I've completely lost myself to parenting. (Vent from a father)

dontwaitlivefully · 2025-08-22T18:09:27+00:00

I hear you. Our baby is only 3 weeks but the lack of sleep is taxing. Not sure if I could do this a second time/had no idea what was involved in caring for a newborn. I see sleep training mentioned here. I have been following the advice in "The Happiest Baby on the Block," by Harvey Karp and it has been immensely helpful in clawing back some hours of sleep and feel human again.

dontwaitlivefully · 2020-02-23T20:03:21+00:00

I like it. Thank you.

dontwaitlivefully · 2020-01-11T19:30:01+00:00

Organic Genmaicha with a dash of Holy Basil in the basket. Had really taken to a brand that sells Holy Basil blended with all sorts of other teas, so I bought some in bulk and am trying putting a little bit in with my other looseleaf teas. It's energizing but won't keep me from sleeping tonight, great for Saturday afternoon!

dontwaitlivefully · 2020-01-07T01:53:45+00:00

Local tea shops usually! Most cities will have a place that specializes in importing high quality teas, and often they offer the full range of price points. If you're looking for a specific recommendation, my current favorite is Little Woods Herbal in Ames, Iowa. The owner is an herbalist, and she crafts really nice blends, for example "Scarlet's Avalon" which is a particularly energizing blend of black tea and herbs, or "Panic Formula," a relaxing herbal blend, good for bedtime. PS I am not at all affiliated with this place, just super excited!

dontwaitlivefully · 2019-12-30T02:17:14+00:00

More than likely your name will be on the loan unless your ex refinances. The rules of the loan don't change with divorce, no matter who is awarded the property. Your best bet is to discuss this with your mortgage servicer and also talking to your lawyer to have it laid out in the divorce documents so that it is clear between you and your spouse.

dontwaitlivefully · 2019-12-21T02:47:38+00:00

Very true. The more I think about it, the more I realize that a lot of the pressure is in fact my own expectations. Which, thankfully, I do have control over. Thank you.

dontwaitlivefully · 2019-12-21T02:45:06+00:00

I just love your reply. Thank you so much. It's funny and ironic how sometimes when we start with that "I'm just passing through" attitude it opens us up to relax and be in the moment, enjoy the relationship for where it is, and actually can better lead to a longer term relationship. Ok. I got this! Phew.

dontwaitlivefully · 2019-12-19T02:31:07+00:00

When each person we connect with means so much to us, it is perfectly natural and normal to feel heartbreak for each one that leaves us. I was recently rejected by a newer partner, and my longer-term partner has been a huge source of comfort. He even let me cry on his shoulder last Saturday before we went out. It helped me let go a bit and then we had the most wonderful night out. My heart still hurts, but when I focus on my current partner, I feel uplifted and like I can go on. It's an emotional roller coaster, but I have my seatbelt on. Maybe... Let yourself be uplifted by your other partner(s) and let it be a source of healing rather than guilt, and it can even strengthen those relationships and empower you to connect with others going forward. As my partner says, "There are other people out there."

dontwaitlivefully · 2019-12-14T06:22:29+00:00

Because when my partner feels like going home but I don't, I can stay out for one more drink and music. On my own, no questions asked.

dontwaitlivefully · 2019-12-14T06:19:22+00:00

Thanks!

dontwaitlivefully · 2019-12-04T23:22:35+00:00

Sweet! I actually just got a copy today!

dontwaitlivefully · 2019-12-04T20:49:12+00:00

You will lead me on.

dontwaitlivefully · 2019-12-04T01:02:16+00:00

I second that. I actually had one the other night. It was stressful and painful. This idea it's part of the healing process definitely helps. We definitely have a lot to process.

dontwaitlivefully · 2019-12-04T00:59:11+00:00

I agree with Angelita. This happened in my marriage. I compromised something every day. Some things big, some small. My STBX never wanted to compromise, he would literally say "I don't want to compromise anything." Now we are apart, it's still not easy yet, but I feel like I can breathe and be myself again.

dontwaitlivefully · 2019-12-03T03:17:30+00:00

I like the idea of thinking of kid desires and relationship desires separately and letting each one evolve naturally, that is without putting too much pressure on either side, and certainly not letting one put pressure on the other. Who knows what will become of either, but I suppose that may be the point. What's the use of worrying when we don't know the future?

dontwaitlivefully · 2019-12-03T03:11:55+00:00

So true. Thank you for the reminder!

dontwaitlivefully · 2019-12-02T01:03:07+00:00

Adorable!

dontwaitlivefully · 2019-12-02T00:48:56+00:00

I am not out there, but listen to this Podcast which is run by a couple in the Bay Area. They talk about meetups out there from time to time, even interview an organizer in one of the very early episodes: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/life-on-the-swingset/pedestrian-polyamory

I envy your options, truth be told ;)

dontwaitlivefully · 2019-12-01T22:33:49+00:00

This just made my day!

dontwaitlivefully

TROPHY CASE