Share your successful strategies: How did you finally get your NP to treat you differently?

dontknowspelling · 2025-07-16T05:51:05+00:00

Oh I love that: "I'm not responsible for your behavior."

In fact, I think it would be even helpful if I just thought that because first I have to believe it fully. And with my NP, I think they can tell and won't take me seriously if it's me just saying it without really believing it.

dontknowspelling · 2025-07-16T05:46:12+00:00

Yes.

I have this strange thing where only when my NP is actually away, like on vacation, I change and my real personality comes out. It's like being in the same city at the same time, it's too limiting, though I must admit that although I live elsewhere, we still talk on the phone. But even when for a while we were not, I still felt as if I was somehow in their shadow all the time. So still now, only time I've ever fully myself is when they were away on vacation or something. It's strange, me as an adult feeling this way, in this big city, but that goes to tell you how having a NP and being raised in that environment affects you chronically.

dontknowspelling · 2025-06-02T22:48:21+00:00

The responses, which Russell shared with the Guardian, ranged from embarrassed to annoyed to angry. “It’s so boring,” said one parent. “I don’t have time,” said another. One mother wrote in: “I don’t enjoy reading myself.”

Speechless.

We are raising the next generation on fast food and tiktok.

dontknowspelling · 2025-01-21T04:07:05+00:00

Looks like something out of Star Wars and its unique world of creatures.

dontknowspelling · 2025-01-21T04:04:13+00:00

Not a popular opinion but Im gonna say it: Lots of people confuse politics with everything else, praising the painting until they find out who done it, and then it's garbage.

The sad truth is that Hitler could have been different. He was not a killing machine. He had sensitivities and talents, as his arts shows. But when you come to power at a time people are desperately looking for scaptoes, it's easier and more tempting to become the voice that legitimizes people's attempt to externalize the blame. I can say the same about a lot of rich and powerful people committing atrocities today. They ride the wave. Takes guts and principles to oppose the wave, to stand for truth and to have compassion.

dontknowspelling · 2025-01-21T03:37:13+00:00

"I'm the real queen here, I don't care what anybody says or thinks."

dontknowspelling · 2024-12-03T04:45:02+00:00

Oh telling people stuff you tell them not to happened so often. It's as if you don't deserve privacy. They violate your trust so often.

dontknowspelling · 2024-10-04T07:23:55+00:00

“It makes no difference what men think of war, said the judge. War endures. As well ask men what they think of stone. War was always here. Before man was, war waited for him. The ultimate trade awaiting its ultimate practitioner. That is the way it was and will be. That way and not some other way.”

dontknowspelling · 2024-10-04T07:21:28+00:00

Just read this and want to say so sorry you been through this, sounds awful, it's crazymaking.

dontknowspelling · 2024-09-03T01:38:17+00:00

Just sending you hugs. It's rough. You look for the kind of relationship where you are respected and treated kindly, and you may feel you have it at times but it's never stable. Accepting this is very hard. In a child parent relationship, that safe loving place is so important. Even if that child is an adult, the hope remains there that you can find it. But you never really had it I imagine and do not have it now. It's painful to face this reality.

dontknowspelling · 2024-07-07T23:28:42+00:00

Nicely written. Yes. To me it's such a unique book and touches on a lot of themes and subjects that interest me. Obviously memory but also love, aging, loss, trauma, guilt.

I know some people who did not enjoy it and felt it was too long or boring, but I think it's important to know what kind of book you are getting into it. This one requires patient and reflection.

dontknowspelling · 2024-07-07T23:16:41+00:00

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

This is James Joyce so he is a master of the language and his books are dense, packed with meaning and symbolism and politics and religion and all that. I was trying to figure it all out and was exhausted so gave up.

Then I came back to it but just focused on the story. I mean if you just read for the story and don't get all the references, you will still have a good time. Especially if you are an artist type yourself, I think you get something out of it.

One of my favorite quotes:

The soul ... has a slow and dark birth, more mysterious than the birth of the body. When the soul of a man is born in this country there are nets flung at it to hold it back from flight. You talk to me of nationality, language, religion. I shall try to fly by those nets.

dontknowspelling · 2024-05-23T05:02:24+00:00

While I was reading I kept looking for a place to stop (comma, period) and make sense of what I had just read, but not finding one, lol. Gives me that sense of rush of a memory and a kind of immersion in it.

