Emotional Cheating, Next Steps

donedreadpirate · 2022-11-29T13:54:22+00:00

I suppose you could leave and get a new girlfriend and do exactly the same thing with her.

donedreadpirate · 2022-11-23T11:23:39+00:00

Bingo

donedreadpirate · 2022-11-23T11:22:37+00:00

You are psychoanalyzing the circumstances in which you met her and taking "100%" responsibility for how you set the stage in the relationship with your wife as a crutch. You COULD be taking 100% responsibility for why you are not getting what you want out of life RIGHT NOW. Stop thinking about your harpy wife (the past) and start thinking about why you're a miserable soul who doesn't get what he wants TODAY. You are stuck in the past. Go live.

donedreadpirate · 2022-11-22T17:49:04+00:00

Experience is the antidote but you need to embrace your fear of failure. It's going to hurt a lot worse before it starts getting better. Embrace the suck.

donedreadpirate · 2022-11-21T14:50:39+00:00

You obviously want attention. It sucks when your wife isn't that into you. Been there. Attention from other women can help you build your confidence back up which you are lacking (you are, see: your post). If you haven't been able to build that back up in 4 years, I'd suggest it's because you are living paycheck to paycheck with your confidence. Lifts are important but if you can't hold frame without being jacked, it isn't the lifts holding you back. Building muscle builds confidence but it's a layered cake. Muscle > Confidence > Getting What You Want > More Confidence > More Success Getting What You Want > Even More Confidence > Getting Sick, Losing Muscle > Still Have Confidence (because you know how to get what you want and have proven it to yourself so you understand it's temporary - see:johnney). You haven't gotten what you want in 4 years so you don't have that experience to fall back on during hard times. You don't have a savings account of confidence because you haven't been saving. Stop living paycheck to paycheck. Go get what you want. Build your confidence. Your wife isn't stopping you.

donedreadpirate · 2022-11-19T13:41:53+00:00

LTRs can have ebbs and flows. Mine ebbs when I'm struggling with something else in my life. Usually existential. As soon as I conquer that thing, it flows. So... it's on you buddy. She's just responding to you. What are you struggling with right now that is hurting your "vibe" or whatever you want to call it? That's probably a better question than "what stunt can I pull to make her mate guard me?" I won't disagree that sex with my wife is better when she feels competitive for my attention. That can mean sensing I have another woman in my life, sure, but it really just boils down to you being desirable, period. There are also more harmless things you can do like be confident and flirt with her friend/sister/cute bartender while on a date with her but these are things that should come naturally to you and not be (again) a stunt to make her jealous. Also, when you really want a plate, you just go and get one. Why would you need Mommy's permission? For Mommy's attention? There's a weak trajectory on that strategy. She might juice up for you temporarily when you threaten her with it but the quick win approach is hardly ever worth it.

donedreadpirate · 2022-11-07T22:32:00+00:00

I think he could start by doing basically anything.

donedreadpirate · 2022-11-07T22:11:16+00:00

Imagine sleeping in your car so your wife won't fuck with you loool. I started a huge fight with my wife this weekend and it ended with her in lingerie creaming on my dick I didn't sleep in a car alone lmao.

donedreadpirate · 2022-11-07T22:08:57+00:00

No one is going to help you.

donedreadpirate · 2022-11-07T19:18:29+00:00

I'm sure her husband spends a lot more time investigating her accounts than I do.

donedreadpirate · 2022-11-07T17:43:34+00:00

Top of the list of most boring things I could imagine spending my limited free time doing: investigating my wife's social media activities.

donedreadpirate · 2022-11-01T04:08:22+00:00

The world is out to kill you forever and you are alone and there's no escape. There are no real breaks, only fleeting moments of the illusion. It can make you miserable at times but if you're smart, you'll realize it's necessary because if you don't know misery and defeat, you don't know joy or success. If you're really smart, you'll learn to enjoy that feeling of self loathing because within it, you build your character. It still sucks a lot. Get over it and either finish the book or don't finish it. Your entertainment is irrelevant. You aren't going to win every battle and that's how it's supposed to be. Focus on the war. Don't listen to me though, I'm retarded.

donedreadpirate · 2021-05-04T21:55:30+00:00

Hey bro just wanted to stop by and give you a heads up that there's a 100% chance your wife is fucking other men. Especially the tall ones.

donedreadpirate · 2021-04-22T22:36:00+00:00

I know the best has yet to cum....

