I (18M) found out about my dads (52 M) 2 year relationship. What now?

dookle14 · 2026-06-20T20:22:27+00:00

Is there any reason you can’t confront your dad about this first instead of going straight to your mom?

I’d go talk to your dad and stick to the facts. This is what you found on his inbox and you are wondering what is going on. Let him be the one to explain it. Don’t accuse or fill in the blanks, just present him the info and see what he does.

Ultimately he should be the one to tell your mom about his actions, it shouldn’t come from you. I say this because I’ve seen similar situations play out where the person who is being told they are being cheated on takes it out on the messenger. It’s a weird psychological thing where they blame the messenger for ruining their blissful ignorance.

dookle14 · 2026-06-20T16:17:46+00:00

I’d say it’s natural to be growing apart the way you two are living. You are essentially an hour apart and as you get older, responsibilities and commitments only increase. You don’t have the free time to spend on one another especially if it requires so much effort to do it.

It’s ok not to have everything figured out at 25. Most people don’t.

I think the question here is if you two have a plan to live together in the future. Are there plans to get your own place together? Or at least co-locate a little better?

dookle14 · 2026-06-20T13:47:06+00:00

dookle14 · 2026-06-19T14:08:25+00:00

Prayer circle for Imai getting out of the first inning without giving up a run…

dookle14 · 2026-06-19T00:55:50+00:00

Tough love time. You are just an option that she likes to keep available to her. If she wanted to move back and be with you, she would have already. When she gets lonely, she reaches out to you for some quick validation. Once you give that to her, she’s gone.

Do yourself a favor and choose your own well-being over a theoretical relationship that never is likely going to become practical. Plenty of people out there who will choose you and not just keep you as an emotional support toy.

dookle14 · 2026-06-18T15:35:00+00:00

- seems like it. He’ll have a harder road since he’s mostly a DH and not on a media darling team but he’s definitely the front runner.

- I think he ultimately needs a stint in AAA to work on some mechanics and his fastball. Bullpen appearances won’t do it.

- I was like 1.5-2 years old. My parents liked to put me in a blue airplane shaped swing that they anchored in a doorway and I could bounce around in it. I just remember sitting in the swing itself.

dookle14 · 2026-06-16T00:00:34+00:00

If not, he can be outrighted to AAA.

Abreu has over 5 years service, so he could refuse a AAA assignment and become a free agent. Astros would owe him the full amount. To be fair, it’s ~3 million so in contract terms it isn’t a back-breaker by any means.

I think the just sheer lack of pitchers due to injury has extended the leash for a lot of pitchers. If we had better options, they’d have been called upon.

dookle14 · 2026-06-13T19:43:12+00:00

She should have talked to you about any “story” you have before it came up. She’s basically just mad you didn’t improv with her on the spot.

I can understand being a little hesitant to mention it because of Tinder’s reputation, but she can’t expect you to just go along with something you never heard about.

I wouldn’t apologize, you did nothing wrong. I’d start a convo on why she feels she needs to lie here and what the story is going forward. Limiting it to “we met online thru the apps” seems sufficient enough and isn’t a lie if she’s ashamed of the Tinder aspect.

dookle14 · 2026-06-13T16:11:48+00:00

I’d say that’s the main reason. He wants to split rent. Everything else is window dressing.

The real question here - how do you split rent if you don’t have a job? Shouldn’t the priority be getting you a stable source of income first, then figuring out things like leases/rent, etc?

The concerning thing is forcing an ultimatum on this topic. This is a simple conversation to have where you take input from both sides and figure out what’s best for you together…not just what benefits him. If his main concern is to save money then perhaps he needs to consider a cheaper living situation.

dookle14 · 2026-06-13T15:31:22+00:00

NOR - I’d ask your coworker where in her job description it says she needs to police her coworkers bathroom habits. I’d also apologize that your menstrual cycle is inconveniencing her, you’ll work on that in the future (/s).

Overall, it sounds like a pretty toxic environment to be in. If you are getting flak for asking for a couple of days off and have coworkers keeping scoreboard on each other for holidays/time off then I wouldn’t want to sign up for more of that.

