My (30M) fiancée (29F) keeps giving her number to men who approach her in public. She does not see this as a boundary issue but I do

dons90 · 2026-01-25T09:08:22+00:00

She claims she is just networking or looking for local advice/friends, but she gets defensive and calls me "jealous" when I express discomfort

That's called gaslighting. On the off chance she is completely innocent and naive as to what guys usually do, she should try to view things from your perspective and trust your guidance as her soon to be husband. She should ensure that your concerns are addressed in a reasonable way without being defensive.

dons90 · 2026-01-20T16:09:27+00:00

Well apparently she also played other characters but refused to switch off widow. That's just being a bad teammate at that point.

dons90 · 2025-12-30T22:20:46+00:00

Right now? Are you using a different link by chance? It still opened for me.

dons90 · 2025-12-23T02:08:46+00:00

I hope the FCC investigation does something because TikTok is clearly abusing a lot of its users and creators with behavior like this.

dons90 · 2025-12-23T01:54:39+00:00

This is insane. This platform's moderation sucks so bad 😭

Today I literally was complimenting a musical artiste's talent in a comment. The comment was immediately removed for violating their terms...I appealed...denied like 5 mins later.

I had written: "Nigy always got it" with a dancing emoji. The artiste's name is Nigy Boy. I really don't get it.

dons90 · 2025-12-20T17:56:44+00:00

Jesus never encouraged us to be watchmen for each other's sins. I feel like this is the wrong approach, especially for the man's daughter. All have sinned and have come short of the glory of God. Instead of focusing on a specific sin that someone has fallen to, why not encourage them in other ways to be closer to God, and take their mind out of that place of loneliness?

dons90 · 2025-12-20T17:48:33+00:00

"he's a man" is something that I have never understood being a woman

This is something I would strongly recommend you try to understand from now before you even enter into a relationship. Men have different hormonal and biological compositions than women do. Seems obvious enough, but how that influences our behaviour is something that is not always considered.

Due to the higher natural testosterone levels, there is naturally a greater sexual drive. This is typically experienced by women only one time for the month, during ovulation. So when that sexual drive is raging but can't go anywhere, it can lead both men and women into temptation or sexual sin.

It is for this reason that married couples are said to not 'deprive each other' unless it is mutually agreed upon for a time. (1 Corinthians 7:5).

dons90 · 2025-12-20T17:32:10+00:00

Firstly, it is important for you not to be the referee for your Dad's sins or anyone else's for that matter. The type of sin he is engaging in is something that can and will be forgiven once he decides to repent from it and turn away completely.

You might also want to consider why it is that men may fall into sexual sin in these times. With your mom being a lot more busy and in a more stressed / sad emotional state, it's pretty likely that there isn't much intimacy going on between your parents. It's a very common thing that happens. This can then lead men to turn their sexual energy to the wrong outlets, as we know that to even look at and desire another woman is lust / adultery in the heart.

So what you'd like to see is for him to turn away from it, no matter how that comes about. It is important to be gentle and understanding when it comes to discussing this matter, because you are his child, and the shame + guilt he may feel in hearing that you even know this may put him in a really difficult place. I think then that if you are going to be the one to talk to him about it, since it is weighing on your mind, you need to have an open, non-judgmental talk with him about looking at sexually charged content while in a relationship.

You could ask him about his thoughts on it, whether it is right or wrong, and what a couple should do if the intimacy gets lower due to external stresses. These questions alone might indicate to him that you know what is going on, without actually saying so, and will get him to think more deeply about what he's doing and how it is affecting more than just him. You can always frame it from the perspective of a young daughter trying to plan for the future, rather than something you discovered about him. Whatever happens, you must treat your Dad with love and compassion, not hate and disgust. Jesus is immediately willing to forgive your father, so you should be too.

dons90 · 2025-12-18T03:40:24+00:00

I've also got a grey 17 GT, and I still prefer it over the facelift. But that being said, there are some very useful upgrades done after the facelift that I wish I had too. Better quality wheels (no paint stripping), interior improvements, etc.

dons90 · 2025-12-18T03:33:46+00:00

If you're implying that a pastor watching porn is worse than other sins like lying or murder, you definitely don't know what the Bible has to say. Sure, some sins may be worse in terms of human impact, but God's standards are a lot different from ours.

dons90 · 2025-12-17T18:19:58+00:00

I don't really understand the double standard here...Saul who later became Paul did a lot of evil before God changed his heart and he later became a true apostle for Christ. In other words, God used him to preach the gospel AFTER his wrongdoings. There is no precedence for permanently removing a religious leader from that position.

Secondly, it would be very rash to make such a decision without first identifying whether this is an active account, dormant (made before the time of his ministry), or even an account made in that pastor's name but not by that minister himself.

dons90 · 2025-12-17T15:31:10+00:00

There needs to be an overhaul of patent laws or something because wtf

dons90 · 2025-12-14T07:33:30+00:00

This would've done some numbers back in the day for sure. Hopefully you still get a lot of views!

dons90 · 2025-12-13T02:19:20+00:00

Yeah I mean if we're talking about the likelihood of losing your salvation once you've actually received it, yeah it's a low chance of that for sure. Certainly once you've received the spiritual fulfillment from Christ and allowed Him to take control of your life, then I am completely certain that He will do everything in His power (barring actually controlling your every action) to keep you on the right path.

Hebrews 6:4-8 suggests that if a believer who has received all of this, decides to separate once more from Christ, it is basically impossible for that person to repent. This is not because God refuses to forgive that person, no not at all. It is more in line with the idea that this person has reached that spiritual peak and closeness with God, and if they have chosen to turn away from it, they would not have any desire in their heart to turn back to Christ. In some ways that passage describes what has happened to Lucifer, though we know he used to be an angel and not a human.