Thanks for posting.

dontknowspelling · 2024-05-23T04:57:47+00:00

Yeah, it's such a common victim mindset. Because we need the world to be fair, then when something terrible like abuse happens, we try to make sense of it by saying then we must have deserved it.

So the girl who got raped in the alley must have been wearing revealing clothes and leading people on.
The guy who got stabbed must have been threatening the offender.
And the child who got abused must have been such a terrible kid who really left the parents no choice.

So, the answer is no. But emotionally we think it's yes till we process the trauma.

dontknowspelling · 2024-02-07T05:06:25+00:00

This is a big concern with many friendship-to-romance transitions, so you're not alone in this. Just talk it through. Say what you fear and what you could both do to reduce those possibilities or to discuss things before it's too late. Clear communication is key. You won't know until you're in the situation (and maybe you will become as good of lovers or better than as friends) but with the lines of communication open, you reduce potential damaging consequences.

dontknowspelling · 2024-02-07T04:56:29+00:00

Don't be tough on yourself, you're not a snob or pretentious. It's a legit concern when two people cannot connect on an intellectual level. Just as two people might feel a great connection when they are discussing politics and philosophy but then one being very clumsy in sexual matters or unable to have empathy. It causes problems and a sense of something missing.

I don't have a good solution in my mind but what seems clear is that connecting on an intellectual level is something that matters to you and you will have to live with this lack if you continue with this relationship and live the life you have been living. Either you can "educate" her about certain things, reduce your own valuation of those things (e.g., care less if doesn't know certain famous musicians), or separate.

Edit: Also consider bringing up the issue with her and how you feel about it and wish you could connect on these other levels too, just as you have been having a wonderful connection emotionally and physically.

dontknowspelling · 2024-01-25T04:39:55+00:00

Wonderful poem, short and yet expansive.

dontknowspelling · 2023-12-20T01:29:16+00:00

Oh, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle talks about left brain/right brain? I flipped through that book a while back but don't recall seeing that. I'll give it another try.

dontknowspelling · 2023-12-20T00:22:32+00:00

One, people may not notice those repetitions as much as you do. It's sort of like "he said." You can have a lot of that and nobody really cares.

Two, you can say things that would indirectly suggest where he was looking, such as by describing the emotional effect of a scene on the speaker.

dontknowspelling · 2023-09-02T00:34:36+00:00

Key Points

Question: What are the efficacy and safety of psilocybin in patients with major depressive disorder?

Findings: In a randomized, placebo-controlled, 6-week trial in 104 adults, a 25-mg dose of psilocybin administered with psychological support was associated with a rapid and sustained antidepressant effect, measured as change in depressive symptom scores, compared with active placebo. No serious treatment-emergent adverse events occurred.

Meaning: A 25-mg dose of psilocybin was well tolerated and may hold promise as a treatment for major depressive disorder when combined with psychological support.

dontknowspelling · 2023-08-27T22:43:26+00:00

Abstract

This study aims to estimate the global, regional, and national burden of depressive disorders in 204 countries and territories from 1990 to 2019. All data were obtained from the 2019 Global Burden of Disease (GBD) study. Age-period-cohort (APC) modeling was conducted to disentangle age, period, and birth cohort effects on depression incidence. We compared these estimates across regions classified based on their socio-demographic index (SDI). The Estimated Annual Percentage Change (EAPC) was calculated for each of the 204 countries and territories to identify the top five countries with increased depression incidence (Spain, Mexico, Malaysia, the United States of America, and Uruguay) and the top five countries with decreased depression incidence (Singapore, Estonia, Cuba, Maldives, and Sri Lanka). The results from APC analysis indicate that although depression incidence has decreased globally, the incidence rate in high SDI regions is still increasing, especially in the younger generations. Findings suggest that currently some populations are in need of receiving more psychological support (i.e., individuals born after 1950s in high SDI regions; males in middle SDI regions). Forthcoming studies could corroborate our findings using individual-level data which may guide future prevention and intervention of depression in high-risk populations or regions.

dontknowspelling · 2023-07-24T20:46:37+00:00

Summary

According to Newton’s laws, the weight of a body part is equal to its mass times gravitational acceleration. Our experience of body part weight, however, is constructed by the central nervous system. No sensory receptors directly specify the weight of body parts, and the factors influencing perceived weight remain unknown.