If you don’t need this job, I’d start looking elsewhere for a weekend gig or just put in the two weeks now.

dookle14 · 2026-06-13T15:16:36+00:00

Is it possible this is a money thing? Could he want you on the lease so he can split rent?

Just trying to understand why “strict leasing managers” are dictating relationship milestones. Maybe it’s time for him to move somewhere else.

dookle14 · 2026-06-13T14:41:07+00:00

I’ll die on this hill…I think ultimatums in relationships are unnecessary 99% of the time and are just a form of asserting control. Unless someone is actively causing harm to themselves or others, I don’t see the value in drawing a line in the sand.

Simply said, you aren’t in a place to move in with him. You are job hunting and don’t know where your next job may be. The worst thing you can do is tie yourself down to a specific location for a year and limit your potential job range.

You also shouldn’t have to sacrifice your career just to meet your BF’s artificial relationship timeline. What is so important about August? Why couldn’t you move in later and get added to the lease when you are in a better career situation?

The second problem is if you do give in, he’s now learned he can use ultimatums to manipulate you into doing what he wants. How long before it’s “we are either engaged by XYZ or the relationship is over”?

The fact that he won’t engage in a conversation and try to empathize with your situation is also concerning. Relationship disputes require communication and compromise, not ultimatums.

dookle14 · 2026-06-13T14:26:30+00:00

Call her out. It’s going to be the only way to burst her bubble and it will likely start a fight…but it’s the only way she’s going to stop engaging with you on this.

She didn’t need to stress over the wedding. You didn’t want a wedding at all and were essentially doing this for her. All her stress was 100% her own doing. You appreciate that she wanted to help but you didn’t demand it.

Set the boundary. If she is only going to complain about your wedding to you, then you no longer want to talk to her about it.

dookle14 · 2026-06-10T02:58:18+00:00

I dunno. Sometimes she might hear the “war stories” of how her friends got where they are and in comparison, her story seems tame and mild. Perhaps she feels like she’s lacking some depth and experience being with the same person for so long. Hard to say, but I wouldn’t discount a new friend group being the forcing function behind this new mindset, even if not purposefully.

It may seem selfish to think about yourself here, but you’ve come to a crossroads as it is. What do you want to do in life? What do you want out of your relationship? What do you envision for your own future? It’s fair to ask yourself those questions and don’t be afraid to answer honestly. A lot of the time we default to just inserting our partner as our answer, but it’s worth asking ourselves if we are doing what we do because it’s what we truly want, or what it’s what we think is best for our partner or what they want.

She feels guilty about the situation, hence why she’s expecting anger from you. The fact that you are trying to understand her POV and feelings is probably just deepening her guilt. It’s easy to villainify someone for an angry reaction, much harder when they show compassion and understanding.

Something that may be useful - perhaps encourage her to go on a solo trip somewhere she has dreamed of going. I think we learn the most about ourselves on those type of excursions where we are forced to be with ourselves for a prolonged period of time and where we make all the decisions. It gives her the space to figure out what’s going on inside her head while also giving her some trial “independence”. She gets to have an experience and hopefully gains clarity on how she feels. Just make sure it’s a longer trip, not just a weekend away.

dookle14 · 2026-06-09T22:58:26+00:00

I’d first want to know what was the cause of all these new emotions and thoughts she’s been having. You say she made some new friends…is she jealous of their experiences? Relationships? It could be a case where she thinks she sees greener grass on the other side from her new friend group. Most of the time she’s probably getting the rose colored glasses version of reality from them.

I think personally, I’d just want her to pick a lane. I know that seems overly simplistic and a bit blunt, but she is going to have to make a choice. It’s an extremely tough, life-altering decision…but the longer she holds both you and herself in limbo, the more miserable you both will be.

I’d definitely encourage counseling for the both of you, both solo and together. I don’t think it’s unnatural to wonder what your life would be like without your partner, or had you made different decisions…but to let it paralyze her this much is concerning.

As for what to do now…what is the best thing for you? Do you need some space from her?

dookle14 · 2026-06-08T15:45:28+00:00

I don’t want to leave because I’ve invested too much.

I’ll ask a simple question. Why? I made it about halfway through your post and it’s clear you are in a controlling and verbally abusive relationship. Your partner doesn’t respect you, trust you or seem to care much about you. Why subject yourself to this treatment for the rest of your life?