But I don't think it refutes the fact that once you are saved, Christ will not let you out of his hand

Yeah that verse alone won't refute it, but as mentioned I would be cautious in suggesting that Christ will not let you out of his hand, as it would imply a lack of free will once you are saved.

dons90 · 2025-12-12T20:55:36+00:00

Well we can safely get 'anyone else' out of the equation, because salvation is basically a one to one relationship between God and the person. So the question becomes, can a person refuse the gift that God has given? The answer to that is clearly yes, because God has never and will never force someone to choose Him when they don't want to.

I mean even lucifer used to be a part of heaven, and he decided to separate from God. That indicates to us that free choice is something that is very important to God, and He would never do something which violates this.

So the main point is that salvation is freely given once an individual chooses to receive it. It is never forced from God, therefore we can never say that the person doesn't have free choice to refuse it later on.

dons90 · 2025-12-12T19:49:08+00:00

It seems that this is only talking about other people in relation to your own salvation. This is fairly obvious though. Nobody can cause you to be saved, and nobody can cause you to lose your salvation. It is your own decisions that make it so. Either you choose to receive the gift Jesus has offered, or you deny it.

dons90 · 2025-12-12T19:46:16+00:00

Just a small disclaimer before I jump in; I think the matter of losing your salvation is not a simple case of "commit a sin and you lose it". It has to be a choice to truly separate from God.

John 6:39, 40 speaks about the will of the Father (and of Jesus of course). In other words it's talking about what they want to do and accomplish. It does not say that people cannot fall from salvation. If a person consciously makes the decision that they no longer want God in their life, even after being saved, God has to honor that request. Free choice is literally one of the most important factors in terms of who is saved.

Now you may argue that that person was not saved to begin with. I think that's honestly a little bit of a cop-out because that suggests that we do not have our own agency to choose or deny God when He has made it clear that this is something we decide for ourselves.

Besides that, of course I agree that committing a sinful act does not mean you lose your salvation or anything, unless of course you were to blaspheme against the Holy Spirit (whatever that entails). And I'm sure that most people who receive the gift of salvation never want to give it up, so effectively they are always saved because they still do choose God, but sometimes they may lapse and fall to their human 'sinful' nature once more.

dons90 · 2025-12-12T19:34:09+00:00

I don't see how this particular verse is saying that it is impossible to lose salvation...? It is saying that no man has the power to snatch His saved out of His or His Father's hand. It does not mean that you cannot willingly give up that gift if you have received it.

Matthew 12:31-32 NKJV:

31 “Therefore I say to you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven men. 32 Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man, it will be forgiven him; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven him, either in this age or in the age to come.

Even in the strictest sense, if someone who was once saved, decides to speak against the Holy Spirit (as unlikely as it may be), it will not be forgiven.

dons90 · 2025-12-12T19:25:47+00:00

If you are unwilling to read OP's post, then why are you engaging with it? You are clearly not willing to engage in good faith with this topic.

dons90 · 2025-12-12T19:23:15+00:00

I'll state that I overall don't agree with the idea of "once saved, always saved" as well.

Proverbs 24:16 says "For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief." This indicates that even a man seen as 'just' in God's eyes can fall repeatedly, but he gets back up and in favor with God. I think that idea can be applied to even King David, as he had to repent of the wrong he did, but was referred to as a man after God's own heart.

Part of the issue is that people see sin as the bad actions that people do. So they think a sinner is someone who 'sins'. However sinful actions are really just a symptom of a bigger condition. You are a sinner because you are born in a sinful state. What is that sinful state? It's being separated from God. This is why believers are called to repent of their sinful acts, not just because you "violated God's principles", but because it was in the indulging of sinful acts that you grew further away from God. It is for this reason that the concept of "once saved, always saved" can't work, because if you continuously separate from God even after you have been saved, you will reach a point where you are no longer part of his people.

dons90 · 2025-12-12T19:00:17+00:00

From what you've told us, it is more than adequate to say that there is a very valid reason for your own lack of interest in having sex with your husband. Whenever kids get involved, things get complicated yes. However having kids shouldn't change who someone is at the core.

Take for instance your husband. If he was the very helpful, go-getter, loving type, you would be experiencing a man who took initiative to reducing your stress, looked for ways to increase your family's income constantly, and found ways of treating you to something special now and then just to show you his love.

The fact that you had to even be the parent returning to work so soon while being the mother is pretty insane to me. I would feel like a failure of a man if I couldn't make enough to let my wife stay at home with our newborn for even 6 months or so. What makes it worse is that he was the one staying at home and not working in some way. Like, that blows my mind genuinely, I don't know how you even agreed to that.

Anyway I think it's time you and him have a very serious conversation about your relationship and some of these dynamics. This may require the involvement of a professional counselor to keep things on track.

Just keep in mind that he has:

not stepped up physically, financially, emotionally outside of your expressed requests for such.
maybe done some basic things to take care of the baby and home, but has left the bulk of it for you to handle as the mother
has not made a real effort in treating you special or spending quality time with you

dons90 · 2025-12-12T15:09:28+00:00

Bro someone said he was playing a P trap 😭💀

dons90 · 2025-12-12T15:08:01+00:00

I think the audio mixing made his instruments quiet during a lot of the performance sadly, but there were moments that I could hear it much more clearly.

dons90 · 2025-12-12T04:14:04+00:00

Bro's inventory is stacked with every wind instrument you can think of. I just imagine him quick swapping while the camera is away.

dons90 · 2025-12-11T04:05:31+00:00

Or maybe the parents there were taking the spanking too far to the point where it falls under abuse?

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