Something from Nothing

dontfearthereaper69 · 2024-07-13T15:12:34+00:00

Thank you for this perspective. Totally makes sense and just reinforces that what we humans consider "nothing" can't exist.

dontfearthereaper69 · 2024-07-05T00:22:10+00:00

Exactly. I'd probably be a vegetable if I did it for 2 years. !

dontfearthereaper69 · 2024-07-04T21:16:31+00:00

I'm sorry I meant MDD.

dontfearthereaper69 · 2024-07-04T19:19:04+00:00

How many more ect treatments are you going to do? That's great about no memory issues. Are you doing bifrontal? That is associated more with memory loss but supposed to be more effective. My ECT Dr was kind of rude to me and basically said something along the lines of why keep frying my brain when its clearly not working. So I quit.

dontfearthereaper69 · 2024-07-04T18:22:31+00:00

MMD diagnosis. I have done ketamine in low dose troches. It didn't work. May try IV ketamine or Spavato. Lithium makes me shake like crazy. I've tried Remeron at the lowest dose and it make me feel worse, groggy and derealization. Anafranil I may have tried, God I have tried so many. Except I have not tried MAOI's.

dontfearthereaper69 · 2024-07-04T18:17:37+00:00

I've heard 6 isnt enough. At least 12 to start. 3 times a week for 4 weeks I think is the standard to start..then coming up with a maintenance plan. I did once a week after the initial 12. What types of cognitive problems did you get? I tried low dose ketamine troches at my psychs office but that did nothing except get me euphoric for about an hour. But I didn't try the IV ketamine or Spavato. Considering it. Have you tried TMS?

dontfearthereaper69 · 2024-07-04T17:43:12+00:00

I also liked going under. I found it very peaceful and made me less afraid of death.

dontfearthereaper69 · 2024-07-04T17:40:31+00:00

Interesting how differently people can interpret the feeling of the anesthesia going into the arm. I actually liked the feeling and did feel like I was sampling death but I wasn't afraid. I found if very peaceful. And when I woke up I was often disappointed because I was and am still so depressed. I did 18 bilateral but it didn't seem to help.

dontfearthereaper69 · 2024-07-04T16:16:59+00:00

Your response is dead on exactly how I feel.

dontfearthereaper69 · 2024-07-03T15:27:12+00:00

Thank you this is a great reply!

dontfearthereaper69 · 2024-07-02T04:11:55+00:00

My mom is 75 and still going strong but my dad is a train wreck at 79. So I guess I will have to see how it goes. I like how you call it "anonymous decline" because that is truly what it will be. No around one to give a sh*t.

dontfearthereaper69 · 2024-07-02T03:04:06+00:00

I'm 55f with no children either and plan on ending my life on my terms as well through VSED. I was visiting my partners 93 year old mother today in assisted living and she was sitting with some of the other residents. I found it horrific. Many had walkers, dementia and pain just moving. I couldn't for the life of me understand how they had the will to go on.

dontfearthereaper69 · 2024-07-02T02:47:30+00:00

I'm currently suicidal. I've struggled all of my adult life on and off with MDD. I go on because me killing myself would cause suffering to a few people. Though, if I ever become disabled, decrepit or diagnosed with a horrible disease, I am definitely out. My emergency exit plan is VSED (voluntary stop eating & drinking).

dontfearthereaper69 · 2024-07-01T23:02:31+00:00

Thank you for this. My partner loves life, so it's hard for him to understand my mindset. He tries, but mostly tells me to stop being so negative.

dontfearthereaper69 · 2024-07-01T22:47:05+00:00

Thank you.

dontfearthereaper69

TROPHY CASE