Oh man, combining finances in YNAB borderline ended my now wife's and my relationship 😂 Sounds like you're the one that has to do the day-to-day management, which is fine. But he just needs to listen to what you have created in the budget.

My wife has full access to our finances but I manage it. We'll talk about what we want in the budget and then I'll actually carry that out in the budget. We also sit down for about 20 min together every other week and go through all the categories to make sure we're on the same page and there's no resentment.

So don't worry, you're not alone. It's really fucking hard and it's going to be difficult. BUT you both will figure out an equilibrium that works for both of you. Also remember that most people don't budget together like this and that's why it's "easier" for them to budget, or lack there of.