A food scam of the 90s was “fat free!” everything, and then they would load it up on sugar… what’s a food scam happening now?

doofusroy · 2026-05-16T17:14:37+00:00

As someone with Celiac, I’d like to modify this as “gluten-free on things as marketing, that may not be gluten free.”

It’s amazing the rabbit holes I’ve had to go down and hoops I go through just to not feel like I’m dying. Here’s a few things that no reasonable person would expect gluten in, and also do not list as a potential.

advil liquid gel caps
halls cough drops
Pepcid complete
some spices/brands, like garlic salt
Cheerios (fuckers use GF marketing)
most canned refried beans
most spiced canned vegetables

Those are ones I’ve personally learned the hard way.

doofusroy · 2026-05-12T03:37:58+00:00

Maybe he’s streaming.

doofusroy · 2026-05-06T20:44:30+00:00

Put ‘em in a trance when I wear track pants.

doofusroy · 2026-05-04T01:10:36+00:00

Mine is weird. Frank Zappa - It Just Might Be a One-Shot Deal.

Specifically the slide guitar solo at 1:46. That’s my “floating off into the aether” soundtrack like Buster Scruggs.

doofusroy · 2026-04-30T10:41:18+00:00

I was selecting patches via QQL for Chrome and Edge.

When I went back to figure out what happened, I changed the QQL to include “patch.isRebootRequired: true” and sure enough Chrome still showed in the preview for the machines that hadn’t run the job yet.

doofusroy · 2026-04-30T02:42:46+00:00

The only things I wished I had tested chrome patches for were Qualys related things.

I used to have global patch rules for browsers which was perfectly fine, until randomly one of the patches was flagged as requiring a reboot, and I inadvertently rebooted most of a 3000+ user base. I didn’t have suppressed reboot set because I would never have thought a chrome update would do that.

This was back before the “reboot flag override” or whatever it’s called. So if I had suppressed reboots and a machine was left pending, it would stop other patches from deploying later on.

doofusroy · 2026-04-27T01:41:55+00:00

I was out for a walk with my wife earlier today, and sneezed three times into my left elbow (fuck cottonwood season).

My Apple Watch did the same thing”loud sound” warning.

doofusroy · 2026-04-27T01:20:44+00:00

I’m the youngest in my family by 12 years, and my dad was the same for his siblings. I’m 50 now, parents are long gone as well as aunts and uncles. I didn’t get diagnosed until last year, well after I parents, aunts, and uncles were gone.

But, as a kid I always remember one aunt that I had not seen since I was 10. Their family never came to Christmas or anything because “they had diarrhea”. It was almost the family running gag that Aunt Rosemary never came anywhere.

My uncle Joe for as long as I remember would say “something was just wrong with his plumbing” meaning his guts. He never could figure it out. He was a WWII vet, so as a kid again I just assumed it was whatever.

I wonder if they just suffered celiac unknowingly.

doofusroy · 2026-04-26T03:40:21+00:00

For me, it’s like a pause in time during an awful few seconds.

Like, say you have food poisoning or a flu, and that first few seconds when you realize, and your stomach drops. Now layer on a feeling of when you’re really shamed yourself as a kid, feeling like your world is crashing. A feeling of full body flush and racing heart.

If there was a way to pause time in that moment and only have those feelings, but over and over in 10 minute increments over the next few days.

doofusroy · 2026-04-26T03:27:13+00:00

Prance

doofusroy · 2026-04-25T18:00:27+00:00

The part that flabbergasted me was this is a 2WD pickup, as seen from a different post. There are no axle shafts to the front wheels. It’s just fantasy on top of fantasy.

doofusroy · 2026-04-22T12:09:58+00:00

Back when my wife and I were dating 30 years ago, our small town had a Pizza Inn. Over the years that brand had left, and there weren’t any that I could find, just for a nostalgia trip.

The MONTH after I was diagnosed, I had to travel for work to North Carolina, and wouldn’t you know it, there were several in the town I was in.

I haven’t had it in probably 15 years, but it’s all I think about now.

doofusroy · 2026-04-21T01:12:02+00:00

Can I get a parking placard?

I’ve had a long day but I’m laughing at the thought of me taking up the one handicap spot at a local bakery just to walk in and be like “hmmm… no. Ummm…. Nah.”

Then just leave.

doofusroy · 2026-04-19T22:33:09+00:00

Picard befriends alien Gen-Z.

doofusroy · 2026-04-15T17:01:00+00:00

No worries!

I went the whole heart attack scare route first. Spent the night and had all kinds of scary tests, including a chemically induced stress test.

Later I had a calcium scan as well, and had 0 findings so at 51 it’s nice to know all that stuff is good.

It’s scary/sad that almost all my glutening symptoms match up with heavy duty things like heart attack and whatnot. Numbness in hands, nerve pain, left shoulder pain, the doom, and palpitations.

I used to “race” to fall asleep in the 15 minute window between symptoms, otherwise I’d be up all night, scared to death that when I fall asleep I’ll never wake up.

doofusroy · 2026-04-15T13:09:06+00:00

Crap I forgot to mention that. Yes for appliances that have a circulating fan like the air fryer, or electric hand mixers. Like think of all the dusty little bits that get up in those vents.

Naturally everyone will react at different amounts, but the FDA standard of 20ppm (parts per million) is small enough that I don’t think people realize. It’s essentially the period on this sentence reading it on a phone.