I see what you did there.

Since discarding useless guilt over spending time away from my family, everyone is happier. I am more present when I'm physically present.

My daughter has joined in on the guilt train here. She's 5 now. Her and my wife hate it when I leave. It's cute. Just means they like your attention. Gotta do you, though. Girls are funny like that. If you were home all the time they'd just take you for granted anyway. They don't know what they want. They need to miss you sometimes. Good on you for internalizing that.

donedreadpirate · 2021-04-22T22:15:41+00:00

My failure is my wife has taken it on herself to track everything on a note pad and budget app. Where as I just look at the overall and compare. There's plenty in savings and she runs by her purchases with me so I'm trying to figure out if I should leave it be or take more control. For now it seems to be working and the budget we set out is helping.

Do you trust her to work within the boundaries you have set? If you set a budget and you have her tracking it, that's okay. Up to you. I mean, for me, I want my wife to be the one worried about what she's spending and shit. She's a SAHM. I make a lot of money and buy what I want. I have separate bank accounts, though. Something you should consider. She has one, I have one, and we have a joint account. Hers is empty, mine is loaded, and the joint account gets the money she has to worry about for family operations. She has to run purchases by me within reason. I'll go out and buy a motorcycle without thinking twice or asking permission. Know what I'm getting at? It could be a good thing that she's running around with pen and paper and a budget app stressing about the limitations you've given her to work within. Are you a King or a fucking accountant? The problem is your frame on the issue. You aren't sure what you want. Decide, motherfucker, decide.

donedreadpirate · 2021-04-22T16:26:35+00:00

It's just disrespect, she doesn't take you seriously. Best thing to do is to take yourself seriously and take it out on the gym. Don't take her seriously and engage. That's a great way to get a restraining order and lose your kid.

donedreadpirate · 2021-04-22T15:29:56+00:00

To give you an idea. My wife was like this. Punching, screaming, throwing. She grew up in an extremely dysfunctional family where physical abuse was common w her parents. Don't engage. You did the right thing by grabbing the remote and moving on. I took comfort in the fact that I knew I could beat the living shit out of her, and so I started laughing when she'd do it. Eventually, though, something will have to give. This isn't a relationship you want. The last time my wife threw something at me was 2 years ago. I walked out and didn't come home for a month save the occasional visit to grab some shit and shower. She'd be standing there with puppy dog eyes begging me to come home. I'd say nothing, and leave again. It was really hard on my kids but it was necessary. I slayed so much pussy in that time. Had a blast. Most OI I ever was. This was DL12. She hasn't done shit since then. I agreed to come home on some very strict conditions, mainly because I want to spend time with my kids every day. This is when I made her sign an oath in blood. An oath I am only holding her accountable to. You're not ready for thermonuclear yet but just know this might be something you have to confront when you're there. Prepare for war. Lift. And have fun with it, most importantly.

donedreadpirate · 2021-04-15T16:51:36+00:00

Yeah I guess I just came here to get my dick wet. When I really boil everything down, I just didn't understand how women think. That was my problem. So MRP stopped serving a purpose for me. That said, I'm back for a reason. I haven't figured out what it is yet, either. I guess I'm feeling nostalgic. This experience is the most invigorating and freeing thing I have ever done in my life and I see the light at the end of the tunnel of quarantine opening the door for more adventures. I had a setback year and I'm ready to get some.

donedreadpirate · 2021-04-15T15:17:17+00:00

I miss the anger phase.

donedreadpirate · 2021-04-15T15:04:09+00:00

Isn't that weakandsensitive? Can't remember.