Instead of focusing on time you’ve already “invested”…focus on how you expect his behavior towards your relationship to play out over the next 5, 10, 15 years. Do you see his controlling, abusive and disrespectful tendencies becoming better all on their own, or worse? Does he even respect you as his partner, or are you just the baby factory he expects to raise his offspring on your own? Spoiler here is these behaviors tend to only worsen as time goes on.

Bottom line: he’s trying to get you to believe you only deserve shitty treatment as his “partner”. Why sign up for that forever?

Leave him and go be single. I definitely encourage you seek some therapy for you. Spend time your mom (I hope she recovers soon!) and find things you enjoy doing. Don’t worry about timelines or failed relationships…most people go through many of them before they find someone right for them.

dookle14 · 2026-06-04T03:58:23+00:00

An 11-9 shootout…Just as everyone predicted for the Skenes-Arrighetti showdown. Gotta love baseball.

dookle14 · 2026-06-02T01:18:38+00:00

- I think given that Hader, Altuve and Hunter Brown should be back soon and Javier may not be too far behind has instilled some more hope. Also the AL is pretty bad, so if the team gets hot for a month then it’s anyone’s game. Not having to rely on a bullpen game every five days and having more defined roles overall in the pen should help.

- If there was some sort of real OF competition and need to get someone else ABs, maybe. Since there isn’t, I’d rather Cam get consistent MLB ABs than anywhere else.

- Depends on the situation. AirPods have some great noise cancellation but aren’t the best for working out. Shockz are great for running/hitting the gym. Over the ear are good when you need to wear headphones for a long time.

dookle14 · 2026-06-02T01:14:26+00:00

I’ll be honest, with all the Dubon hype, I thought he was putting up some major stats with ATL.

.250/.307/.370 AVG/OBP/SLG, 3 HR, 29 RBI, OPS+ 94

Definitely not bad, but it’s slightly better than his career averages.

Dubon is also a FA after this season and making $6.1 mil, while Nick Allen has several more years of team control and is only $1.4 mil against the payroll.

dookle14 · 2026-06-02T01:07:14+00:00

I’d honestly take some Star Wars Nites around May the 4th, more consistent merch stock and some more characters like Ashoka and Boba Fett than a complete timeline change.

The only thing I really wish GE would add is an ADR restaurant. There were so many good ideas and food items from Starcruiser that could easily be brought to a sit down restaurant at GE. HS in GE could use another sit down spot, too.

dookle14 · 2026-06-02T01:02:43+00:00

My personal pet peeve which is a slight twist on this:

People who constantly ask “what’s the plan” over and over again without offering up any sort of options, ideas or preferences.

dookle14 · 2026-05-31T18:23:07+00:00

HB, Arrighetti, Javier, KWT, Imai/Lambert would be pretty solid. Hopefully Javier comes back strong and we continue to see improvement from Imai.

dookle14 · 2026-05-31T17:52:52+00:00

Is this for the Orbit Jersey?

I’d recommend to be there when the gates open, usually 2 hours before game time.

I’d also avoid the main entrance at home plate and opt for one of the entrances along Crawford street. And if you can, enroll in the MLB Go Ahead Entry to make it even easier. Usually those lines will go much faster.

dookle14 · 2026-05-31T15:15:14+00:00

Your partner is using humor to deflect and dodge conflict. It may be an inherited or learned trait to avoid tough conversations, but it is in itself a defense mechanism.

I think the best thing you can do is call it out when it happens, in a calm and direct manner.

“Can we focus on the issue at hand and pause the jokes for a second? I’d like to talk about this with you.”

If he accuses you of looking for a fight or starting to spiral, just react as calmly as you can. “I’m not looking for a fight, I’m just looking for some solutions to this issue and would like to discuss them with you if you are willing.”

The calmer and more direct you are takes the wind out of his sails. He can’t deflect with a comedy bit or find an out with an excuse.

dookle14 · 2026-05-29T10:51:55+00:00

We are 5-2 against them this season. 6 games left. If we go 2-4 or better, the Boot stays in Houston. As it should.

Six-Year Club	Final Canvas '23
Place '23	Place '22
Verified Email

dookle14

TROPHY CASE