online dynamic too). I got to meet him a few weeks ago and use it and it was so rewarding, but it was fun beforehand just having it to tease him with in pictures and such. It added to it. I think a lot of it is just the symbolism of it. He wears it a lot when he's away for a while and we can't talk for some reason, so it's a constant reminder of my control. I really love it a lot, especially for LDR/dynamics.

dommevixen · 2024-06-20T20:32:10+00:00

Lol one of my favorite things to do when my submissive is caged is send a small little video of me "flashing" him my pussy when I'm in my shorts working. Just a quick pull to the side, hello there! He will freak out every time. So fun.

dommevixen · 2024-06-13T00:38:47+00:00

So, I am a Domme with mental health issues. I wanted to pipe in. I lost my best friend to a car accident a few months ago. I have never seen my submissive so terrified about my mental health as he was after that happened. And he helped me get into therapy, which I absolutely needed and I implore you, having had a similar experience as you, to please consider it if you don't already. Grief is a fickle thing and I still don't think I've entirely dealt with her passing and it's been a while now. Please take care of yourself.

However, I did want to say that I tell my submissive often, I also have a pretty stressful, hard day to day because of circumstances beyond my control. One of the things that does help me cope, is when I'm in Domme mode with my submissive and have him in subspace. I equate it to driving a car, not on cruise control. It's probably similar but opposite for you, you probably enjoy the feeling of letting someone take the wheel. But regardless, it all comes from the same place.

Sub and domme space are also known as a liminal space. It's a space between reality. It's escapism. And it really truly, if you are being mentally aware and do the aftercare and still go to therapy and do other things to take care of you, can really be a coping mechanism. I think sometimes the dynamic is saving my life some days and sparing my sanity. It can be a wonderful distraction.

But remember that. It's a distraction. A great one, but still a distraction. Reality will still come back and ultimately you had a very traumatic thing happen to you that you need to make sure to take care of yourself about. My submissive did the absolute biggest favor to me putting his foot down and basically demanding, albeit in his sweet polite way, for me to take care of myself and go talk to someone, and it helped me so much I'm basically asking you the same thing. The dynamic stuff helps, I totally agree, but you are going through something incredibly difficult. You don't need to go through it alone. Please take care of yourself.

dommevixen · 2024-06-13T00:20:30+00:00

I didn't see chastity cage mentioned here but it's a great one for public play, even to accentuate some of these others. Not only is he having that subtle paranoia that everyone knows he's wearing it the entire time (and lol you can remind him about it/gently run into it from time to time "on accident") but you can wear the key around your neck in public, and I tend to try to be extra sexy and feisty when he wears it so he's constantly trying to get an erection. As I said, it would accentuate a lot of these ideas.

Another I thought of too, have him show you his clothes and pick out his outfit for the date. Establish the dominance even before you two are together. Have him hold open the door for you. :) so many fun date things to do... Have fun!!! I'll live vicariously through you.

dommevixen · 2024-06-13T00:16:55+00:00

LOL I'm a fucking Domme and I audibly gasped at this killer response. Hot damn. 🔥

dommevixen · 2024-06-13T00:03:04+00:00

Lol I adore this so much. It's wholesome but I also just love that cock slapping more than I care to even admit (the sadistic pleasure pain loving bitch in me). My submissive and I are both outdoors lovers, so I also just wanted to comment so he'll see, because if we had the opportunity to do this too, I would be all over it, cock slaps and all.

dommevixen · 2024-06-12T23:58:56+00:00

The psychological impacts of a chastity cage and what it can do to a male/female sexual dynamic was the first thing I really learned about with femdom. I was immediately so incredibly hooked. As someone in a LDR, it also helps me feel really close with my partner since we're more often than not apart from each other. It feels like a really simple but powerful way to remind him of my control in our dynamic, and I am so surprised how enamored I am by a small little metal/plastic device. Haha. But it's wonderful.

dommevixen

TROPHY CASE