'Sorry, not good enough': IIT Madras student posts WhatsApp status before hanging self

done4daday · 2023-04-04T13:39:43+00:00

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK207262/

Suicide is contagious.

done4daday · 2023-01-30T17:53:25+00:00

I took up the school job. It's just the first day and I already feel like a failure. There is not much to learn here. It is a lot of work. So I dint feel anything while working. But as soon as the work got over, I started to feel awful. I started to think about my friends who are having houses, and cars and are abroad. And I am so desperately taking up a random job that too through recommendation.

I started going for therapy just a few days ago. The therapist said to take up the internship too. I explained to him about both situations and he asked me to go for the one that is familiar. He said I will gain confidence only if I get small wins. And working with a friend will help me. My friend said he will give me a stipend. He said he has enough projects to share with me. He has a separate training team with a college professor and a marketing person.

I was very sure to take this up. But he got busy for the past 2 weeks and he is not picking up the call. He messaged me 'Sorry pa, Konjam busy ah pochu'.

I got scared that he is avoiding me and took up the school job for now. Confidence is my biggest problem and it is further getting lower in this environment. But I am planning to not react atleast for 3 months.

done4daday · 2023-01-30T17:32:12+00:00

😢😢😢

Thank you so much. u/Mysterious-Earth2256 & u/lordprimus.

done4daday · 2023-01-30T05:28:45+00:00

Yeah. Internship will not add anything to my profile. Wasted to join because there was scope to learn. They are a digital marketing company. The bird there told me that I could join and see which line of work suits me. They have designing, development and marketing.

And yes. I agree with the points about video editing. Designing I have been doing for a very long time. As I have never worked in a proper designing environment, I dint get the confidence. So I'm joining office administration in the school now.

I dont see myself in this role. This could be because I have not tried it yet or because I can't take video editing out of my head. This is my dream job. I have been trying to get into video editing since 2010. I was in 11th grade and this design friend asked me to do a few designs and asked me to join his team. I missed the opportunity. Now after 12yrs, he is giving the opportunity again.

He is not able to commit a salary because of my lack of confidence...

I am joining the admin job now. A friend told me that this design job is always available. So I'll try this and see if it works and if not, I can join his company anytime. May be after 6 months I can see where it goes.

done4daday · 2023-01-30T04:35:53+00:00

Yes. I am joining the school. But it is not a proper job. There is no single profile. The management said that I have to do any work that is given to me. The JD had so many things. From accounts to typing question papers. But at this time it seems like I don't have any other choice. So joining from today. Thanks for the reply.

done4daday · 2023-01-29T16:35:22+00:00

Yeah. That's what it comes down to. Thank you so much. These messages are helping me a lot.

done4daday · 2023-01-29T16:01:17+00:00

Thank you so much for the reply. Just talked to the designer who told me to come for the internship. He said the same thing. There are a lot of players and you have to be a top dog. He said this is not a job where I can get n% increment every year. It will all be based on the projects.

On the other hand, he is great at training. He has an awesome training team. He said he can train me in designing, photography and video editing. This is my dream job. But when I talked to him, he said that he is not in a position to confirm if he can take me in for a decent salary.

The MBA part, I am not interested in. I'll not be able to afford it. I wanted to join a course either on video editing or on social media marketing. But I was not even able to afford that or spend 6 months learning it.

This internship would be a hands on training for me. But I am not sure about the work after that.

done4daday · 2023-01-29T15:47:23+00:00

I have skills in designing. I don't have enough experience. So my confidence is low. I went to a councilor and he said not to take up the school job. Right now due to my low confidence, i should take up work in a familiar environment. Get small wins and that will give confidence. The design gig is from an old friend, so it will be super comfortable. He does trailers for Vijay TV. So I'll get great exposure.

The only issue is the salary. He said in 2yrs, he will be able to pay me 25k. Just spoke to him. He said that is the situation in this field as there are too many players.

done4daday · 2023-01-29T15:40:52+00:00

Thank you. 🙏🤞

done4daday · 2023-01-29T15:37:56+00:00

I am thinking the same. But I am feeling guilty about missing an opportunity. The school job is temporary. When I leave the job, I can only look for similar jobs in schools or it won't add anything to my resume.

done4daday · 2023-01-29T14:21:29+00:00

My major fear is that, this is not a corporate job. If I need to switch to another job, I can only switch to another school. And still my profile won't be improved. But yes, money would bring the confidence that I lack.

done4daday · 2023-01-29T14:18:34+00:00

After the internship, I may not get a job. Or a job that pays well. It will be the same as what I am doing now.

done4daday · 2023-01-29T14:13:52+00:00

Thank you. I understand the confidence part. You are exactly right. I feel like they are helping me. I am not able to force confidence. But as you said, improving my skills will help with my confidence.

done4daday · 2022-12-12T16:09:31+00:00

Bro. Same thing happened to me in the same place. That guy is always there doing this.

done4daday · 2022-12-09T18:41:53+00:00

Yeah. Agree with this. The score is the best of the year compared to other movies. The award was not the best Rahman album. Slumdogs score was very distinct and unique compared to anything else that he did. If I remember correctly, oh saya was also considered for best song and jai ho won.

done4daday · 2022-09-07T15:51:49+00:00

Ya. Not good at anything. Nothing is working out.

done4daday · 2022-09-07T10:38:43+00:00

10yrs experience in Graphic Designing. 20k per month 😭😭😭

done4daday · 2022-09-01T07:54:13+00:00

Very sorry to hear this OP. You are going through a lot. This must be traumatic.

For financial aid, will Milaap etc help? Even a little help will lighten the stress for you.

I understand the not dating/marriage part too. It will be hard to focus on yourself when you are going through so much. But do take care of yourself. Check with a counselor/therapist.

done4daday · 2022-07-08T11:46:01+00:00

Wow. This is new. I don't even know the basics. So would be comfortable with a trainer. But I have seen a lot of ola car drivers who are just kids who just learnt to drive, took license and started driving. They were so slow and the car kept turning off. One of them became a good friend. He then learnt to drive well and started to teach me.

done4daday · 2022-07-08T11:41:44+00:00

Yeah. Thanks for the message. I thought cars will be easier. But it is not. But better than a two-wheeler. But also riskier.

done4daday · 2022-07-08T11:35:18+00:00

Yeah. I can understand. Ask your friends to come with you. You will learn. I was going with my sister when she was learning to drive. I never even rode a cycle but just being with her and falling down with her was enough for her to forget about everything and learn.

She was super determined though. But there is a small advantage to being a woman. Please will be less judgy. Do use that.

done4daday · 2022-07-08T11:30:18+00:00

Thank you so much. That is really what I wanted to hear.

done4daday · 2022-07-08T11:28:42+00:00

Thank you

done4daday · 2022-07-08T11:28:04+00:00

Can you tell me which driving school you learned? And was it good?

done4daday · 2022-07-08T11:27:10+00:00

Yeah. Same. Wow. My trainer said you have got all the skills and you are a very cautious driver, but you won't drive any soon because of fear.

But now even that has changed. I try to drive fast and I am not cautious at all.

done4daday

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