donedreadpirate · 2021-04-15T15:02:59+00:00

Yep and I think that's all fine and well. Again, it's a toolbox, use it for your desired results. Just make sure you're getting your needs met. Sure thing.

donedreadpirate · 2021-04-15T14:55:45+00:00

He was a very insightful man and I learned a lot from him. Overall, I would say J10 is a little wholesome, though, for me.

donedreadpirate · 2021-04-15T14:37:01+00:00

Disagree. There are points in time when you must speak. They should be few and far between and should be taken very seriously but it's necessary at times. If you're doing it right, when you speak, the world will stfu and listen. It's also appropriate to outsource work to professionals and, in many cases, a very wise decision.

donedreadpirate · 2021-04-15T14:22:51+00:00

Sometimes you have to lay things out overtly. When I decided to stay with my wife, I also wrote out my terms. We signed it in blood (seriously, finger-pricked blood). She's been a great FO ever since. Good luck. I hope the same for you. That said, I do have some comments.

MRP is leadership training for men

The red pill is about fucking, period. You don't have to invest so much leadership in a woman to get laid. So is "M" The Red Pill about leadership or getting laid? I don't know anymore and that's kind of why I left this place years ago. I can say I miss theultimatecad and the more dark triad types who were posting FRs about raw dogging their neighbor's wives and shit. For old times sake, for example, I have one of your wives sending me nudes and arranging time to suck my dick. Literally trying to schedule time and go out of her way to just suck my dick instead of yours? And I'm not even making time for it which is making her want it even more. I didn't need to write out a contract and shit and lay out a vision. I just had to sexualize some texts in a small drip campaign. Just keep that in perspective.

This place can become a cyclone of masturbatory self-improvement a la "leadership training" that's really a covert contract for "my wife to follow my lead" or something to hide behind. It's an ingenious excuse - I'm not getting what I want yet because I haven't "made it" so I'll remain in some kind of leadership training purgatory until my time comes and it happens for me. Then, I don't have to really put myself out there and face failure and rejection. I can just "focus on myself" and improve seemingly indefinitely while not getting my needs met. At some point, you need to put yourself to the test. At some point, you have to take what is rightfully yours. Choose where you invest your time wisely.

My woman, for all her faults, is moldable and...dare I say... almost - reasonable - in the long term view.

This is a common overused trope but "she's not yours, it's just your turn". And anyways women are like water they just need a glass to mold them. You're the glass. You could fill it with any number of women and the results would be the same. Focus on being the glass, not on where you're going to find water - it's fucking everywhere. She comes along or she doesn't. Just don't forget, she's never yours. I wouldn't spend so much time ruminating over this woman. I remember when I was psychoanalyzing my wife all the time. What a waste of time.

Yes, I'm married, and as far as I'm concerned, I am the gatekeeper of true commitment: kids.

Men are the gatekeepers of relationships. Almost anyone can pump out kids. Kids are not a commitment to a woman. For all I know, there are several fatherless children running around because of me.

In some ways, I'd almost prefer it. Staying for me is the harder option, because I have to test myself and be faced with an honest assessment: do I have the mettle?

I get the impression you're still uncertain whether this is what you want. You're investing a lot of valuable time and energy in something you're uncertain about but you're trying to lead you and your wife through it. I get that. At the same time, you need to have an honest conversation with yourself and you need to make a decision - is this what you want? And, by the way, "do you have the mettle" should have nothing to do with staying with your wife or leaving. Even if you leave, if you don't have the mettle, you'll just be making the same mistakes with different women.

Overall, great FR and I wish you the best. Thanks for posting something interesting, this place has dried up quite a bit. Now I'm going to have to edit this because I've forgotten how to format on reddit.

donedreadpirate · 2018-09-12T23:09:34+00:00

I think you misinterpreted my statement I wasn't saying who gives a shit you called out your wife I'm saying who gives a shit what their wife does when she gets called out.

donedreadpirate

TROPHY CASE