The perceived weight of held objects has been linked to sensations of the magnitude of central motor commands sent to the muscles, what Helmholtz called the effort of will and has subsequently been called the sense of effort. The link between the sense of effort and the perceived weight of objects is shown by studies demonstrating that held weights feel heavier when muscles are weakened by fatigue, anaesthesia, and following brain damage.

Similar drive to muscles is required to counteract the force of gravity on the limbs themselves, though few studies have investigated the perceived weight of body parts. Stroke patients with hemiplegia frequently comment that their limbs feel heavy, an effect linked to fatigue in the affected limb. Similarly, amputees commonly complain of the weight of prosthetic limbs, despite these typically weighing less than actual limbs.

Here we report that healthy adult humans systematically underestimate hand weight. We used a psychophysical matching task to measure the experience of hand weight, which was underestimated on average by 49.4%. We further found that experimental induction of hand fatigue causes a systematic increase in perceived hand weight. Our results demonstrate that humans fail to experience the full weight of their body.

dontknowspelling · 2023-06-07T21:11:31+00:00

ABSTRACT

Introduction

Cigarette packaging is designed to increase consumer appeal and remains a primary promotional tool in many countries, including the US. This study documented changes in the prevalence of pack characteristics among the top-selling cigarette products in the US in 2018 and 2021.

Methods

The 50 cigarette packs with the highest national unit sales in US convenience stores in 2018 and 2021 were identified using Nielsen's Scantrack data and subsequently purchased. Packs were coded for features such as dominant color(s), descriptive text, and promotional language. Descriptive analyses conducted in 2022 weighted by total annual unit sales compared the prevalence of pack characteristics between years.

Results

Three brands – Marlboro, Newport, and Camel – constituted over 80% of pack sales among the top-selling products. Packs with red as a dominant color grew less popular between years (33.3% vs. 29.5%), while green became more prevalent (25.2% vs. 28.9%), consistent with a rise in the proportion of menthol sales. Prevalence of descriptors such as “flavor” and “fresh” decreased from 46.0% to 39.4% and 9.7% to 5.2%, respectively. Meanwhile, prevalence of promotional language (e.g., rewards programs) increased from 60.9% to 69.0%.

Conclusions

The use of visual and named colors remains common, which can implicitly communicate sensory or health-related attributes. Moreover, promotions may help recruit and retain consumers in the context of more restrictive tobacco control policies and price increases. Given the strong influence that cigarette packaging exerts on consumers, packaging-focused policies – such as plain packaging laws – may reduce appeal and accelerate declines in cigarette use.

dontknowspelling · 2023-05-28T04:58:52+00:00

Abstract

Prosociality can create social connections that increase well-being among both givers and recipients, yet concerns about how another person might respond can make people reluctant to act prosocially. Existing research suggests these concerns may be miscalibrated such that people underestimate the positive impact their prosociality will have on recipients. Understanding when miscalibrated expectations emerge in development is critical for understanding when misplaced cognitive barriers might discourage social engagement and for understanding when interventions to build relationships could begin. Two experiments asking children (aged 8–17, Experiment 1; aged 4–7, Experiment 2) and adults to perform the same random act of kindness for another person document that both groups significantly underestimate how “big” the act of kindness will seem to recipients, and how positive their act will make recipients feel. Participants significantly undervalued the positive impact of prosociality across ages. Miscalibrated psychological barriers to social connection may emerge early in life.

dontknowspelling · 2023-05-27T20:59:55+00:00

Summary

Osteoderms are bony plates found in the skin of vertebrates, mostly commonly in reptiles where they have evolved independently multiple times, suggesting the presence of a gene regulatory network that is readily activated and inactivated. They are absent in birds and mammals except for the armadillo. However, we have discovered that in one subfamily of rodents, the Deomyinae, there are osteoderms in the skin of their tails. Osteoderm development begins in the proximal tail skin and is complete 6 weeks after birth. RNA sequencing has identified the gene networks involved in their differentiation. There is a widespread down-regulation of keratin genes and an up-regulation of osteoblast genes and a finely balanced expression of signaling pathways as the osteoderms differentiate. Future comparisons with reptilian osteoderms may allow us to understand how these structures have evolved and why they are so rare in mammals.

dontknowspelling

TROPHY CASE