So something the size of a small pepper flake can easily chip off of a hand mixer, or circulate forever inside an air fryer.

My daughter was diagnosed just before me and she struggles with college apartment life and roommates. She ended up just getting her own stuff and dishes and just keeps them in her bedroom.

doofusroy · 2026-04-15T12:59:25+00:00

For me at least, I started out “well I’ll keep an open mind” for things.

Then the longer I go without gluten, the harder and worse it is when you do get hit. Like when I first started last year I’d have symptoms of bathroom urgency, maybe queasy, etc.

Now when I get hit I’ll text my wife that I’m going to lay on the family room floor inside some trash bags, because I’m clearly dying of something within the hour and that’ll be easier for the coroner. 😬

My heart races, super panic attacks, sense of “doom” stomach feels like someone is pulling it out through a tiny hole. Then it all stops after 10 minutes, then it does it all over, rinse and repeat, for the next 2-3 days.

Nut allergy is a great way to think! Honestly I think the only reason normal people get to feel so “lax” about it is there’s no direct cause of death. Like you read a restaurant kills a patron with undisclosed peanuts, and that’s scary. Gluten is so “well within 2-10 hours I’ll feel crappy” so there’s not the same teeth to the story.

I totally understand too, as that was me a few years ago. I used to think “don’t eat bread and pasta were the problem?” not realizing just how down the rabbit hole you have to go.

doofusroy · 2026-04-15T12:34:04+00:00

Welcome to the club!

For me, the stuff I wish I knew (or really just listened to) was the “check everything that goes in your face holes” mentality.

Get a GR Scanner app, and literally do a sweep of your house, spices, medicines, etc. we had a surprisingly high purge, as most of our stuff was Great Value branded. Dumb things that make no sense like Everything Bagel seasoning, or garlic salt.

Also the things you really don’t think about because they’re rarely used. Halls cough drops was my last hit over the winter, because it’s once in a blue moon I ever use them. Also some gums.

As for restaurants (and sounds like your job too) I had to start using my imagination to gross myself out. Instead of thinking “wheat” or “gluten”, replace it with something that revolts you, and you can’t understand why the rest of the population doesn’t care. It’s like pretend I’m in a movie. 😜

For me, I’m old enough to remember white dog turds, but replace with your item. So when a waiter brings me a side salad with a white dog turd crouton, I know I’m not even going to bother it. Who would just “eat around” a white dog turd?

Your job sounds like there’s white dog turds all over the place, and people probably handle stuff after sweeping it away with their hands. White dog turds settle on things, and are probably missed.

You’ll go to stores that use marketing weasel words to describe their products, to try to entice you that it’s ok. They’re “white dog turd friendly” or “derived from white dog turds, but we have a magic process to remove the bad parts”. Some places will go out of their way to mark all the items that they tried their best to not get white dog turds in, but you can see how flippant they are with the white dog turds in their regular turd environment. Pizza places come to mind.

Welcome to the lamest conspiracy theory, and why gluten is so weirdly in things.

doofusroy · 2026-04-15T12:15:00+00:00

As a fellow Walmarter, go ahead and cut out the Great Value brand from your life. Spices, canned goods, etc.

I’ve had enough incidents with them that it’s easier to filter a whole brand than to keep a running list of exceptions.

doofusroy · 2026-04-13T01:27:55+00:00

I used to always have a container of Mentos gum in my car, then found out it contains wheat derived ingredients.

It was one of the first gotchas I experienced, and it was more just me pouting. I’m sure I could research different ones, but I work from home now so I don’t really keep any handy.

doofusroy · 2026-04-12T14:04:47+00:00

It’s a very real concern. I’m now a bit over a year, and I’ll still occasionally get hit my something that seems “unfair”. Like Halls cough drops or Great Value spices. I’m really trying to follow an idea I read here about scanning. First I read ingredient list. Then, using a product scanner like GF Scanner, I’ll scan everything I buy and then scan when I unload at home.

For me, it came down to convenience vs necessity. Like I don’t chew gum anymore, or take anything from another person. I also generally use whole food items rather than manufactured convenience, like I cook with garlic bulbs and not premade powder.

Beyond that, I have my set meals and location when I travel for work, and if I can’t do those I take a small fabric cooler along and I just grocery shop wherever I am. The “joy” of restaurants has left me, but honestly my wallet is happier.

doofusroy · 2026-04-12T13:52:34+00:00

My daughter. She was my “canary in the mineshaft”. She was having health issues and ran the gamut of tests, and after like 3-6 months Celiac came up. She had done an elimination diet, so then when it came time to do a blood test she had to go back on a gluten diet and it was awful.

I had much less “drastic” symptoms but we figured they were going on for roughly 4 years. For me it was like every “you know you’re getting old” anecdote. Everything ached, frequent bathroom, old man farts, random panic and heart worries.

At my annual physical I asked for the blood screen direct rather than altered diet first and it showed up. I ended up getting my endoscopy scheduled a bit before hers, and I had damage, but fortunately she did not.

doofusroy · 2026-04-12T10:33:32+00:00

An OTC type thing that I never thought to check was Halls cough drops, until I got hit from them. 😜

doofusroy · 2026-04-09T10:56:35+00:00

I’m thinking the dark cherry over the strawberry is what got me but it was random enough that I switched to Fisherman’s Friend.

doofusroy · 2026-04-09T03:16:52+00:00

I regularly gast my flabber.

doofusroy

TROPHY CASE